Would you pay back £11?

[StolenChanel]

I went out to an event recently with a non-close friend. We used to work together and thought we’d catch up as it was something we’re both interested in. We’re not close but friendly and always got along well. I paid for the tickets on my card and it was only £11. She said “send me your bank details so I can pay you back” and I did. A week has since passed and she still hasn’t paid me back. It’s only £11 so I haven’t chased it but honestly I’m a bit miffed. We both work in the same industry so I know we’re on similar salaries, (which really isn’t very high but also not very low either) but she is far more financially comfortable than I am. Her husband has a high paying job, her in laws do their childcare and she owns properties that she rents out. I, on the other hand, budget very tightly for each month and, with the cost of living and school holiday, this month’s budget has run through far quicker than usual.

I’m not going to bother chasing her for it as I’m not completely flat out (yet) and get paid in a few days anyway, but I’m just wondering if it’s normal to not pay someone back for something this small?

YANBU = she should have paid back
YABU = it’s only £11, get over it.

I’d still chase it.

Just message her? She might have forgotten.

I'd send a nice friendly message with my bank details

Slippery slope. £11 or 11 pence or £111, it's still money she owes you.

If she never gives it back, at least you know NEVER to lend her any money again. If she asks, say 'no, you never gave me the last lot back that you borrowed off me!'

Yes, I would pay it back. It’s obviously niggling you, else you wouldn’t start this thread. Just send her a friendly text on Tuesday (ie, after Easter) with a reminder. It’s probably one of those five minute jobs she hasn’t got around to, or she’s waiting for payday.

I already did that and she didn’t respond! I even messaged her again about something unrelated in the hope that she’d see the previous message and remember, but she replied to that and not the one with my bank details.

I feel silly chasing it (and, honestly a bit embarrassed) and I’m just hoping she suddenly realises. It’s not earth shattering but it’s the difference between me saying yes and no when the kids ask for an ice cream or something when we’re out and about.

She's probably just forgotten. Friendly reminder text will hopefully get her to send it. Honestly just message her.

Ahh that’s an awkward one. I’d always pay it back, I hate the thought of owing someone and someone thinking I’m being cheeky! But at the same time if I was in your shoes I wouldn’t chase for £11 because I’d feel like I was being petty

It’s important to you so don’t feel bad about reminding her.

Either that or chalk it up to experience and never front her again!

I would assume she forgot and probably remind her. Just send a text, "I didn't get the £11 for Saturday yet, can you check you sent it to the correct account please? Xxxxxx yyyyyyyyy. Thanks"

“Hi Shaz, did you send me that money yet? Just checking cos it hasn’t arrived. Hope you had a nice Easter”

This is completely up to you to decide how to tackle. I have different sorts of friendships with different people - there’s some I would chase and those I wouldn’t. Some of my friends are petty in that they would chase pennies but often not pay themselves. Other friends are easy going and we cover each other without keeping tally. So I’d tackle this differently depending on the friend.

A good reflection point might be, how was the outing? Would you see her again? If not, you have nothing to lose by giving her a reminder.

You don’t have to go in all guns blazing and immediately ask for the funds, you could go in soft and mention the money once you’re a few messages in.

I'd definitely ask again, tell her what you said here, that you need it for treats for the kids. She's obviously a lot better off than you and probably doesn't think £11 is a big deal because she's never been cash strapped. Hopefully it's just slipped her mind

Yes send something like this. I’d always pay something like that back but also I am forgetful so it could take me a while too sometimes if I don’t do it immediately, and would appreciate (although feel bad) about the reminder.

Ah that's rubbish. You shouldn't feel bad for chasing it though, she's clearly not feeling bad about owing it when you've reminded her.

She’s a Tight Wad

Yes I'd pay back £11, and I'd want to be reminded about it if I'd forgotten. Give her a nudge. If you don't get anywhere, chalk it up as a reminder never to lend to her again.

Let it go, she’s cheeky but you’ll be much happier if you forget about it because it’s one of those things where it isn’t actually about the money anymore but about them being rude.

She’s trying to wait until you forget about it

I’m wondering if she’s thinking she shouldn’t pay because she drove us to the event? It was about an hour away from where we both live. In which case was I the cheeky one for not just saying “I’ll get the tickets as you drove”?

Why should OP forget about it though? It’s the principle of it. Plus, this is enabling CFs! It feeds them

£11 is a lot if you don’t have it.

A shop wouldn’t let you have something worth £2 for free so why should she get away not paying back £11.

I would definitely pay it back and would feel awful if I needed a follow up reminder.

Have you got a different bank account? Maybe message and say, “Actually could you please send it to XXX account instead please?” That’s a prompt again for her but not like you’re nagging.

She probably just hasn't got around to it yet? In my group of friends, unless it's a lot of money - over £100 ISH - we might take a couple of weeks to do a transfer.

I just feel it’s really not worth getting in a tizz about. If she drove you there an hour each way even more so!

I don’t think you’re wrong to have asked though if she offered.