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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours go to bed 1am and up at 5am we are knackered , detached house.

300 replies

Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 07:47

We can hear our neighbours running up and down the stairs , they shout in the house, they shout to each other from the house to the end of the garden.You can hear every word.We hear them in the bathroom , word for word.
The worst thing is that they get up early and shout at each other in the front garden and slam their car doors at least ten times because they are unorganized and spend ages packing the car / going back into the house and slamming their side gate.
Am I being unreasonable and a grumpy neighbour ?
I don't want to be woken up at 5 - 6 am every morning if I have been at work all week.
I am tearful and grumpy all the time.
If they come home at midnight I am asleep and I hear word for word what the are saying to each other, it's a conversation that could wait until they get inside.Of course slamming doors and telling each other who needs a wee or a poo or a cup of tea or a shower first.
I know exactly who and when needs a poo , needs to put on deodorant, what activities they are going to , what they are having for dinner etc etc , with the windows and doors shut. Three generations living there and three children.
Our house is detached .

OP posts:
daffodilandtulip · 19/04/2025 08:39

My neighbours are SO LOUD. Filling vans and slamming doors by 4:30am, noisy exhausts and bikes at 5am, squealing kids at 6am. Constant dogs barking. Power tools at all hours. Lots of antisocial bikers.

People just aren't considerate anymore.

DorothyStorm · 19/04/2025 08:39

Branleuse · 19/04/2025 08:20

you need soundproofing and to start sleeping with ear plugs

Soundproofing definitely.

do yku have windows open?

Anewuser · 19/04/2025 08:40

I call BS.

You’ve either got the word wrong, so attached (terraced) rather than detached or you’re lying.

I live in a detached house, one metre away from the neighbours, over 100 years old with single skin walls. Have been here twenty years so had lots of noisy neighbours but have never heard anyone using the stairs or toilet etc.

I also don’t believe they are up until 1am then back up at 5am closing car doors etc. They will be morning people or night people if they have three generations off family living there.

Lesleyann25 · 19/04/2025 08:41

Miyagi99 · 19/04/2025 07:54

Get some Loop earplugs. House must be made of cardboard!

I disagree why should anyone walk around in earplugs in their home.

Bellyblueboy · 19/04/2025 08:43

I had this in my old house. You could hear everything and the couple was loud - rows at 2am. I hated them so much😊.

i moved to a much better constructed semi detached. I very occasionally hear the kids run up the stairs - but only if I am on the stairs too. It’s heaven.

moving is expensive - but your problem neighbors won’t change and it sounds like the house is very poorly constructed.

Gettingbysomehow · 19/04/2025 08:43

I know how you feel. The young woman who lives opposite me with a street between us comes home at midnight with the music banging in her car and she sits in the car for a good 5 minutes listening to it before slamming her way out of the car and into the house. Wakes me up everytime.

Lesleyann25 · 19/04/2025 08:44

Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 07:47

We can hear our neighbours running up and down the stairs , they shout in the house, they shout to each other from the house to the end of the garden.You can hear every word.We hear them in the bathroom , word for word.
The worst thing is that they get up early and shout at each other in the front garden and slam their car doors at least ten times because they are unorganized and spend ages packing the car / going back into the house and slamming their side gate.
Am I being unreasonable and a grumpy neighbour ?
I don't want to be woken up at 5 - 6 am every morning if I have been at work all week.
I am tearful and grumpy all the time.
If they come home at midnight I am asleep and I hear word for word what the are saying to each other, it's a conversation that could wait until they get inside.Of course slamming doors and telling each other who needs a wee or a poo or a cup of tea or a shower first.
I know exactly who and when needs a poo , needs to put on deodorant, what activities they are going to , what they are having for dinner etc etc , with the windows and doors shut. Three generations living there and three children.
Our house is detached .

