Would you pay back £11?

[StolenChanel]

I went out to an event recently with a non-close friend. We used to work together and thought we’d catch up as it was something we’re both interested in. We’re not close but friendly and always got along well. I paid for the tickets on my card and it was only £11. She said “send me your bank details so I can pay you back” and I did. A week has since passed and she still hasn’t paid me back. It’s only £11 so I haven’t chased it but honestly I’m a bit miffed. We both work in the same industry so I know we’re on similar salaries, (which really isn’t very high but also not very low either) but she is far more financially comfortable than I am. Her husband has a high paying job, her in laws do their childcare and she owns properties that she rents out. I, on the other hand, budget very tightly for each month and, with the cost of living and school holiday, this month’s budget has run through far quicker than usual.

I’m not going to bother chasing her for it as I’m not completely flat out (yet) and get paid in a few days anyway, but I’m just wondering if it’s normal to not pay someone back for something this small?

YANBU = she should have paid back
YABU = it’s only £11, get over it.

Chase it she must have forgot

No matter the value, even if it's £1 it's principle. You took the courtesy to help pay, despite you clearly being in a less financially comfortable position than her. In this day and age, extra money is hard to come by! She needs to cough up!

but £12.74 should be divided between them = £6.30 odd, so she would still owe OP a fiver in that case.

I would absolutely pay back the full £11 in these circs - friend still had to get there herself, so would still have paid for petrol and whatever the miniscule amount of "wear and tear" for an hour's drive is whether she gave OP a lift or not. I doubt if OP had driven friend would have sent her £22 for the ticket and OP's petrol costs!

unless we are going somewhere a much further distance away, we don't count petrol costs in my friend group, on the basis that we roughly take turns anyway so it would work out. Even for the person that doesn't drive I'd feel like a right scab for invoicing them for petrol when I was going that way anyway!

Yes I think you're being unreasonable. You should have offered to cover the tickets. She's maybe miffed that you were prepared to chase her for £11 and also stiff her on fuel and parking for a 2 hr drive. I would see that as cf behaviour on your part.

@Lavender14 OP not only paid for the tickets, she paid for the parking and the soft drinks so I’d say they’re more or less even. But if her non-close friend offered to repay her, then she should do that. There is a strong chance that she simply forgot to pay OP back.

I would not chase it but learn from it and not buy tickets for anyone like that again, especially if you are on a budget. It’s ok to be upfront about it, “I can only afford to pay for my ticket, I’m on a tight budget.”

Your friend should pay you back but she sounds like she will not. I think if she intended to, it would be done by now.

You paid for parking and drinks to even out the cost of your friend driving you both to and from the event. So the £11 is on top of the agreement and is owing to you.

Because she drove, I probably wouldn’t initially expect to be repaid, but that kind of arrangement would be pre agreed. If she doesn’t think she should pay, why did she say she would transfer it? It’s £11, it’s hardly an insignificant amount to someone who needs to keep to a budget.

It’s the ignorance of her that would annoy me more than anything. She’s decided she doesn’t want to pay so was hoping you’d forget about it and is now purposely ignoring your requests because she can’t communicate like an adult and has no respect for your friendship which she clearly deems is worthy of risking losing for the sake of £11.

Instead of either just transferring it as she sounds like she can afford to, or just saying, ‘’I know I said I’d transfer the money but since I drove us there and paid for fuel and parking, shall we call it quits for this event and I’ll pay for tickets next time?’’ , she would rather come across as ignorant and rude.

If you've paid £11 each for tickets and also £12 parking and drinks and shes just covered petrol amounting to about £12 then I think she should pay you back.

If you hadn't have said you paid for parking and drinks I would have said don't ask for it back due to her petrol costs but if you've contributed approx £ 34 and she £12 then I do think she should pay it.

FFS people, RTFT! OP paid for the ticket, the parking and drinks

To be fair I should have mentioned it in my first post, but honestly I didn’t even think anything of paying the parking as I had budgeted for parking whether I was driving or not, and the drinks were more of a “thank you for driving” as she had already mentioned sending the bank details, so in my mind I was getting that back anyway.

I live and I learn! In future I’ll be far more explicit with things.

I won’t chase it but she’d never get a penny from me ever again. I’d make concerted efforts to show up to events with her with CASH only. if we ever have to pay for anything online jointly, I’m sending her my payment as opposed to ever trusting her again.
I do not mess with people’s money and I do not take kindly to people messing with mine, either.

You should have said the tickets were your treat since she was driving yet you still asked for payment!

There's probably a CF thread somewhere; I drove my friend to and from an event an hour away. She didn't offer to contribute towards petrol and then chased me for the price of the ticket 🙄

How much would the fuel cost and parking?

Chasing and getting petty over £11 is very embarrassing behaviour.

OP paid for the parking and drinks and has already said how much it was

She has likely just forgot.
As you also paid for parking and drinks, you could just send another text - if no responding just leave it but not pay upfront for them again.

I haven’t chased for this very reason. I’m also not being petty - I only asked as I wondered what the norm was. I’m from a very underprivileged background, as are most of the people in my social circle. We’ve all pretty much made our way out but things like paying people back straight away are always prioritised, so I was curious as to whether this was normal for wealthier people or not.

If it was me I wouldn’t waste my energy chasing this up. It’s obviously negatively impacting you so just let it go.

@StolenChanelyou’re not petty. The fact that she is well off is the reason she hasn’t paid. It’s pence to her. I have a friend who says ‘can you grab me a coffee’ etc, but she has no idea that my finances are such that I often don’t have that £3 to grab her a coffee. People can’t comprehend it. I would expect £11 back

Let it go, she drove you etc.
Best if you discuss these things first then you will know where you are.

She should pay up, but I also understand your reluctance to pursue it as well. It’s a tough one and I know that I would probably let it go, but ask for any money up front if I were to out with her again or suggest she purchases her own tickets.
I hate owning anyone money and want to settle any debts straight away. She may just have forgotten, but I’d hazard a guess that this isn’t the case and she is thinking ‘ it’s only 11 pounds ‘ or whatever.

Yes I would pay it back and I wouldn't expect to be chased for it.

You owe someone something then you pay it back at the earliest opportunity or when it was agreed to pay it back.

If you borrow an item you use it a.s.a.p and give it back a s.a.p.

Omg op please stop ! She drove you and your asking for £11 back. Give it over please

Whilst I wouldn't bother following up for £11, I disagree that it's petty and embarrassing. If I was chased up my first thought would be "fuck, I forgot! Best pay" rather than thinking pejoratively about the person asking for money that I was due to them.

You're very lucky that you've never had to