Husband’s sister treatment at our wedding reception

[PalmTreeAngel]

We had our wedding reception party a week ago, and my husband’s sister not only arrived late… but she only got us a card and no gift. Meanwhile, I’ve received very nice gifts from new colleagues I’ve met from work and my mum’s friends.

The reason she arrived late (along with her husband and two young daughters) is because they had a last minute viewing on their house.

AIBU to feel hurt and insulted by this?

I have tried talking to my husband about this, but he just shrugs it off. He feels similar to me, but won’t do anything about it or say anything to her. I think he ought to say something, but that’s me. They’re a very avoidant family, but I like to raise how I feel with others (with the hopes that we work through it of course).

they are not strangers, they are work colleagues and friends.

You said you never met one of them?

You said - one whom you’d never met before?

Oh stop being such a drama llama!
You are not the lead character in a soap opera 😂

Husband’s work colleague & friend

🙄

We had 300 at our wedding but I knew them all as did DH. None of them were strangers to me or DH.

Did they give you a present?

This thread is very frustrating. You keep changing your tune OP, first you were annoyed they were late but then you said you actually didn't mind that.

You say your husband isn't even close with his sister and only sees her a few times a year, you say you don't think much of her. She didn't send a card when you moved house etc

In my eyes, she came. She celebrated with you on your special party, she got you a card.

If she had refused to come at all or cancelled at the last minute I'd agree it would be disappointing and rude but she wasn't.

Good for you.

Yes it is - for such a special occasion I can’t imagine celebrating with people I didn’t know.

And yet your first few so posts were all “I” and “my”. No mention of your husband.

That’s nice, but apparently this isn’t a wedding or a wedding reception, it’s just a party according to many people on here.

I have mentioned him in many of my messages.

And today the op went for a beach walk with a friend

a conspicuously absent new husband

You’re very personal @tooksometime do you not have anything better to do?

Not really. Teens are cleaning up post Easter lunch!

personal? Just pointing out you seem to have been very alone and very angry today

Wooooooowwwwwww as if…imagine sliding into someone’s DMs just because they don’t agree with you.

clearly thinks she is the centre of everyone’s universe, even randoms on mumsnet.

its a party, nobody cares. Also, why should a sister gift at a ‘wedding’? I didn’t expect mine to gift, and actually when I think about it I don’t know that she did, wouldn’t cross my mind to be upset

Perhaps you could “take some time” to do something a bit better than targeting me as per usual? I’ve said time and time again to kindly back away please. Yet, you’re ignoring me.

Eventually.

As I said earlier, you won’t change his family. I have next to no interest in DH’s siblings (we live 5 hours away and have learned that the roads only seem to go in one direction for them) so DH manages all communication. I could have driven myself mad fuming at all of the things they did and didn’t do that I doing annoying, but what would be the point?

Just get your expectations sorted ahead of any babies.

Ok op

I mean…. If you read back I’m just asking you to consider a different family dynamic

but that seems quite alien and offensive to you

This has nothing to do with considering a different family dynamic. You are being personal and unnecessary -crossing a boundary and when I have asked you to back off.

It's unfair to say this was just a party. No, it wasn't the ceremony but it was certainly the reception.

I genuinely don't think the OP is being grabby. It's the thought, and wanting to feel like family had made an effort. Coupled with being late, it could definitely feel that you are both at the lower end of their priorities which, when it is a special day (yes not the ceremony BUT the wedding reception) can hurt, especially if the relationship isn't great anyway.

We are all different though. I wouldn't go to someone's wedding reception or engagement party etc without a gift but many don't feel the need.

Thank you @PuttingOnMyPositivePants I feel you and I are on the same wavelength.

Just ignore her and don’t react, she’s loving the reactions and feeding off them