Realised I'm old and ugly

[Ilovemeggy38]

I have just seen some
photos of me taken on a night out, I had taken lots of care to look my best.
I'm 55 thought I looked okay, was actually quite happy as I have lost weight, got on hrt, starting taking vitamins and collagen.
But, those pictures 😞
I have the dreaded marrionette lines, I look miserable! And I'm not!
My hair looks thin and straggly, I have shoulder length hair and my Gosh the picture just shows my scalp at the front and so, so thin😞
I have strange fat deposits over my eyes which makes my eyes look small.
My neck has weird fat deposits which make it look strange.
I have tried to say it's just a bad picture but looking back over recent photos I can see I have aged badly.
I have just sat down with the picture and cried.
I feel so ugly, so removed from what I actually thought I looked like.
I'm really upset as my looks, my appearance is important to me for my own self worth.
I just look about ten years older, not even that, I look unhealthy in the pictures, really not what I see in the mirror.
My OH took the pictures on his iPhone, it is definitely high Res so every line, fault, has shown up but that's me in real life I suppose.

Looking at camera images can almost give you dysphoria. Stick with the mirror or images in correct soft light.

Also, sorry to say it but some guys are very lazy with a camera, they’ll make no effort to flatter with it (the whole point, lol)

I'm 47 and looked at recent pics/videos my husband took . I was shocked at some of themTBH! I've asked him if I looked like that "in real life",and he said no of course (poor guy,what else could he say....?).
My hair is greying big time, I need a haircut my nose is becoming more prominent,my eyes are getting smaller and I've got the dreaded corner of the mouth lines...

I'm considering a good haircut/highlights and maybe some fillers. I don't have the money for any of that but I feel that would help me feel much better!

Reading this thread..isn’t it sad, the crap we have put into women’s heads. All the self hatred.

Our value is beyond what society has drilled into us as important

You are still relatively young and not post menopausal, I too thought I was ageing very well until my fifties hit, ageing has not kicked in for you yet.

I bet you aren’t at all ugly - I would be willing to bet that you are like the rest of us - normal looking, not bad, just normal. But the world
tells us that normal isnt good enough - but in reality normal is perfect.

If it helps without make up I look like a water buffalo.

I sat in the hairdressers today, could have cried looking in the mirror. Saggy face and neck, dark circles round my eyes, greying hair..( box dye came out tonight! )
I looked 'young' until menopause..now it's caught up with me with a vengeance. Only good thing is my teeth, they still look nice.

That's always the case @wastingtimeonhere

Oh god, my picture is on MN! Outed! 😂

It's the crepey throat. I look like a turtle reaching for a lettuce leaf. Not that would ever reach for a lettuce leaf,obvs,which may be part of the problem.

Yep, it's a real shocker🫣. Mind you, even since I was young and told I was a looker, (I never believed it), I've hated looking at myself in the mirror and photos. Now I'm old and looking every bit of it, I definitely avoid the mirror and photos!

I'm trying to.accept that it's just normal to change as you age; some better than others, but that's just how it is.

Never moaning about my hair again - so bloody thick it takes ages to wash, dry and straighten but afyer reading this thread, l will embrace its volume.

So many other things l can still moan about but l am what l am, can only make the best of what l've got.

I’m comparing myself to some of my peers. I haven’t got grey hair or wrinkles beyond the few around my eyes when I smile that I’ve always had. I’m aware it won’t last forever but I’ve had an easy ride so far…

Oh my god me too!!! & like it was a curse being a DJ so photos a plenty... botox & fillers have made my life so much easier

Couldn't agree more. Well in to my late 40s, I thought that I was an anomaly, that I'd escaped ageing and I'd lucked out genetically. Now at 53, I can categorically say oh how naive I was!!!

Same here - photo from an evening out the other day. Someone said to me 'everyone looked nice in the photo ' meaning everyone was smiling, looking at the camera.

I agreed but really was thinking that I looked fat and frizzy haired.

I do think I look better in some pics.

Same for me. I look at pics of me on my 50th, and I looked pretty good. By the time I was 53 it had all gone to shit : my eyes had hooded, my under eye circles were horrific and my neck looked 100. I could not believe the difference in just 3 years. As for the pp that mentioned 42 - you're still in your prime at 42, it's nothing compared to the mid 50's. I had a face and neck lift, upper and lower bleph. It's made a huge difference.

Shit really? I’m 48 so ive got 5 good years in me? Better make the most of it 😀

to be fair there is something about hairdressers mirrors, maybe the lighting. I have always looked like an aging escaped convict in them even in my 20s.

I had something similar happen to me two years ago. My kids took photos of me at my birthday barbecue and I cried when I saw them. I’ve been slim most of my life but had piled on over 4 stone in menopausal weight. The creeping on of weight was so slow and insidious I barely noticed it. Realised my clothes were getting tighter and started buying larger sizes but was still in denial. My birthday photos were the last straw though. I went on a diet, hit the gym, changed my hairdresser, started taking better care of my skin and have managed a significant amount of improvement. I realised that when this happens we only have 2 choices. Accept it or change it. I chose the latter. Still not happy when I look in the mirror now but realise I look better than I did and I’m not going down without a fight lol. You can make small changes (I use coloured hair spray in my scalp to hide the thinning hair and use small augments of clip in extensions to give it more volume at the front. I know it’s a lot if facing about but it makes me feel more confident. Apart from that I think about all my friends who weren’t even lucky enough to get to my age (I’m almost 60) and just try to focus on staying as healthy as possible. Ageing for women isn’t fun but it’s a lot better than the alternative!!!

Still photos are harsh because people actually see you in movement - if your DH had taken a video you’d look better.

If the marionette lines are really bothering you then you then you could get them fixed

Well, yeah, but the OP’s point is she’s lost weight and gone on HRT, so she can’t do the makeover you are suggesting.

I clicked on the thread to commiserate OP (same age as you), but I've had a great laugh and cheered up! But the hairdresser photo cracked me up the most because that is EXACTLY what I see in the hairdresser's mirror. I do not know how I can look in the mirror at home and think I look OK, then go for a haircut and look approx 100 years older, massively pissed off and like I've escaped from a zoo.

I've had about 3 photos taken of me in my life that I actually liked so I'm used to seeing awful ones, but the worst was a few years ago when I went to a friend's wedding and loved having a dance to the nostalgic 80s and 90s hits being played. Friend then sent me photos of me on the dancefloor. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is who came to mind.

https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/monstersincmovies/images/4/43/Roz.png/revision/latest?cb=20130515201331

Sure it was unintentional?

🤣🤣🤣🤣