Would you pay back £11?

[StolenChanel]

I went out to an event recently with a non-close friend. We used to work together and thought we’d catch up as it was something we’re both interested in. We’re not close but friendly and always got along well. I paid for the tickets on my card and it was only £11. She said “send me your bank details so I can pay you back” and I did. A week has since passed and she still hasn’t paid me back. It’s only £11 so I haven’t chased it but honestly I’m a bit miffed. We both work in the same industry so I know we’re on similar salaries, (which really isn’t very high but also not very low either) but she is far more financially comfortable than I am. Her husband has a high paying job, her in laws do their childcare and she owns properties that she rents out. I, on the other hand, budget very tightly for each month and, with the cost of living and school holiday, this month’s budget has run through far quicker than usual.

I’m not going to bother chasing her for it as I’m not completely flat out (yet) and get paid in a few days anyway, but I’m just wondering if it’s normal to not pay someone back for something this small?

YANBU = she should have paid back
YABU = it’s only £11, get over it.

It's the Cost of Living Crisis. You may have to be more strategic:

Hold a Children's Birthday Party and invite her child.
Send her a WhatsApp telling her that her child is being held hostage and to push a brown envelop with £11 through the letterbox... or else.
Pray that she doesn't message back saying, 'you can keep him / her'.

There is risk involved. Draft up a mission statement and a full risk assessment.

I would chalk this one up to experience and never pay for anyone again, I don’t because sadly I can’t afford to not be paid back

She probably forgot and given it’s £11 I’d let it go.

Yes. I’d be a bit miffed driving that whole way and back then being sent your details for 11 piddling quid!

This completely changes things. If she drove an hour away I would just leave it as quits.

OP bought drinks and paid parking so she did her bit to pay back the driver. The point is, they agreed to sort money out for tickets and the friend hasn’t kept to the arrangement. If she wanted to exchange tickets for driving then she should have said that, not said ‘send me your bank details and I’ll pay’ but then not paid.

£11 is a little or a lot, depending on what you’ve got.

Send her a text saying that you hoped that she enjoyed the event

I agree it all equals out so no need to chase it up but it was the friend who asked for the bank details

She’s probably just forgot or not had 5 mins to set you up as a payee

Ok this is critical information… that’s exactly what you should have done.

Just say just in case you didn’t get the message with my bank details here they are again ttys x

Send her the payment message again.

I’m with you on this, OP. I had free school meals as I kid. Now I have a household income well into six figures. The latter hasn’t removed my sense of what’s decent behaviour. If I owe someone £4, £20, £50 - I repay it the same day or next day. Thinking about it, I even pay tradespeople the same day as their invoice. I never assume people can just afford to lose the money or that it’s my call to decide not to repay if they were kind enough to lend money.

I have a similar problem with clients! I find that pointing out that unfortunately while it may not be much money to them, I depend on it to be able to pay bills and buy food has them sending it immediately (I only say that to repeat offenders). I would be saying please can you pay me the money you owe me because I can't really afford to pay for others to attend things as I live to quite a tight budget.

Send something like ‘Hi could you send me the £11 please, I’m a bit short till payday’

Hmm this is a tricky one.

In answer to your question, yes I would pay someone £11 if they asked for it in the context you described.

However, she did drive. I guesstimate fuel costs at 10p per mile, so if your hour drive was 40 miles each way, say, then that's £8 in total and so you "owe" her £4.

Personally, in your position I would forget it (until the next time you have occasion to go out with her). But you could give it one more try - maybe say what you said in your post about getting ice creams for the kids?

Edit: hang on, you paid for drinks and parking. That does leave you out of pocket. Yeah chase it up. 😁

Doesn’t matter whether it’s £11, £110 or £11,000, it’s your money that she’s promised to pay back. It also doesn’t matter what either of you earns. The deal was that she’d pay it back.

@StolenChanel
Yanbu. Ok, she drove you, but you walked to her house so it wasn't as if she was having to drive out of her way. You also paid for parking and drinks. She is being cheeky by not paying back the money, but I would ask her if the reason she hasn't paid it back is because she drove

As my father would have said back in the day" It is not the amount of money . But the principle of the matter"
The principle being paying your debts promptly. Hiwever small.

My mother just would have just said somerhing like. Well.that is how some people get and keep their money.