Upset at comment DH made when TTC

[GemJ2025]

DH and I are currently TTC and I don’t feel he is taking it seriously.

I am ovulating currently and we’d agreed last night in bed we’d do the deed this morning. DH couldn’t ‘maintain’ for want of a better term, so said ‘I’m going to the gym, after seeing a few scrunch bums I’ll be in the mood when I’m back’ and shot up and got ready to go out.

He isn’t back yet, for those who don’t know ‘scrunch bum’ is a type of tight gym legging. He has made jokes about women at the gym before and knows I don’t like it and it feels even more this time when TTC

Am I being sensitive or would you be upset too?

@GemJ2025 and why are you currently trying to have a baby with him? You must have no self respect or dignity and I say this with kindness. Perhaps you need some therapy and to work on your confidence.

Ditto.

No not at all, I was understanding. He had an ex who used to make comments if he ever couldn’t perform and I think that has always played on his mind.

Can’t get it up plus a pervert. Wow a real catch there !

Do not have a child with a man who just told you to your face that he needs to go and creep on other women's arses at the gym to be able to get an erection for sex with you.

He says he's joking now, but with that obvious lack of respect or loving care, he'll be cheating on you before your waters break.

This.

Imagine his thoughts and comments after witnessing childbirth and postpartum changes to his wife’s body. Ugh.

Does he often have issues 'performing', sounds like it?

I'd be wondering why that is exactly. Does he take drugs? Steroids?

From the limited information you've given, I'd be inclined to suggest refraining from procreating with this flacid prick.

Not missing the point at all. He couldn’t perform so that means it’s ok to blame his wife?

Not really, the odd time. I could tell he wasn’t in the mood this morning and wish he just said he didn’t want to bother at all rather than make that comment.

Order a male celebrity mask of your choice and ask him to wear it 😀. 😂😉

He's covering up for his inability to perform

But what will she do about the flaccid slug he’s packing?

Any signs that he could possibly have a porn addiction? The objectifying comments he’s made alongside the… difficulty… he has sometimes could point to this?

And how would be react to a joke from you when you were having sex and said "I can't get into this at all, I'm going to go to the gym..... I'm sure a look at a few ripped guys there with arses like bowling balls/packages you can see through their shorts ..will get me going".

He'd find it really funny, I'm sure.

So he's both unable to perform, and covers for it being telling his partner that she doesn't turn him on, but other women do...so he'll look at them and then return for sex.

He has made comments about women at the gym before and he knows I don’t find it funny. As recently as last month, we drove past someone and my DH announced ‘she goes to my gym, best arse in name of town we live in’ and she looked in her early 20’s. DH is mid 30’s.

He sounds like a prince.

Having gotten away with that (in fact you've committed to him in spite of it ...as much as anyone could commit without actually being pregnant, cause you're trying to get pregnant by him).he feels emboldened to say inappropriate things & insult you further, during intimate moments.

Agree. I'd feel upset and grossed out for several reasons.

You're not his ex.

You don't do time for someone else's crime.

You don't take abuse because of someone's past partners/relationships. That would be their issue to deal with.

Half of all marriages end in divorce and this is going to be one of them. He has zero respect or care for you. Doesn’t even try to hide it.

Do not have kids with this self centred pervert

Ewww what a gross comment. I don’t blame you for being upset at all.

I couldn't be with a man who openly ogles young women. It's up to you as I know you must love him but honestly there are better men out there. None of my friends ' husbands, male family members or my own DH say this kind of thing, especially not to their own wives. I expect its normal to comment to other men but its a but worrying that he'd say this kind of thing directly to you. Yanbu to be upset.

What exactly are his redeeming qualities that makes you want to have kid with him? This is what you want him teaching your potential son? This is the kind of objectivity he’d be ok with his potential daughter receiving? Grim.

Perhaps he feels under pressure to DTD at the best time to conceive? There’s no defence for the nasty comment though.
Maybe don’t tell him when you’re ovulating?
Just make your moves at the right time
30 years ago now, I took the scientific approach by charting my temperature every day and didn’t tell him.
Im incredibly lucky, I know but I conceived all my 3 in the first month

Agree. Bin and raise your standards, OP.

Scrunch bum leggings are horrible n all