To not want to share a room at age 27?

[Tangw]

Every year, our extended family rents a big house and we spend a week together. Always rent the same house.

Growing up, I have always had to share a room with a younger female relative. This hasn’t happened for a number of years because usually someone in the family can’t come for whatever reason, so me or the relative gets to have the spare room.

This year, everyone can make it which is great. But that means that I have to share a bedroom for the week. AIBU to not want to share at this age?

I’m presuming you’re not paying for the accommodation. You have been offered a holiday. You can choose to accept or decline. There is nothing intrinsically weird about sharing a room at any age.

Sharing rooms when staying in holiday accommodation is hardly unusual. Most people can't afford for everyone to have their own room. I think you're being a bit precious.

In my experience, couples pretty much always share two people to a room, even when they sleep in separate rooms when at home!

In some instances, when they decide they do need separate rooms (e.g because of snoring or some other inability to share a room) then they generally pay for two rooms so they have a room each rather than paying for one room to share.

Agreed. I'm in my 50s.

My dd is 35..in recent years has shared a room with a db 25 years younger. And a bed with teen dsis...
The holiday is the key to happiness not the bedrooms ime!!

Oh my god, that sounds awful!! 😂 On a narrowboat with your friend's feet in your face!! Why top and tailing? Just sleep next to each other!

Have you asked whether anyone else would mind swapping rooms and sharing instead or is it all couples? Sooner or later, you or young relative might want to bring a partner and then the house won't be sufficient anymore anyway. If you otherwise enjoy the family holidays and there is nobody else who could share, I would share or pay to stay nearby. Otherwise, just let the family know that you are not comfortable sharing rooms, so if that's the only option you will give this year a miss.

YANBU to not want to, OP. The question is what do you do about it if others aren’t prepared to rent a different house? I’m not sure if it makes much difference whether you’re supposed to be chipping into the cost or not. Your options are still - suck it up, kick up a fuss and see if anyone else is prepared to give up their room and share, or just not go (and not chip in to the cost if you were going to). I suppose if you aren’t being asked to chip in, you could offer to do so if they will look for another place.

I can see how this sort of situation comes about. Sometimes sucking it up to keep all the rest that comes with it - family tradition, familiarity, nostalgia and the ease of things being the same - can be worth a little discomfort. But sometimes you’re just past that and everyone else being stuck in the rut because the situation evolved when they were already grown and pretty set on what they were doing and don’t want to see that you are no longer the little girl you were when this arrangement was started (and presumably neither is your room mate). And then it’s time to kick up a bit of a stink so you get listened to or find out how much you’re valued.

I wouldn’t want to share. Is anyone else sharing a room? If not, why not?

This. 25 years ago I went on a skiing holiday with some friends who had invited loads of their friends and I was sharing with a woman I didn't know.

Nutshell, we had an absolute blast the pair of us and we are still friends to this day. Just do it. It might be fun.

How is decided who shares? Can you say it's someone else's turn to share?

I'm in my sixties and go away with friends/family often. If at all possible I prefer my own room with big bed and an en-suite but that's not always possible and I have to share. It's no big deal for a few days.

I get you, I would share with a friend/family member for 2-3 nights but wouldn't want to share for a week, I'd be dying for my own space back by the end.

If I really wanted to go on the trip otherwise though I'd do it

Blimey I’m in my 60’s and shared several times with friends/my cousin over the last few years.
Surely if you like them enough to go on holiday with them then you are okay sharing. If you don’t really like them why are you going on the holiday?

My mind is blown that anyone who has gone through puberty wants to go on holiday with their parents!

I imagine everyone else is sharing. On holiday it's normal to book accomodation

If everyone else has a room per person, and you are being expected to share -obviously that's not on. But if everyone else is sharing a 2 person room between 2, then it follows that you should expect to do so too.

If other people are getting a two person room all to themselves or a single room to themselves, and it's practicable for them to be the sharers instead (for example two other women or two other men who are friends/related/compatible and without any medical reasons for them not to) then it's reasonable for them to take a turn to share and for you and your cousin to take their rooms.

What is it, apart from snoring, that people would find difficult about sharing with a person of the same sex? You can always change in the bathroom if you're self-conscious. If you're both a similar age you're likely to have stuff to talk about. And you're both old enough to show the basic courtesies like knocking on the room door before walking in and not asking questions if someone asks you wait for five minutes. Or not to go crashing into a room where someone's gone to bed early, turning on the light and making a load of noise. If you could share at the age of 25, why can't you share at the age of 27?

Come on, we all know couples get their own room as a couple, single person can put up with anything because they don't count.

I can't get my head around wanting to go, but assuming I did I would be saying in the strongest terms "I am a grown adult and I want a PLEASANT HOLIDAY and not a school dormitory experience. Do you care for me and respect me enough to facilitate this, or not?"

I wouldn’t share a room with anyone other than DH. I want to fart and snore in peace. You wouldn’t be unreasonable not going because you want your own space.

They might get annoyed if I stay up til 3 am watching TV in bed.

Farting.
It is more pleasant not to change in the bathroom
Privacy is always good.
I don;t want a chatty sleepover as an adult?
It is unfair the couples get rooms perfect for them, whilst I don;t
I want to be able to go to bed whenever I feel like it without having to be quiet
I want to be able to strip off for a shower in the middle of the day without worrying about someone coming in.

etc
etc

It's a holiday. It's supposed to be fun and indulgent and relaxing, not making do.

Many of us simply want our own space to retreat to, to sleep without someone else's snoring/fidgeting/god knows what else, to have space for our luggage and our clothing, and just to relax.

If none of that matters, why can't couples put an airbed in their room and let the solo person bunk in with them, to save even more space? That could really cut down on the size of the villa needed and save plenty of money!

Which is fine, as long as you're paying adequately towards it.

One household to a room is reasonable, whether that household consist of a solo person, a married couple, parents with kids, sisters, whatever.

Expecting solo people to sleep with someone they rarely see and aren't living with just because the organizers want to shove two warm bodies into a room is absurd. Solos aren't second-class who deserve less privacy than other people.

Surely couples get their own room because it's normally a double bed? If op is upset about sharing a room I highly doubt she'd be happy sharing a bed 😂

Also the idea of a different may have been rejected due to the current property now holding alot of memories it sounds like they've been going for near on 10 years?

Op nothing wrong with sharing a room, however if you're not comfortable then maybe a blow up in the lounge or tent?

I don't find it particularly weird to be honest. I'm in my 30's and shared a room with friends on a couple of hen dos last year and will be sharing with my sister at a family weekend away as DH and my children aren't coming... is the issue sharing or are you single and generally treated unfairly because of it? (I've seen this happen in some families where child free and/or single relatives are treated as afterthoughts and can see why it could be annoying to share if its part of a wider pattern of behaviour).