Upset at comment DH made when TTC

[GemJ2025]

DH and I are currently TTC and I don’t feel he is taking it seriously.

I am ovulating currently and we’d agreed last night in bed we’d do the deed this morning. DH couldn’t ‘maintain’ for want of a better term, so said ‘I’m going to the gym, after seeing a few scrunch bums I’ll be in the mood when I’m back’ and shot up and got ready to go out.

He isn’t back yet, for those who don’t know ‘scrunch bum’ is a type of tight gym legging. He has made jokes about women at the gym before and knows I don’t like it and it feels even more this time when TTC

Am I being sensitive or would you be upset too?

Next time he's wanting it just say- sorry give me 10 mins to look at some hunky fireman porn and then I'll be in the mood.

I am not sure I’d want to have a child with someone who couldn’t have sex with me without getting in mood by checking out someone else.

Even if it was a joke to hide his inability to perform. Weird.

So he is adding gaslighting and dismissing to the list….

This.

Yuck. I'd rethink the whole relationship, honestly.

@Winifredtabagowomen and girls can wear whatever they want to the gym frankly without men like OPs husband dashing out of the house to perv at them. The leggings she’s talking about don’t even show much other than a bum, which is totally visible in any style of leggings or tight shorts.

Granted there are some women and men that go that seek attention but I don’t blame them the gym has become the new nightclub, given the rise of online apps it msg one of the few places where people can meet face to face and talk.

I would take that as him saying I don't arouse him, but he knows the women at the gym do.

Hmm…..
It is an issue when you’re ttc and it’s not happening as easily as you’d thought.
Saying that the OP should make the sex ‘less prescriptive’ is … let’s say unrealistic. Biology, not the OP, is deciding of that unfortunately.

(I agree though that sex at any other time should still be there and as pleasant and intimate as it was before)

How long have you been together? How old is he? Are you sure this is the man to have children with?

Scrunch bum leggings are designed to draw attention to and enhance the butt. Plenty other leggings you can wear to the gym if you dont want people looking. They are worn because people want others to look- especially when teamed with the t-shirts tied up at the back! And yes men will appreciate it.

Wow you feminist 😂

Have you heard women can wear whatever the fuck they want and (shockingly) expect to be treated respectfully.

The 1960s called.....

He wasn't joking OP, and to claim it was is insulting your intelligence and disrespectful in itself.

The message he was communicating to you there, deliberately, was that he needs extra stimulation to get it up and that you're not enough. Some men have to use porn, whilst in his case he wants to see other women at the gym. I can absolutely bet that there will be more of these comments once you've had a baby. It will be digs at your stretchmarks, or the fast that you've dared not to lose weight quickly enough.

This

That’s grim. Who wants a baby conceived when he’s thinking of his wank bank? Sorry op but that would be too far for me

It would be different if the man walked up to the woman at the gym and said- hi I'm just going to sit on this machine and look at your butt. That would be disrespectful of course.

Theres no disrespect if he just looks and has certain thoughts in his head. You cant stop that if you choose to dress a certain way.

Well, yes, but the DH did what he needed to do to solve the issue, he was just a knob for making it obvious to OP.

I'm sure in the 60s there wasnt so much faux naivety

Don’t have a baby with this moronic pleb.

Don’t have a baby with a vile bloke.

Its madness to subject yourself and a baby to that.

Do you already have a child with this creature? If not, I would give serious consideration to getting away while you can.

Sounds like he made a grim joke

there’s nothing kills sex more than making it all about TCC

Is it still a joke when he came back from the gym ‘gagging for it’?

In your OP you said you don’t think he’s taking it seriously. Is that just because of what he said this morning or are there other reasons you don’t think he’s fully onboard?

He is one of the creepy guys that openly stare while a woman works out. Vile.