Realised I'm old and ugly

[Ilovemeggy38]

I have just seen some
photos of me taken on a night out, I had taken lots of care to look my best.
I'm 55 thought I looked okay, was actually quite happy as I have lost weight, got on hrt, starting taking vitamins and collagen.
But, those pictures 😞
I have the dreaded marrionette lines, I look miserable! And I'm not!
My hair looks thin and straggly, I have shoulder length hair and my Gosh the picture just shows my scalp at the front and so, so thin😞
I have strange fat deposits over my eyes which makes my eyes look small.
My neck has weird fat deposits which make it look strange.
I have tried to say it's just a bad picture but looking back over recent photos I can see I have aged badly.
I have just sat down with the picture and cried.
I feel so ugly, so removed from what I actually thought I looked like.
I'm really upset as my looks, my appearance is important to me for my own self worth.
I just look about ten years older, not even that, I look unhealthy in the pictures, really not what I see in the mirror.
My OH took the pictures on his iPhone, it is definitely high Res so every line, fault, has shown up but that's me in real life I suppose.

Yeah it's a bit upsetting isn't it?
I look stonkingly bad in lots of photos. But people still seek out my company, so I must be doing something right. Hope you can make your peace though. Most people who love us don't care at all how we look.

I bet it's just a bad picture, we all have them. I've got some horrible photos of me and could cringe!
55 is no way old and when you say you're ugly that's just your perception based on a few bad photos and won't be an absolute true representation of you. Please try not to worry, I'm sure you looked nice

I feel your pain OP.

I feel this too and have marionette lines. I'm 64 - it's terrible. I am unrecognisable from even my 40's. I guess it's just age and it comes to us all - I suspect relied on my looks a bit too much and now it's all gone. You are not alone at all I think many women feel this way.

Solidarity. I actively avoid looking in mirrors these days. The last few years of stress have shown up recently all over my face. Wouldn't dare go out without make up, I'd scare the horses.

But I've recently been told I have a nice smile, and honestly, cameras DO lie. In fact they psychologically torture us for sport I reckon. I can guarantee we actually look beautiful to those who love us and who truly matter x

So, I see you - and you look fine to me 😘

I think there's a middle ground here . The reality is we are all ageing and don't have the inclination or resources for celebrity level efforts. Also don't forget we live in this insane society of fantasy lives online.

But there's some easy steps, a good hairstyle/cut/colour (if your thing), wardrobe update, wearing best colours etc., strength training (great for neck!).

If your husband is anything like mine he has unintentially taken the absolute worst photo he could possibly take. I don't bother asking dh to take my photo any more as he always manages to make me look like an aged hippo on crack.

Can you just do some simple things like face yoga and get a laser treatment? We invest time in our hair and body but seem to avoid any interventions for our face however minor

This! Don't trust those photos OP!!!

Sorry posted before I finished. I’m going through the same OP, I’ve always been attractive and up until the age of about 53 was wearing pretty well, but post menopause it’s all dramatically fallen off a cliff, my hair always been fine but lots of it and it was mirror shiny, now it’s just lank, thin yet frizzy at the same time, I have developed jowls overnight, lines at the corner of my mouth which make me look miserable even when I’m not, my eyelids are drooping which makes it hard to put make up on, and don’t even get me started on my neck, that’s just a few thing off the top of my head and yes it’s making me thoroughly miserable, it’s on my mind all the time, nothing I do makes me look good anymore, it’s really upsetting. Solidarity.

I have felt like this in the past which also gave me a punch in the gut with a reminder of mortality. You might be in a different era, but you're not old and you're not ugly.

Cameras these day pick out every single bloody flaw. I do miss the days of disposable cameras and even digital cameras. Every shot had a nicer hue and softer focus, probably the modern equivalent of rose tinted glasses.

I have really "old lady hands". Seriously, the skin is like tissue paper. And I have acquired some pretty hideous varicose veins on my legs in the past 2 years. But, oh well.

Maybe this saying is overdone but aging is a privilege, and I do remind myself of that regularly.

When we were in our 20s we had insecurities we'd scoff at now, and in our 70s we will feel the same about our 40s, 50s etc

It's okay to be sad and mourn a little but I bet you're lovely and all your friends and family think you are too. And congratulations on the weight loss.

Ps. Regards the thinning hair, do have a look into some hair oils for growth. I have been quite religious with it and have got lots of new growth around my hairline in only a couple of months.

Biotin supplements for hair and a red light face mask. Invest in some nice make up, esp a good foundation. But remember we can all be our worst critic.

Did he take any video? If so, compare the photo to that and you’ll see that you look fab really.

(Also - facial yoga is great for marionette lines!)

I am a similar age, a little older. I don’t look as good as I used to but I had two friends die over the last couple of years that were my age at 53 and 54 so I think fuck it I’m being ridiculous.

I would give up my aching back though.

Marionette lines are ageing yet they are one of the things that are easy to erase with a bit of filler and make a huge difference.

Aw, we're just older. It was a bad pic. Bet you're still gorgeous in person.

@lostinthesunshineplease tell me more about the facial yoga!! I have terrible marionette lines and hate photos of myself.

Ah the curse of the camera! Please don't think this is 'you'. It takes a snap shot moment whereas when people see you they see sparkling glints in your eyes, wide smiles, lovely personality etc. When you speak to people look them in the eye and smile and that's all they'll see, people don't notice/care about what we consider 'imperfections', it's all just normal. (I'm finding the hair thing difficult though but various Kerastase products have really improved how I feel about it).

I get it, tho I try to focus on my top half, which is ok, reasonable hair, and stuff.
Have mid stage Parkinson’s, my gait not great, weaker right side too,and due to foot issues, ugly trainer like shoes, not really me, tho safe.
I remind myself, I’ve had lovely shoes and looks, and at nearly 63, have to accept my reality, if I hadn’t I might be bitter

@Ilovemeggy38 Only now? I think I realised that I'm ugly when I was about 14 or 15.

Thank you all, thank so much for your replies!
I was just feeling so rubbish, so down on these pictures, I know we are not our face etc but it does hit you and it does make you feel rubbish.
I am definitely in the mindset my looks are not the Bee alll and end all! I have lots of life that looks, do not come into it.
Thank you for all saying I'm not unusual in this.
Just felt a bit rubbish tonight because of those pics
I have deleted them and onwards and upwards.
Hopefully I can take some of myself, on my own camera where I like myself.
Thank you all. Xxx

Oh I love this reply, thank you x

Love this, thank you x

I wish I could bring myself to get some filler but the risk (although very small) of blindness utterly terrifies me, I’ve convinced myself that I would be that one in a million case 😔

I have a friend that I have to take tons of photos to get onevthat looks like her. For some reason she usually looks like she has a potato face in photos but never in real life