Neighbours go to bed 1am and up at 5am we are knackered , detached house.

[Motheroffive999]

We can hear our neighbours running up and down the stairs , they shout in the house, they shout to each other from the house to the end of the garden.You can hear every word.We hear them in the bathroom , word for word.
The worst thing is that they get up early and shout at each other in the front garden and slam their car doors at least ten times because they are unorganized and spend ages packing the car / going back into the house and slamming their side gate.
Am I being unreasonable and a grumpy neighbour ?
I don't want to be woken up at 5 - 6 am every morning if I have been at work all week.
I am tearful and grumpy all the time.
If they come home at midnight I am asleep and I hear word for word what the are saying to each other, it's a conversation that could wait until they get inside.Of course slamming doors and telling each other who needs a wee or a poo or a cup of tea or a shower first.
I know exactly who and when needs a poo , needs to put on deodorant, what activities they are going to , what they are having for dinner etc etc , with the windows and doors shut. Three generations living there and three children.
Our house is detached .

I don’t understand how your double glazing keeps out the sound of traffic but not your neighbours talking in their bathroom.

You are being a drama queen. You live in a detached house - there is no way you can hear all of the things you say you can. Stop looking for problems that don’t exist. 🙄

@SpringIsSpringing25 That's terrible! When I bought my terraced house 8 years ago, I specifically checked as I hate noise. The builder showed me a plan of the party wall construction. In effect, it was two separate houses, each with its own cavity wall, and a skin of bricks bridging the gap at the front and back. I thought that was standard but obviously not! I guess I was lucky. I'd advise anybody buying any house of any age to find out about noise.

I have my bathroom window open 24/7.

What the poster means is if she can hear them when she is in her garden from her house. Plus they are very noisy outside, early and late.

I am noise sensitive but that’s very sensitive. As you have the whole house to yourselves try switching bedrooms, one at the back of the house?

The DIY very early and late is not an unreasonable ask, it’s disturbing more than just you probably.

I don’t understand how you can hear them running up their stairs and talking in their house when you live in a detached house? I live in a detached new build house so not the best for sound and I have never heard my neighbours in their houses. I understand you hearing them in their garden and on the drive and how annoying that is because that’s happened on occasion to me and would drive me mad if it was constant. But how on earth can you hear them inside their house?

Can you change bedrooms? Sounds like you have spare rooms and it would help a lot.

@Motheroffive999were your children little when you moved in? Thinking about what your dh has said, maybe you a lot of children noise in your own house when you moved there and this helped you adapt to the traffic noise so that you can now ignore it.

now you’re older and your children gone, it sounds like you’re tuned in to particular sounds from the neighbours.

im not doubting what you say at all btw, its just interesting that a main road with cars and Lorries doesn’t bother you (which would be a big no no for many people) yet you can hear conversations from inside the next door detached house - even with the background of traffic noise.

I don’t really know what to suggest as the only unreasonable thing is the 6:30 am DIY and if they’re shouting outside the house very early or late, that’s pretty anti social. But the other stuff like the running upstairs conversations inside their house is something you’ll need to try to get used to.

I think how we process sound is a complex thing because honestly from your first post I assumed you must be in very closely built houses on a deadly quiet little development to hear so much from them. But now you’ve said they’re houses on a main road where presumably you have pretty constant traffic noise it’s odd that it’s the neighbour noise which bothers you so much

I disagree. I lived 15m or so from neighbouring house. I was going to go over one day with my camera to take pics of the herd of elephants they obviously had living in their house as it was utterly ridiculous for people to make that much noise walking around. Then again, they were happy for their tween girls to scream the neighbourhood down after getting into the outdoor, unheated pool in the middle of winter, so I doubt they cared too much about disturbing their neighbours.

But that’s not what you said:

”I know exactly who and when needs a poo , needs to put on deodorant, what activities they are going to , what they are having for dinner etc etc , with the windows and doors shut.”

Now you say it’s when you are in the garden. So I’m guessing you also sleep with your windows open to be able to hear through double glazing?

