Neighbours go to bed 1am and up at 5am we are knackered , detached house.

[Motheroffive999]

We can hear our neighbours running up and down the stairs , they shout in the house, they shout to each other from the house to the end of the garden.You can hear every word.We hear them in the bathroom , word for word.
The worst thing is that they get up early and shout at each other in the front garden and slam their car doors at least ten times because they are unorganized and spend ages packing the car / going back into the house and slamming their side gate.
Am I being unreasonable and a grumpy neighbour ?
I don't want to be woken up at 5 - 6 am every morning if I have been at work all week.
I am tearful and grumpy all the time.
If they come home at midnight I am asleep and I hear word for word what the are saying to each other, it's a conversation that could wait until they get inside.Of course slamming doors and telling each other who needs a wee or a poo or a cup of tea or a shower first.
I know exactly who and when needs a poo , needs to put on deodorant, what activities they are going to , what they are having for dinner etc etc , with the windows and doors shut. Three generations living there and three children.
Our house is detached .

If it was a detached house their gate would not t be attached to the ops wall.

Indeed. There are many CF’s around. I once listened to a rant from someone about her unreasonable neighbours who were causing trouble when all she wanted to do was improve her house. Turns out one of her improvements was putting up a gate with the support post drilled into the neighbours wall!

I'd want to give them a running commentary of questions... How was the poo? Did you get your wee on time? in the hope they might pick up the hint...

I'm really surprised you're hearing so much in a detached house.
Our detached is quite close the next door's . They are quite a noisy family but we can't hear anything unless they're outside or the windows are open.

As they make so much noise for so much of the time I really can't see that speaking to them is going make any difference. It sounds like they're just a noisy household.

I think I would be thinking about moving if possible, OP.

Havent read the whole thread but surprised at the poll result. You sound very very sensitive to noise and in fact any noise that isnt bird song or natural. All I would say is try and remember when you had 5 children. I wouldnt have wanted to live next door to you.

I am confused though regarding the detached bit. What is the gap between your houses and I also suspect - kindly - you have a lot more time on your hands to listen out for issues.

Is this a typo? Should it be semi-detached? Shouting and car door slamming, Yes. But can't understand you can hear running up and down stairs in a detached house.

Why are you asleep in your front garden at 5am?

Detached or not, they sound insufferable with the way they make noise generally, it’s a total lack of social awareness or just think world revolves around them. The number of people who slam doors and talk loudly at each other

I am mid terraced and my neighbours come to sometimes apologise for their kids shouting and stomping but we hear absolutely nothing and they also always commend how “quiet” our children are and they are not quiet at all…they are loud. We are all happy neighbours. One time we had a pipe fault which was loud and our neighbours could hear it but were so lovely and patient. I think your walls may be quite thin -especially considering you are detached. And your neighbours are inconsiderate …shouting from the car and things could be avoided.
Are they approachable? Try having a polite but stern word and see how that goes…all the best and how you get the rest you need.

How can the road not bother you but you can hear water in their bathroom? From a detached house?!

I'm sorry but I think this is a you issue. Sure if they're banging gates and outside doors etc. I'd expect that to bother you (although I do suspect because you're wound up it's stopping you from just dropping back to sleep) but I agree with your husband. Get some ear plugs, meditate, white noise. Or go down the environmental health route.

This sounds like more of a you problem tbh. I live in a flat and I can't even hear my neighbours that much. It sounds like you're intolerant of normal household noise in a residential area, and the more you listen out for it, the more you will hear it.

Probably a good idea to do one of two things. Move, or hope they move.if you can hear everything they say to each other, you'd get a good impression of the conversation content,is it aggressive ? Are they threatening each other ? Or are they just loud ? , confronting them is probably not a smart move,they are right NEXT DOOR,and things can swiftly get out of hand.good luck.be careful.

My thoughts exactly, the OP says it’s a main road with cars and Lorries going by but strangely this doesn’t bother her, while someone going upstairs or conversations in the detached house next door do.

So many unstable people around nowadays.I know exactly the type of people you are talking about.They shout everything out at the top of their voice.It seems to be an attention seeking thing.I lived next door to a family like this for a couple of years.The man was hammering and drilling almost non stop.Imm pretty sure he was doing it on purpose.The woman screaming at her kids and hearing her hitting them through the walls.The kids (teenagers) constantly screaming shouting and the whole lot of them attacking each other.Made me and my son Ill.Thanks to those lovely neighbours..My son went to live with a relative while I waited to be moved out.Its like heaven where I live now compared to the hell we went through there.Id move if I was you.These type of people dont change so there's no point in asking them to be quiet.

