Would you pay back £11?

[StolenChanel]

I went out to an event recently with a non-close friend. We used to work together and thought we’d catch up as it was something we’re both interested in. We’re not close but friendly and always got along well. I paid for the tickets on my card and it was only £11. She said “send me your bank details so I can pay you back” and I did. A week has since passed and she still hasn’t paid me back. It’s only £11 so I haven’t chased it but honestly I’m a bit miffed. We both work in the same industry so I know we’re on similar salaries, (which really isn’t very high but also not very low either) but she is far more financially comfortable than I am. Her husband has a high paying job, her in laws do their childcare and she owns properties that she rents out. I, on the other hand, budget very tightly for each month and, with the cost of living and school holiday, this month’s budget has run through far quicker than usual.

I’m not going to bother chasing her for it as I’m not completely flat out (yet) and get paid in a few days anyway, but I’m just wondering if it’s normal to not pay someone back for something this small?

YANBU = she should have paid back
YABU = it’s only £11, get over it.

Damn it- missed the 2 hour drive update. If you would have got public transport otherwise, you’ve come out on top and should leave it. Although probably should have established that you buy the tickets and she’ll drive would be the deal before you went.

Yeah. I thought at the begging you were for sure in the rignt

but the fact she drove you an hour….yeah. I’d forget it then.

So you paid 11 for her ticket
You probably owe her about the same for driving
You paid for drinks
You paid for parking

She owes you for the ticket then, I think. But I probably would let it drop and not do anything with her again.

No I just wouldn’t have gone otherwise.

My apologies for the drip-feeding. I really didn’t see the driving as a big deal as she would have either been driving anyway or have come in my car if it hadn’t been in the garage. I would have just left it if she hadn’t said she’d drive.

But I don’t think I’ll chase it up though as she might be thinking I’m cheeky for not just saying “don’t worry about it” after she drove, which is fair! I wouldn’t have paid for the drinks and parking then though.

Going purely on your OP, I was going to say that, IF you were petty chasing 'only £11', then she was just as petty by avoiding paying it.

However, with your drip-feed, I think she might be being kind to you and not outright telling you that you're a CF, and she's just waiting for the penny to drop for you.

I still don't know why she wouldn't just laugh and say "Well considering I paid for the fuel and drove for the whole round-trip, I think we're more than quits, aren't we?!"

I would pay it back, because I can't bear to be indebted to others, and I worry that they might need that money for something (even if it's just a small amount).

I think it would be a bit cheeky to ask for the £11 now after she has driven you there - sorry!

I agree to be honest. I’ll leave it. Like I said, it’s not an earth shattering amount, it just wasn’t in my budget for the month. But perhaps the drive wasn’t in hers either.

That completely changes things, 2 hours total driving definitely cancels out the £11, she probably thinks you're being cheeky given the fuel costs you saved and is deliberately ignoring it.

So she drove but you paid for the drinks and parking, which seems like it should have covered at least your share there, so she can't fairly count that. She agreed to pay for her ticket and she hasn't in spite of already being reminded once.

I think I'd drop it but I'd also drop her. It's just got a ring of petty nastiness to it that would put me off to considering her for a closer friendship. Maybe it's money well spent, to see how annoying she is before you got more tangled up with her.

@StolenChanel your friend knows the drink and parking were to cover her giving you a lift.
So yes she owes you £11.
I think she's cheeky, she got a free evening out.
Yes she drove but would have done anyway if on her own.

Yes. ...always pay your debts it's so rude!
Say hey did you get the right account number as it's not showing in my bank yet? Just checking..

Maybe, if she hadn't asked for your bank details, which to me indicates she was planning to pay... Would the journey have used £22 of petrol? (cost of both tickets)?
Also, if she feels that way, why hasn't she said as much? ' sorry I was going to pay but then realised sharing the cost of the fuel covered the cost of the ticket so we are even'?

I would chase it as you have mentioned you paid for parking and drinks for you both. If she and you agreed she would pay for the tickets then she should do that. I would send her a reminder.

Yes, if she drove them you should have paid for the tockets, you are the CF here

How much was the working and drinks?

Tbh I probs wouldn’t chase it, if it was more defo, but it grinds my gears that you have to chase people that owe you money. They should have the courtesy to pay you back. You literally did them a favour, so having to chase someone for money is a bit CF imo. Whenever someone picks something up or books something I literally pay straight away.

Such a fuss about nothing.

Similar financial situation to yourself. I wouldn't have followed up on it before I read the drip feed, after the drip feed absolutely do not ask her for it. My rule of thumb is if I can't afford to go, I say no. So in this case you really couldn't afford to go and were relying on a lot of things to make it affordable for you.

If you paid for the drinks and the parking, and she paid for the fuel, she still owes you for the ticket IMO.

Unless I really needed it, I wouldn't chase up 11 pounds, no..

I hate being stuck in situations like this, I feel you!

£20 or more and I have no issue chasing multiple times (should I ever need to!) but anything less than £20 I feel more awkward asking for, even though I shouldn’t! But no matter how much the amount, the principle is there and she owes
you that money. It’s really frustrating that she hasn’t sent it yet!

So how much did you pay for drinks and parking? Yes she drove but is still up on money. This is why she has more money as she doesn't pay bills. Next time, get money up front and work out other costs as you go.

I'm going to a concert with a friend who I haven't met up with in years. She has booked parking and I have already transferred money so I know it's done. I said fill up your car before you leave and then fill it again on return and then tell me how much.

I think when she offered to give her bank details you should have said: don’t be daft, let’s call it quits because you’ve paid for petrol and parking.

That's possible but if only people would say what they mean instead of making you guess!
In your position I would want to draw a line under this. I'd message her saying: 'I sent you my bank details a while ago to settle up for the tickets, but I've just thought that you did the driving, so lets call it quits. See you soon.'