You’ll need to sleep with earplugs then you won’t hear them at night or early morning.

I’m not understanding this either. My house is a terrace and I don’t hear any of the things OP complains about in detached.

I think you should move.

Do you have your windows open? I can sympathise with the outside disturbance early in the morning, surely your surrounding neighbours are equally incensed. Have you spoken to them?

Are you correct in saying your house is detached? As in no walls are adjoining the neighbours house? How can you hear them in the bathroom through two brick walls and at the very least a couple of meters between you???

I’ve read a few posts this weekend that are completely bizarre. Folk throwing up all over caravans, upset their entire family can’t join a hen party to this. I’m starting to wonder what on earth is going on.

The idea that because you haven't personally experienced something then someone who has must be lying is...odd.

I don't understand how you hear all that in a detached house!
We live in a semi with bad sound proofing and sometimes do hear our neighbours but nothing like that!

I can see how 3 generations of noisy people could be noisy all day. Someone leaving for work at 5 am, disorganised kids getting ready for school -queuing for loo, DGPs home all day coming and going banging gate, tv blaring, teens in at 1am .
move OP

@Motheroffive999 it is quite confusing to read. Is it that both houses or one of the 2 houses has open windows? If you don’t have your windows open… they maybe do, which is why you can hear so much? So someone needs to shut the windows, they need to be more considerate when it’s early/late, and you need to wear a pair of earplugs (one obviously isn’t working).

And, as above, your neighbours aren’t a problem the NHS to try and solve with medication.

Oh they'll know how it affects OP...they just don't care. Similar with my own neighbour.

They just have different hours to you not a lot you can do about it. They are allowed to be disorganised. They are allowed to go up their own stairs. I'm sure they hear you too. Just in conversation ask them not to speak so loudly when going to their cars as it wakes you up. But do it nicely

This is madness OP your houses don’t even share walls.

we live in a new building and attached to next door (their bathroom!) and can’t hear anything.

you must have supersonic hearing to hear through 2 external brick walls and hear every wee and poo

Why are you wearing just one earplug? That's not going to do much. Wear a pair while sleeping, you can get ones that don't block all sounds if you are worried about not hearing alarms etc. Alternatively sleep with white noise or calming sounds to mask the neighbours.

It sounds as though you have tuned into the neighbours now, you need to distract yourself because a certain level of noise is unavoidable in suburban living.

When I move, I would definitely try to find out about any party walls and the construction of, but I'm not sure how easy that is with existing homes?! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the lottery will come good and I can buy something properly detach somewhere rural🤣🤣

As for my friend, they're renting from. HA, there isn't anywhere else for them to go to as Private rents around here are utterly ridiculous. It's kind of beside the point though because there are plenty of houses on their estate all by the same developers which are owned so it's not like they've been built cheaply because they are.HA.

It's hardly surprising though when you see them being thrown up and the materials are so flimsy,

I have also stayed at another friends who lives on a 'new build' Estate, it's probably about 12 to 15 years old now (I don't know what we're meant to be calling these things because we can't continue to call the new build for the next 20 years!!). They are big town houses and expensive, but you can hear so much noise from the neighbours, depending on what room is everyone's and you can definitely hear what they're saying!! Also obviously TV's etc.

🤞🏼🤞🏼 my lottery win!!

It really is!!

What is your house constructed of ?

This is very unusual.
It sounds like your house is the problem, not the neighbours.

Cheap new build built about 3ft from your neighbour?

EDIT: just seen it’s not! Ear plugs?

You are BU if you don’t expect to hear your neighbours in the garden especially if their window is open.
You're not BU to expect it to be quiet very early or very late but you are BU is you’ve not talked to the neighbours to politely explain.

Unless one lives in the middle of nowhere we have to tolerate other people going about their business. A little tolerance, a bit of mitigation (Loop earbuds at night) and a chat with the neighbours could sort this problem out.

Why do they have a gate attached to your wall?