To not want to share a room at age 27?

[Tangw]

Every year, our extended family rents a big house and we spend a week together. Always rent the same house.

Growing up, I have always had to share a room with a younger female relative. This hasn’t happened for a number of years because usually someone in the family can’t come for whatever reason, so me or the relative gets to have the spare room.

This year, everyone can make it which is great. But that means that I have to share a bedroom for the week. AIBU to not want to share at this age?

Dont go then - or stay somewhere else - surely thats the answer?!

You don’t want to share so just tell them that they either get a bigger place or you won’t be going.

I don’t think it’s weird at all to share on a holiday (yes even at 27.. I am older). I have done it with both friends and family plenty of times.

I'd rather not share a room (at 40, if that matters) but I would do in your situation. I don't think it's unreasonable for the group to expect you to share but if you don't want to go then obviously that's down to you.

Can you set up a blow-up bed in a reception room and pack it up each morning?

ETA we have a holiday let which sleep 10 people in 4 bedrooms so people always share; they are generally just pleased that all the beds can be split into singles.

If you add a single room supplement to the price you pay that might get around a larger property being more expensive.

I don't see the problem. It is only for a week. I share a room with my mum when we stay in hotels (for a week at a time) and I am in my 40s.

I agree that age doesn't really come in to it. My sister did the Camino de Santiago last year at the age of 60. Lots of room sharing. I, on the other hand, hate room sharing (except for DH), so in your place, OP, I would probably decline.

I’m 50 and sometimes go on breaks with uni friends. We always get twin rooms ‘cos we’re cheap!

It does depend on the other person’s habits though. I happily share with certain friends but my SIL, who likes to get up v. early even on holiday wouldn’t be a good roommate for me. 😂

I wouldn’t share either. So either find somewhere bigger, or you book a hotel room, or don’t go.

I don’t see a problem sharing. Especially if it reduced costs. My mum is off on holiday with a friend next week and they have a twin- they’re 70.

presumably a bigger place will significantly increase the cost which may be why no one else wants to. Have you offered to cover the difference? Find some properties and see if they change their minds if offered a bigger/better place for the same money.

otherwise just don’t go? Or find a hotel nearby.

I don't think age is relevant but if what you mean is that your parents have always paid for you (when others are paying for themselves) then yes, I think it should be you that had to share with your female relative (who I presume is also not paying for herself).

If you’re paying your share of the rental and you’re willing to pay an increased share to have a property with enough rooms for you not to share, reasonable.

if you’re not paying, or don’t think you should pay more in order not to share, unreasonable.

Why is sharing an issue lol
Just share

Are you paying your share? Or is someone else paying your share?

Are you paying the full cost of a room or getting a discount for sharing?

My cousin & I are in our 50's and have shared a couple of times over the last few years, it's not ideal but sometimes it's the best option for the holiday you want. If it's a deal breaker and you can't sort/afford an alternative then you'll just have to give it a miss.

It doesn't really matter what others think or what they woukd do. It's what you are comfortable with.

I would never share a room. On weekends away with friends I always book and pay for my own room.

Either stay In. A local hotel and meet up with them. Or don't go. It's very simple.

What is the set up @Tangw

twin beds? bunk beds? sharing a bed? ensuite?

how is the cost spread out?

I am sensing you are feeling like you have been given a seat at the children's table aged 27?

I used to have to share with (female) work colleagues when I was 27. You sound a bit precious...

Why is it you, specifically, that takes the hit of having to share? Are there other relatives who could theoretically share just as easily as you? Are you always expected to be the ones who deal with this because you are the youngest two females?

YANBU to expect the same kind of respect for your privacy as any other adult. Generally adults aren't expected to share bedrooms with people who aren't their spouse, partner or dependent child, unless they are in prison or in the military

I would message the family saying something like "Oh dear well then it looks like I can't come after all as I am too old to find sleepovers more fun than having a bedroom I can consider my own. I love these holidays together but I will only be able to come when the arrangements are such that I can have my own room. Maybe we could look for a house with more bedrooms for next time?"

If they do get a bigger house, you should of course be bearing the financial consequences for this - it is reasonable for anyone who has a solo private room to pay more than someone who is sharing (though not double - a 40% uplift is reasonable) - or if there is a patriarch/martiarch who is funding this for everyone, you can certainly offer to assist with the increased costs of a house that has enough bedrooms for everyone.

You're an adult so there is a choice.

If you are paying the same as everyone else, you get a say the same as everyone else.

If you are not paying, you can choose to share for free or look and pay for other accomodation.

Went on a 3 day London break .Shared with my Friends Cousin, met her a few times before .No biggie had a lovely time and was pleased I went (in my forties at the time!)

I wouldn't share a sleeping space either op, but I would just find another nearby place that suited me or not go.

I'm currently on a Narrowboat and I'm sleeping top and tail with a friend on a sofa bed.

Meh I wouldn’t be bothered. I share with mates and family members sometimes at 30. You’re still a ‘kid’ in the wider family at 27.

I’m still a kid in my wider family and I’m married with my own home!