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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to share a room at age 27?

421 replies

Tangw · 01/05/2025 13:57

Every year, our extended family rents a big house and we spend a week together. Always rent the same house.

Growing up, I have always had to share a room with a younger female relative. This hasn’t happened for a number of years because usually someone in the family can’t come for whatever reason, so me or the relative gets to have the spare room.

This year, everyone can make it which is great. But that means that I have to share a bedroom for the week. AIBU to not want to share at this age?

OP posts:
StrongandNorthern · 01/05/2025 14:41

'Precious' is certainly the word which springs to my mind too.
'27' - too old to share a room
Or,
'27" - time to grow up ?

SpotlessLeopard · 01/05/2025 14:41

I think it's fine to share as long as you get along with who you're sharing with. Is the cost split? Will a different property increase the costs for everyone?

latetothefisting · 01/05/2025 14:41

YANBU not to want to share but

A - its a subjective view that differs from person to person so I wouldn't assume everyone/anybody else would have even considered this as a possible issue for you. I was on a hen recently where people were asked to share beds (some with women they'd never met before) and was shocked everyone else was fine with it. Lots of 27 year olds are still staying in hostels when travelling, etc. So it's something that varies a lot about what's the "norm". Its fine for you to not want to but equally not automatically unreasonable to have been suggested

B - YWBU to say you don't want to do something but make no effort to find an alternative. If you'd found a different, equally suitable property that didn't cost any more pp for everyone else attending they might be unreasonable but if you just said "I don't want to share" and expected them to subsidise you getting a room to yourself, or going somewhere not as nice then that's on you

TheHerboriste · 01/05/2025 14:42

Toolatetoasknow · 01/05/2025 14:05

Don't go then.
Or
Find somewhere for yourself locally.

Unreasonable to expect whole extended family to change plans because of you.

They’d change plans and get a larger house if a married couple joined the party, rather than expect them to bunk in with others.

Why should the same courtesy not be afforded to solo members of the family?

TheaBrandt1 · 01/05/2025 14:44

You sound quite precious. Am 50 and share with friends. Everyone getting their own room massively bumps up the cost

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/05/2025 14:46

I hate sharing. And it's not 'precious'. It's a preference and on holiday, surely preferences are nice.

But if I wasn't paying, I wouldn't complain.

pizzaHeart · 01/05/2025 14:47

MadeleineAllbright · 01/05/2025 14:12

Who’s paying what? That’s a pretty crucial factor here.

This^
Also:

  • is anyone have their own room ( apart from couples)
  • is that your only opportunity to see the family
  • how big is the gathering

Age doesn’t matter, it’s about mindset. I know a lot of people in their 50s who happily share with their friends and relatives. Last time I shared I was 22 and it was drunken emergency piling up at a wedding in the middle of no where. Needless to say I declined staying for one more night.

IKillUnkillablePlants · 01/05/2025 14:49

YANBU

I wouldn't want to share, in the past when single occupancy hasn't been an option on group trips I just haven't gone, (unless I'm going away with DH of course, but even then would probably prefer my own room 😂) I just don't sleep well if there's someone else in the room, and a week of no sleep is not a relaxing holiday.

steff13 · 01/05/2025 14:49

You're not unreasonable to not want to share. Assuming the reason you have to share is because there are not enough bedrooms for you to have your own, if you want your own room the family is going to have to rent a different property. So you need to be willing to make up the difference of the cost between the existing property and the new property.

rosemarble · 01/05/2025 14:49

How has your extended family not changed much in nearly 10 years? Haven't others of your generation gained partners, or had children?
Or is it just you and the younger relative in your generation and everyone else is older and settled?

SinkToTheBottomWithYou · 01/05/2025 14:50

Who is paying? Who is the other person you are asked to share with (sister or someone you
barely know)? Are there other people on their own except you two?

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 01/05/2025 14:50

@Tangw why cant someone else share for a change?? are the rooms all twin rooms? are there no single rooms??

WitchesofPainswick · 01/05/2025 14:50

If you really hate it, then just book a nearby hotel room and join them when you want to do so. That's fine - no drama!

Strangeworldtoday · 01/05/2025 14:50

I would share with my cousins and sister, would quite like it, but we are all close and seasoned travellers.
Can see why you would want a space to retreat to with a whole week with family, it's nice to have a space for down time. Is the house big enough you can find a quiet corner when you want to be alone?

Helloworlditsmeagain · 01/05/2025 14:52

Tangw · 01/05/2025 14:00

Sharing at 18/19 and a student? Not so much of a problem. Sharing at 27? Bit weird

Solution is a bigger property, but this was declined by others.

If you tell them that you will pay they will probably change their mind. I think you're weird for asking the question.

shockthemonkey · 01/05/2025 14:57

YANBU especially if it’s always down to you to share.

Request you get a break from sharing, someone else can step in

Wishboneswishes · 01/05/2025 14:59

Not weird I don’t think. I went away with two gfs and we shared a room - we’re all in our 50s.
If you don’t want to share a room then book a hotel room or Air bnb just for you. You can spend days at the house then sleep in your own room.

Hollietree · 01/05/2025 15:01

I go on holidays/spa trips with friends every year. We all share twin rooms and we are all in our 40s.

But if you don’t like sharing a room that’s fine. Either don’t go. Or book yourself your own hotel room nearby.

CrownCoats · 01/05/2025 15:03

I completely agree OP. They’re treating you like a child. Tell them it’s someone else’s turn to share.

Itiswhysofew · 01/05/2025 15:05

Are you both still the youngest in the group?

What are the dynamics? All couples?

Is there a sofa bed in the property?

Commonsense22 · 01/05/2025 15:07

OP I understand you and as an adult single it's always unpleasant to be treated like a child.
I'd rent my own seperate room.

EastGrinstead · 01/05/2025 15:08

Tangw · 01/05/2025 14:00

Sharing at 18/19 and a student? Not so much of a problem. Sharing at 27? Bit weird

Solution is a bigger property, but this was declined by others.

It's perfectly okay to not want to share a room.

However, there is nothing weird about sharing a room at 27.

lalaloopyhead · 01/05/2025 15:10

I don't think I would have too much of an issue sharing, assuming room mate is closeish in age and you get on?. I'd happily share with my sister but might be a bit more awkward with Great Aunty Barbara.

I think the thing is in families (or at least in ours) the youngest generation remain the children - we went away for a family trip and my kids and their cousins all shared an attic style room that had 8 beds! They are 1 male & 5 female and range from 17 - 25, they had a great time.

80smonster · 01/05/2025 15:11

Don’t go? Then there are enough rooms?

user1492757084 · 01/05/2025 15:12

Bring a pop out tent and camp bed.
Put it up in the back yard, Op.

Or drive there in a small hire campervan.
The rest of the family want to retain the house so you will have to stay by yourself at a nearby Motel if you can't work out a way to stay at the house.