Neighbours go to bed 1am and up at 5am we are knackered , detached house.

[Motheroffive999]

We can hear our neighbours running up and down the stairs , they shout in the house, they shout to each other from the house to the end of the garden.You can hear every word.We hear them in the bathroom , word for word.
The worst thing is that they get up early and shout at each other in the front garden and slam their car doors at least ten times because they are unorganized and spend ages packing the car / going back into the house and slamming their side gate.
Am I being unreasonable and a grumpy neighbour ?
I don't want to be woken up at 5 - 6 am every morning if I have been at work all week.
I am tearful and grumpy all the time.
If they come home at midnight I am asleep and I hear word for word what the are saying to each other, it's a conversation that could wait until they get inside.Of course slamming doors and telling each other who needs a wee or a poo or a cup of tea or a shower first.
I know exactly who and when needs a poo , needs to put on deodorant, what activities they are going to , what they are having for dinner etc etc , with the windows and doors shut. Three generations living there and three children.
Our house is detached .

This.

That’s a very good point. People simply don’t realise how their lack of soft furnishings impact others. Also a lack of walls! I’m in a terrace where one neighbour has ripped out most of the walls downstairs, no carpets, no curtains, precious little furniture. And a grand piano!

👏 unfortunately not the case for OP. Count your blessings!

Well that can get taken off for a start. You don’t have to allow stuff to be attached to your wall. Tell them if they can’t stop slamming the gate then they can remove it.

I am aware my own NDNs are open plan in their dining room/kitchen. And it's all laminated flooring so these are great points to be made on the thread. Not so great if you live next door of course...

But surely you’d get up, open the window and ask them to keep the noise down. Do it in the moment when it’s happening.

I can hear our next door neighbours in their bathroom from our bathroom, and we're not attached to them - there's a driveway between our house and theirs, 1930s houses both of them.

There's a lot of rude people on this thread that have the naive view that their living experience is the only valid one!

My new build house is less than 2m from my neighbours. If I am inside my house, it is impossible to hear them inside their house, even with windows open. I will hear them from outside, if their windows are open. My bedroom is at the side of the house backing on to their smaller bedrooms where their baby sleeps. I have never heard their baby crying.

There are building regulations for new build separation and has been for decades.

I used a free app called ‘Rain’ during lockdown when our neighbours became insufferable arseholes. We still
don’t speak to them after their utterly selfish behaviour and neither do any of our other neighbours. It turns out there were pissing off most of the street. They have tried to sell their house twice (unsuccessfully unfortunately) but we live in hope they’ll bugger off eventually.

I would try some form of white noise op. I found it surprisingly effective.

Anyway OP, I'd loudly ask the next time you see them if their bowel problems are getting any better, or if the poo that they had at 6am was a good one!

It's like collective gaslighting on MN most days.

'Because I have a house wherein I don't hear my neighbours, your experience must be wrong'.

Help me understand,please.😭

But these are 1930s houses, not new builds. They were built at a time of rapid expansion of the countries housing stock, almost 100 years ago.

Can you hear them in the bathroom and running up and down their staircase though? Your neighbours are outside and I suspect much of what the OP is complaining about is when she or they are outside.

I sympathise, I really do. We had very noisy neighbours who seemed to live in their garden and talked really loudly. You could hear clearly every word they said, whereas our NDN's we'd only hear the murmur of conversation (noisy neighbours were 4/5 houses away luckily). The parents were loud, their children were loud and weirdly the dog had a loud bark and barked a lot (and they never tried to quieten it 😡). When they moved a couple of years ago the neighbourhood felt like having a street party to celebrate.

How far between the 2 houses? I just don’t see how you could hear anyone of any stature running up a set of stairs in a house with no shared wall

The op sounds incredibly noise sensitive possibly with hyperacusis or misophonia.

Unless she lives in thr middle of nowhere she will hear neighbours.

Op, see your GP. All the noises you describe are sadly part and parcel of living near people.

Google hyperacusis.

It's hell on earth having constantly noisy neighbours especially when the noise is all day every day. I do struggle to understand how you can hear all that from a detatched house, do they have all the windows open? I have neighbours from hell and they have the back door open from mid morning til late evening and as the nights get lighter the door will be open longer. They communicate by yelling and screaming, they have a lot of visitors calling at all hours who join in the yelling. They also have limited Englsh so I have had to use Google translate to ask them to try and keeop the noise down, they then shut the door but it will be open a few minutes later and it all kicks off again! I use earplugs, music and try to stay calm. Moving is not an option. I used to look forward to Summer, I dread it now.

It's like different houses are built differently or something. Mystifying.

We live in a semi and do hear our neighbours occasionally. They seem to do an awful lot of drilling, they never seem to answer their house phone so it rings incessantly, they have their tv on loud and their dog barks quite a lot. It's a semi so I accept that people have to live their lives! They probably hear us sometimes too though we have no dogs, dh has a pathological aversion to drilling holes and we're not hard of hearing.
I do have to go to work at 0530 but I try and be as quiet as possible. Our ndn no longer talk to us because they don't like the smell of our cooking (nothing fancy or ethnic), our trees are too high (we got rid of all our trees in the front because they complained and 2 more are coming down in the back next week to try and keep them happy). It's costing me £1000 but I want a quiet life - and for them to move!

That's why i couched my answer in terms of the only way around this is to address how she is responding to the noise... short of asking her neighbours politely if they'd mind keeping the noise down before 7am and after 10pm

They might not realise how much their noise is carrying between the houses.

But OP still needs to address her own reactions to it.

Well if you can hear people on their stairs from outside their house (let alone in your own house "with the windows and doors shut") then their house must be made out of balsa wood.

We have a gate between us and the neighbours, but it is attached to their wall (hinge side) since it is their gate and the fastenings are on our wall.

Usually it is ok, but we have got up in the night and bolted it shut for them before.

That neighbour had a problem with the neighbour with the same arrangement on the other side and vowed never to buy a house that you couldn't walk all the way round ever again.

It's possible it's a condition called cuntyneighbourasis

We have one loud neighbour in a block of flats. We just take turns yelling at them to shut the fuck up. Just tell them. Knock on the door and say they are waking you up at ridiculous times and could they please stop shouting and banging doors in the middle of the night.

I have had unrelenting noise from my neighbours.

I'm actually sad that I did shout ' shut the fuck up' one early morning after neverending wakings now added to by a new whining puppy.

It really does bring out the worst in people.

The poor insulation in some properties is absolutely criminal.

They're in a detached house. I'm not minimising the op's suffering but her intolerance to slightly elevated noise may well be the problem rather than the neighbours.

Seriously, to be so upset over squeaky gates and people running up and down the stairs <in a detchahed house> points more to hyperacusis or phonophobia and she should get checked out and seek advice.