Close friends / relatives that you thought would love your child - just have no interest…

[Amiwrongamiright]

Have you ever been in a position where you feel a little disappointed with close people in your life who you thought would adore your children, just have no interest at all to be in their life?

This situation has been playing on my mind on and off for a few years. One of my closest friends, as in each others maid of honour and went to school and uni together close. Has shown very little interest in my DC since about 2/3 weeks old. I don’t expect constant checking in, I don’t expect much. But they’ve only met my DC once or twice in 3 years and never ask to see them, don’t send a card or text on their birthday. Will ask generic “how’s so and so” out of politeness when we meet (in evenings so not with DC)

Ive noticed a shift in our friendship too

They are childfree by choice right now and want kids Iater on. Just in case anyone asks . No fertility issues or wanting babies yet,

I haven’t mentioned anything to her. And probably won’t. I also understand the whole your children aren’t as important to you as others etc, I think I’m just secretly deep down sad.

This is an expectation only ever put on women, by women. Men aren't expected to coo over their mates new baby, and women shouldn't be either, we aren't all baby mad!

You're lucky. I'm also childfree by choice, and although I'm post-menopause now, back in the day people used to take great pleasure in shoving baby pics under my nose and plonking babies in my arms on the very mistaken assumption that I'd suddenly be 'transformed' and become desperately broody in the blink of an eye. It was never going to happen.

My IL liked DC as a baby but lost interest about aged four. Sadly Godmother went non-contact when she got married even though we see her parents regularly. My IL pretty much have nothing to do with DC now at all.

Of course we can't understand it.

I'm less bothered about old friends. Why should they care about my kid? I FB with friends and we give advice or mention kids but otherwise we have little contact.

I’m really not interested in other people’s children and don’t expect them to be interested in mine beyond very close family.

It wouldn’t occur to me to ask to see a friend’s child. I’m happy to see them and happy to spend time with them but it would be as a byproduct of seeing my friend.

I thought I'd be close to my nieces, but DB and DSIL were like hawks when visiting.
They'd double check everything and it was more a chore to be around the kids.

It's meant I see them less as just not worth the bother.

I get your point and it is an unhappy feeling when people you are so fond of show no interest in your children - I also guarantee that if she has a baby she will act like she’s the first person in the world to ever have had a baby - I’ve had friends like this. Don’t waste your time worrying about it, you can’t change the situation.

I dont get people saying you can't love someone else's child. I do! And friends love mine! I love my goddaughter and her brother with all my heart. I think about them a lot, and cherish updates from their mum. Buy them little things I think they'll like and send them parcels on special occasions.