Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I took my daughter to a birthday party that she wasn’t invited to. Whoops.

203 replies

Browndoor25 · 25/04/2025 17:22

Let me start by saying I am having a tough time of it right now (think dog getting pts, flat tires, cat is on the verge of being pts, etc) and this week has been particularly hellish. I’m not telling you this to try and make you feel sorry for me, I am just trying to explain that I am going through a hard time so I am already feeling quite emotional and vulnerable and not very resilient which is why I reacted as I did.

I met up with a mum friend in the park yesterday and she said ‘X is having a birthday gathering at the beach tomorrow, X’s mum grabbed me today and said she is trying to catch everybody..’. Today X’s mum walked past me at drop off and I was expecting her to tell me about the birthday gathering but she didn't say anything to me, which I thought was odd. I thought maybe she knew that my friend had told me although I messaged my friend saying ‘are you sure we are invited as x’s mum didn’t say anything?’. She said ‘Yeah she said she was trying to catch everyone, she’s maybe thinking she had already told you, I can’t imagine she’d invite some kids and not others cause they’ve all been talking about it at nursery’. So along to the birthday we go, I get there and they look surprised to see me and said ‘we didn’t really invite the younger ones but you are welcome to stay and have some cake’. I instantly felt mortified but probably an overreaction on my part.

I went and sat along the beach where my friend was and some of the other kids were playing. I told my friend and she apologised and felt bad for us. I told her it was fine but I felt really awkward. It’s a village nursery so only twenty kids go, and she invited ten out of the twenty however two of the kids only started on Monday so it feels like she invited more than half of the class if you know what I mean. My daughter has been in nursery with her daughter since August and we knew each other beforehand through other birthday parties, village Xmas parties and toddler groups. We are friendly and usually say hi in passing so I was a little bit hurt, especially when another friend turned up with her little girl who is actually younger than my daughter and only started the nursery in Xmas. I guess it’s up to them who they have at the party but I was already feeling rubbish so this has been the cherry to top it off. My friend said I should have gone up to their beach hut to get a coffee and mingle but I honestly couldn’t face all those people with how I was feeling so I let my daughter have a little play on the beach for an hour then headed off.

OP posts:
Calliopespa · 28/05/2025 08:45

Browndoor25 · 25/04/2025 17:36

I don’t want to make my friend look bad though. 😬

Well I think you can minimise that by saying she thought you WERE supposed to have been invited - which only goes to show how utterly hapless the actual hostess really was in getting this thing off the ground.

Honestly so poor of her to make you feel awkward once you got there. Please don’t feel any of this is on you op.

Calliopespa · 28/05/2025 08:51

WiddlinDiddlin · 28/04/2025 04:28

Of course it is..

But then if you'd invited 10 out of 20, why on earth would you say you'd invited 'everyone' and do the invites by telling people you're inviting everyone and getting them to pass that message on?

And, let’s be honest, why would you only invite ten out of twenty in a village nursery to THE BEACH !!? It’s not like she was shouting them each to a West End production or treating them to a kids menu at a chain restaurant, or even soft play entry.

samthepigeon · 21/09/2025 09:17

Alongtoe · 25/04/2025 19:24

d) making sure you make sure you repeat how vulnerable and delicate you are ie don’t anyone dare criticise me

I think the d just means 'bloody hell, everything rubbish is happening all at the same time.' I didn't read it as a sympathy vote.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page