My neighbours have just come home from work. How do I know? They can't walk through a door without slamming it after them, I can track them through the house with every door they walk through.

Once they arrive in the kitchen, something is dragged the length of the kitchen. 4 times a day every day. I'm convinced they just bounce themselves and the kids off the walls to travel through the house rather than walk. They shout and scream at each other, conversation I presume. What a way to live. Then the kids start screaming, the Dad is a hype man who gets them to such excitement levels the kids are screaming and crying within 30 minutes of him appearing. The Dad is then shouting at them to calm down and shut up. Mum loves nothing more than cleaning the walls/floor/kitchen presses at midnight, it must help her sleep bless her.

I've lived here for 20 years and never heard a peep with the previous 3 families that lived there.

Solidarity with everyone that has inconsiderate shit neighbours.

I'm in tears as I type this. I have partly derailed. I'm in a house converted into 2. I'm at the top. I paid for double underlay and thick carpets. I make occasional noise with music.

Downstairs are just loud naturally and the insulation is absolutely appalling.

The dog barks and whines so loud that it's as if it's on the end of my sofa. I told them it was going to be difficult to cope with overnight when it first whined al night and they didn't hear it. I think they must take sleeping tablets tbh. I explained it was difficult with new dog having had to move rooms with the baby crying ( left for ages crying). I said of course no problem ref kids as I understand. It was raised to give context. E.g too much for me now with the dog.

Now I have the drone of the radio on every time they leave the dog. If it's not that it's the dog. The toddler makes screech noises like a parakeet. The husband has one of those boom box voices. Drum and bass is their musical repertory - which is frustrating because the thud.

I can't put this all on them. There's 4 people down there with a dog and the insulation is appalling in this HA property.

I'm seriously seriously unwell and can hardly leave my home so this has become torture for me to endure. I accept waking with the family because they're so loud. I accept their loudness but it's intensifying over time. It's not me, it realyis getting louder. They've been here about 6 months and the dog is new and the kid is older and learning to screech.

I feel no matter what, they just won't shut up.

It's come to a head with me turning usual TV volume of 10 up to 90. I am so done with this all and I appreciate this is aggressive and not going to be good with how unwell I already am. I feel devastated with my situation as it is and this is too much. I want to literally throttle them.

There's rubbish piling up ( which I'm not bothered about as don't go out and see it. The lawn was being mowed at 10.30pm when they first swapped to move here ( no massive deal) but it gave me an indication they might be annoying. There was mention of problems with old neighbours in the last place and being too intimidated to leave the flat. I think I know why now.

I don't dislike them. They're ok people. But this will finish me as I get sicker and value any peace I have.

I just wanted a moan and appreciate this space. I am trying to keep my mouth zipped after the 90 volume TV tantrum today.

I have £30 loop type earplugs arriving tomorrow.

Look into getting some noise cancelling earbuds/headphones too. I have a jabra pair and to be honest they've kept me just about on the right side of sane.

I've got some loop type ones with 3 settings depending on the environment you're in. They arrive tomorrow.

Because I'm so reliant on TV I hope for some where I can still hear the TV but it magically addresses the noise from downstairs. I'm not sure if that's possible but will see tomorrow when they arrive. 🤞

@Pleaseshutthefuckup

"It's come to a head with me turning usual TV volume of 10 up to 90."

Yep, that's basically us at the moment. TV goes on loud now. If they don't give a flying f, why should we?

Massive sympathy from me🫂

Sympathy back to you 💐. People can be unbearable to deal with.

I'm preparing my next communication - to be polite and just explain again that the dog and the radio starting at 7am is really difficult to deal with. If they could address the early morning and dog issues I'd cope.

My loop plugs are on their way anyway - here in a short while. I tried visualise flushing them out with a giant hosepipe this morning which helped. 🤷

😭

It is detached and the gate is attached to our wall same as mine is attached to the neighbour the other side.There is a 2.5 metre gap between each house.

I am so sorry .
Are the ear plugs helping ?
Is there any improvement?

Believe me you can , it is a detached house.Its a vibration type sound , I got a friend to come over and listen

They've been really apologetic and say to me they know how noisy they all are.

I nodded rather than say no. I did acknowledge the problem being the house. It is appalling with no insulation between up and downstairs. They're young also. It really is difficult because of that.

It is psychologically less distressing when you get on and can communicate. But it's still hard.

White noise on Alexa has been my go to when too much. So thanks guys 😘.

I'm particularly distressed with my health, severe pain and a narcissistic family nightmare living very very close by so this is what compounds things for me here. I can see why retired people might become really unreasonable if they never leave the house or get hobbies. 🤷