Would you pay back £11?

[StolenChanel]

I went out to an event recently with a non-close friend. We used to work together and thought we’d catch up as it was something we’re both interested in. We’re not close but friendly and always got along well. I paid for the tickets on my card and it was only £11. She said “send me your bank details so I can pay you back” and I did. A week has since passed and she still hasn’t paid me back. It’s only £11 so I haven’t chased it but honestly I’m a bit miffed. We both work in the same industry so I know we’re on similar salaries, (which really isn’t very high but also not very low either) but she is far more financially comfortable than I am. Her husband has a high paying job, her in laws do their childcare and she owns properties that she rents out. I, on the other hand, budget very tightly for each month and, with the cost of living and school holiday, this month’s budget has run through far quicker than usual.

I’m not going to bother chasing her for it as I’m not completely flat out (yet) and get paid in a few days anyway, but I’m just wondering if it’s normal to not pay someone back for something this small?

YANBU = she should have paid back
YABU = it’s only £11, get over it.

OP paid for the tickets, parking and drinks, her friend should abs9lutely pay it back and shouldn't have to be reminded

This. I have no idea how much fuel would be but a PP suggested £13 ish. So £6.50 each. OP has more than covered this with drinks and parking therefore she’s owed the £11.
I’d still chase it OP. From what you’ve said she isn’t a close friend so may not be aware of your financial situation and that money will make a big difference to you.

I simply can't believe that there are people on here giving the OP a hard time over this. A debt is a DEBT and should be repaid at the earliest opportunity. People criticising the OP, clearly have no morals, and have obviously never suffered hardship.

As I see it, the OP's friend said that she would repay her, so she SHOULD repay her! If she has had second thoughts and thinks that having done the driving, that they should be quits, then she should contact the OP, and say, 'I've been thinking about the money I owe you for my ticket, and in view of the fact that I provided transport, etc., would you be happy to let it go?' The number of people who simply don't, won't, or can't, communicate absolutely amazes me, and in my opinion the OP is completely justified in asking for the money to be returned to her bank.

tbh, this kind of sum I'd have evened out on the day by getting the drinks of whatever. Most of my close friends, swings and roundabouts, things even out over time- but a more casual acquaintance like this, probably a text reminder

People like her rely on people like you never asking for money back. Send the text and wait for the money. If she doesn’t send it then you definitely never lend her money again but you may want to reconsider the friendship. It’s a crap thing to do.

Yup.

I've known several CFs like this. They rely on people writing it off as 'just a few quid' and get pissy if you ask for the debt to be repaid. " FFS it's only £11, disappointed to know you care more about money than friends" sort of thing.

Gaslighting, thieving CFs. I'm always happy to end an friendship when people tell me who they are.

You need to work out the costs properly and split them
So you paid £7 parking plus £? For drinks
She paid mileage x 20p per mile (that's how much my diesel SUV costs for fuel)
Who paid for tickets?
Add it up, divide by 2 then work out who owes what and message her.

About £5 or drinks OP said.

And £7 for parking.

And £22 for tickets.

OP doesn't need to work out mileage as the friend never suggested splitting the nights costs or that she should not pay for her ticket because she drove.

When the OP paid for the tickets, rhe friend said she said she'd pay for hers then hasn't bothered to.

OP mentioning she paid for drinks and parking is just her being a nice person trying to wonder if she should chase the ticket fee or not because maybe it evened out?

When it didn't but is also irrelevant as that wasn't the agreement or arrangement. The agreement was that the friend would pay for her ticket.

Yeah sorry in all the drip feeding I forgot it was about the tickets! I personally would still work it out though and I think the fuel would only be about £6 each so the friend definitely owes OP

not being capable of comprehending that other people have different financial circumstances to you is more embarrassing, in my view

£11 is enough to buy food for several days, or the difference between being able to put the heating on or not, or even, as OP has specifically said, "just" the difference between being able to afford a few treats for her DC or not.

Why should kids miss out on an ice cream or softplay over half term because a wealthy woman thinks she should get a free theatre ticket that she has already agreed to pay for?

Would she have gone anyway if you hadn't gone with her? If so, the fuel costs are irrelevant. She asked for your bank details so it's either rude or careless that she hasn't yet refunded the ticket.

As for being 'middle class' - yes, I and most of my friends are. We aren't short of money - £11 is neither here nor there, but we respect each other and always either split the bill, take turns buying or pay back what we owe later.

I hate owing money I'd pay ASAP. It may still arrive could be waiting for pay day. Don't think I'd chase for £11 but certainly wouldn't get another penny.

Chase her, she’s probably forgotten. My bank needs a card reader to set up new payees so I can only do it from home. She may have been out and simply forgotten.

Changed vote

Yes you should have left it

Did you see that the friend drove? (hour's trip)

Yes I would pay it back. It's u reasonable not to.

She might have thought she had paid you, forgotten or made a mistake in the bank details and it's gone somewhere else..
You could send her a message saying you are not chasing her up but wanted to check whether she has made the transfer because you haven't received it yet

Ah just seen this. In that case then it's only fair that you buy the tickets. £11 for a round trip is a bargain

Rollercoaster of thread with drip feeds. As you paid the parking and drinks then she definitely should pay you imo. I have had to chase up a parent at school for £15 odds for a soft play I took her daughter to where I had been clear I would pay for lunch plus an additional activity when there but not the soft play. I decided I would resent her for ever if she didn't pay so chased it up.

Hard disagree on this one!

£11 is 3 days worth of food to some people. £11 is the money they need right now to pay for their children’s new school shoes. £11 might seem like a small amount to some but to others it’s a lot.

As a mum that’s been on mat leave and has gone back to work part time, it really annoys me when I pay out for someone who says “I’ll send the money!” And never does

It might just be £5, £8 or £15 but it’s money I need and shouldn’t have to lose out on.

Usually - it would depend on lots of things i.e. rounds, was it £2 bus fare or £20 taxi split, whether this was a friend or acquaintance etc.

However, I think regardless of how little money it is if someone says ill pay that back I'd be really irritated if they didn't. You're only as good as your word and all that.

I agree with this.
Obligation paid by drinks and parking - equalling the driving cost.
So tickets still standing. Otherwise the parking and drinks should have been split. Not on top.

I would say it’s not about the amount it’s the principle £11 might not seem a lot of money to some but it cud be worth a lot more if your skint. I would send another message saying don’t worry about the money it’s only 11 quid it’s my treat to you and not do anything else with her again. This is cheeky fuckery she has the money she just doesn’t want to pay you back. Also she might have drove but she took the parking money and free drink so not a friend at all. Unless someone says you fancy doing something my treat you should always pay back. Not everyone has spare cash.

Lots of drip feeds but yeah you paid for parking and drinks , she drove. That seems fair

So she owes you £11 for the ticket

I would personally message and say sorry to chase but I really could do with that £11, please send to these details by Wednesday. Thank you

No , don’t chase it , she drove you both there and back !
Which would cost more than £11