Would you pay back £11?

[StolenChanel]

I went out to an event recently with a non-close friend. We used to work together and thought we’d catch up as it was something we’re both interested in. We’re not close but friendly and always got along well. I paid for the tickets on my card and it was only £11. She said “send me your bank details so I can pay you back” and I did. A week has since passed and she still hasn’t paid me back. It’s only £11 so I haven’t chased it but honestly I’m a bit miffed. We both work in the same industry so I know we’re on similar salaries, (which really isn’t very high but also not very low either) but she is far more financially comfortable than I am. Her husband has a high paying job, her in laws do their childcare and she owns properties that she rents out. I, on the other hand, budget very tightly for each month and, with the cost of living and school holiday, this month’s budget has run through far quicker than usual.

I’m not going to bother chasing her for it as I’m not completely flat out (yet) and get paid in a few days anyway, but I’m just wondering if it’s normal to not pay someone back for something this small?

YANBU = she should have paid back
YABU = it’s only £11, get over it.

OP says she wouldn't have gone, so that's a no to the expensive taxi.

She also clearly said that she paid the parking herself.

Any more helpful input?

I’d chase it. The principle matters more than the amount.

I know you have said the £11 wasn’t in your budget this month, but you would have needed that or more in fuel had you driven yourself.

This! YABU for making it bigger than it is, YANBU for wanting the £11 back. Just check with her she got the right bank details?

Let it go.

If you use revolut it's easy but sending bank details is a pita.

If we're being fair you have paid for:
Two tickets £22, Drinks £10-£12, Parking £7. Total £39-£41
You have subbed her around £20.

In turn she has paid for your share of petrol about £6-£7.
You're down £13 at least.
She definitely owes you for the ticket and should buy you a soft drink next time you're out as well!

It’s not earth shattering but it’s the difference between me saying yes and no when the kids ask for an ice cream or something when we’re out and about.

This is what you should say to her, OP.

She'll just have forgotten. I forget these kinds of things all the time as I would't care about someone owning me 11 quid, so unless I transfer immediately, I'll just forget, there's so many other things to remember.

People always forget with me also and I don't really chase them/ care. Some remember later, some don't.

However if you want, if you send her a quick 'how are you' text, she'll see the bank details just above in the thread, and she'll remember, be embarrassed and pay up. Or mention the event in a conversation and she'll remember for sure, also. I'm always mortified that I've forgotten, but the forgetting isn't malicious.

Ahhhh. She drove so seems only fair you cover her ticket.

If you’re struggling over £11 maybe don’t go in future.

And here’s the drip feed.

Ok sorry I missed the point you paid for parking

how would you have got there without her lift?

See at as investment of £11 to end the friendship.
If she doesn't pay back you know she wasn't worth £11 quid anyway. You never have to deal with people again if they never pay you back, that's the punishment. They can F right off. Once bitten, twice shy. Do not pay for non close friends again..

YANBU.

Ah, maybe. Did she also buy some drinks or snacks for you both possibly?

Oh, I see you paid the parking and drinks. I think she owes you for the ticket but I can see why she'd decide she doesn't.

If I was her I'd pay instantly, before you asked.

I would say that 2hours driving and fuel, would be a generous exchange for her ticket.
IMHO

Well you have drip fed. In that case she owes you nada.

YANBU at all. So many people unable to digest a simple thread and consider all the facts seemingly. Fair enough she drove the two hour round trip but you paid the £7 parking and a few soft drinks London prices so not cheap which is fair reimbursement for her driving. So by my calculations you’re still owed the ticket price. If it were me, I’d definitely ask again especially as she agreed to pay you - it’s the principle of it.

Did she drive, pay for drinks or pay for anything on the evening? Not sure I would be that worried about £11. Not because I am well off but because I couldn't be bothered.

You could try RTFT?

She's probably just forgotten.

Well, she sounds flakey if so. I am meticulous with paying money I owe to people who have helped me out at an awkward time. It makes for smooth relationships. It's also about respect.

That’s a good point. Plus OP’s non-close friend did ask for the banking details so perhaps hadn’t gotten round to paying OP? Or, she could have forgotten that OP had paid for the parking and soft drinks and possibly went home being miffed at OP for not turning down her offer to pay back the £11? Either way, OP please don’t pay for non-close friends anymore. Besides, seeing as you’re not likely to meet again, there isn’t any harm sending a friendly reminder only if you think this will impact your budget.

Agreed. I think all of this could have been included in OP’s initial post to provide more clarity on the matter.

If she hadn't driven you there I'd say yes, she should pay you the £11 what she owed you.

As she drove you then no. Doesn't come cheap to run a car when you factor in insurance, tax, fuel etc..

Ask her if she could check that she’s paid as it hasn’t shown in your account yet and you’re wondering whether your bank app is playing up.