Husband’s sister treatment at our wedding reception

[PalmTreeAngel]

We had our wedding reception party a week ago, and my husband’s sister not only arrived late… but she only got us a card and no gift. Meanwhile, I’ve received very nice gifts from new colleagues I’ve met from work and my mum’s friends.

The reason she arrived late (along with her husband and two young daughters) is because they had a last minute viewing on their house.

AIBU to feel hurt and insulted by this?

I have tried talking to my husband about this, but he just shrugs it off. He feels similar to me, but won’t do anything about it or say anything to her. I think he ought to say something, but that’s me. They’re a very avoidant family, but I like to raise how I feel with others (with the hopes that we work through it of course).

Was this just a party following you getting married on a separate occasion? How late is late?

Are you going to spend your whole married life picking away at your new husband's sister every time she doesn't live up to your expectations?

Yeah how late is late? Was it a sit down thing where it's very obvious someone was late or just milling around?

My family will be late for their own funerals. They have no respect for other people's time. There's nothing you can do about it whether you're pissed off or not.

I'd just let it go, you won't change them.

Yes, that’s right - it was a reception party -separate occasion. We had a private elopement abroad.
I think about an hour or so late. It kind of ruined photos, as the idea was to arrive early or on time so we could get family photos. We ended up taking some without them. I’m not fussed about that on its own, it’s all the factors together that have left me feeling upset.

Thanks, I appreciate that!

But I’m not too fussed about the lateness thing on its own - it’s this combined with only receiving a card too.

Let it go.
Your wedding was wonderful (I'm sure).
Stop focusing on this one minor issue. Stop giving her the head space.
This should ve the happiest time of your lives, your honeymoon!
Give over nagging your new husband.

No not really. I’m not that ridiculous - but I happen to think a wedding is a very important event!

Were they late for a sit down meal or just a party? If it’s just a party I don’t think an hour after start time is bad.

What are you hoping to achieve ? If it’s a family rift then cracking get it all off your chest!

it sounds like an evening party , so most people would not think it matters if they “late”, also a viewing is important and maybe they did their best to get out the house but it’s not as if you can run around in your undies with strangers looking around your house

as fur guft they are obviously struggling or I would not bring a gift to a evening invite

You can’t elope and then get all arsey when you don’t get wedding presents!

Calm down bridezilla, when you try and sell a house that’s not shifting you’ll get it. Ruined the photos 🤣

Then you are grabby and rude.

Viewing on the house trumps your party.

You need to grow up!

I think if it was your actual wedding then fair enough but it wasn't, it was a party. I would sent a card for your actual wedding so not for the party.

I thought if you eloped you didn't get wedding presents and a reception?

Am I missing something? It wasn’t a wedding was it? It was a party when you returned from your wedding?

You're not entitled to gifts from anyone. No wonder your DH doesn't want to say anything, I'd be mortified challenging someone for not buying me a present.

But you’ve already had your wedding abroad which they obviously were not invited to.
You need to stop being ridiculous.

I have to say, I’m quite surprised by people’s attitudes on here. I don’t think I’m a bridezilla - that’s a stretch.

We attended their wedding all the way in Devon.

I would still gift if I was attending an evening party. also this isn’t any old guest, this is my husband’s sister. My husband agrees with me.

What am I hoping to achieve? I guess I wanted to put it out there and see what other people thought.

They’re not sending a great message to us.

It wasn't a wedding though. You decided you didn't want your family around you for that. This was just a party. I don't think it matters if she was a bit late.

You eloped, which you have every right to do but it means some people won't pretend your party is a wedding

Don’t open this particular can of worms.

You didn’t invite his sister the wedding ceremony, only a post ceremony reception. If you complain about her being late to the party, you need to be prepared for her and possibly other members of the family to air their wedding related grievances in return.

They may have kept their opinions to themselves to keep the peace, but if you start complaining about arrival times or gifts they will likely feel free to reciprocate.

YABRidiculous.

It wasn't a wedding, it was a party.

You didn't get a wedding present, because she was not invited to your wedding.

If you want wedding presents, you need to invite people to your wedding.

Was she aware there was a plan to do family photos etc at the start of the party (who even does that, its a party!)...

I think trying to sell their house is probably more important to them than your party.

Sorry, what has my wedding abroad got to do with anything? That was a private ceremony between myself and my partner.

This is about being invited to a wedding reception party in the UK, being late, and also not even giving a gift. If it was a friend, fine. But its sister in law?

I got a wedding gift from 80% of the attendees. Even work colleagues gave gifts. I was surprised that of the people that didn’t gift, it was my husband’s sister.

Yup, sorry agree wholeheartedly with this. They were a bit delayed to a party.