I have moved and the peace is unreal it took me 4 months to settle after feeling on edge. A young family lived next door to me. The mother was a complete psycho and scream at her 3 year old for hours every day. It put me and my daughter on edge. I ended up telling her that her behaviour was disgusting towards the child and an all out war broke out. So glad to be away from it as it was taking all of my peace of mind.

ihmysrn · 19/04/2025 08:45

Did you use the wrong word? How on earth can you hear someone going up and downstairs and to the toilet in a detached house?

Original poster
Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 08:46

Thank you all for your replies.
It is a 1930s house , detached , I wear one ear plug if it's bad , my husband thinks that as our children have all moved out and We are now older that I am more aware of the noise as our house is now quiet.My husband says that they really do shout .
We have double glazing and live on a main road and I am not disturbed by traffic / lorries or buses.The youngest child is around 12 years old but there are 4 adults and they do have lots of family visitors . Where as I only have our adult children visit and no Grandchildren ( yet )
I am also at home alot more so my husband thinks that I am hearing it all because I like to read and sit in my garden and not have TV or music because it annoys me.I like bird song , nature sounds etc .
I only hear them in their bathroom if I am in my bedroom or front garden.
I think I only hear the children on the stairs because they run up and down them.I don't think I can hear the adults.
They also do DIY , jobs in the garage at around 6.30 am or 10 pm at night.
I am going to ask my GP for sleeping tablets .

OP posts:
Galliano · 19/04/2025 08:46

milleniumstar · 19/04/2025 08:23

You can hear every word.We hear them in the bathroom , word for word.

Isn't this referring to inside?

I thought maybe the OP was in the bathroom and hearing neighbours in garden. Possibly projecting because I have my bathroom window open most of the time!

JohnofWessex · 19/04/2025 08:46

My first house was a Pre WW1 terrace.

All had the corridors/stairs on the same side so there was a gap except at the main bedrooms at the top.

One of my neighbours apologised after the event for their party & I replied 'what party'

gattocattivo · 19/04/2025 08:47

If they are literally centimetres apart as some posters seem to suggest, presumably there wouldn’t be windows on walls which face each other as you wouldn’t be able to open them. So it’s still a mystery how the OP is hearing word for word conversations from their house.

also, I thought regulations had tightened over recent years about soundproofing and insulation so I’d be surprised if this is a very new house.

probably the worst for detached would be an 80s build, where new estates have tightly packed houses and maybe before regs about insulation were as rigorous? Early than that, detached houses were often more solidly built on bigger plots with space around them.

that said, even if this is a badly built 1980s house, it’s hard to see how the OP is hearing conversations from inside another detached house. Perhaps the OP will return and explain…

Isobel201 · 19/04/2025 08:47

I used to live in an old victorian terraced house that was in a block with others around it, and I did have neighbours that I could hear. I got used to hearing the toilets flushing, but then one neighbour moved in and everytime visitors came over, I could hear them word for word. I moved out eventually and sold it. I'm now in a newer modern three floor townhouse and I can hear my neighbour occasionally when he comes home from abroad, but nowhere near as bad.

Original poster
Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 08:50

Anewuser · 19/04/2025 08:40

I call BS.

You’ve either got the word wrong, so attached (terraced) rather than detached or you’re lying.

I live in a detached house, one metre away from the neighbours, over 100 years old with single skin walls. Have been here twenty years so had lots of noisy neighbours but have never heard anyone using the stairs or toilet etc.

I also don’t believe they are up until 1am then back up at 5am closing car doors etc. They will be morning people or night people if they have three generations off family living there.

Until you are living in my shoes please do not tell me that I am lying.

OP posts:
gattocattivo · 19/04/2025 08:51

Cross post there so the OP has explained a little more.

@Motheroffive999it sounds as though you’ve become particularly sensitive to certain noises. You say you’re on a main road but don’t mind cars and Lorries thundering past. Now that’s the sort of thing that would send me crazy and I just wouldn’t ever buy a house situated there. But you’ve adapted to it and are able to ignore it. Perhaps the children and visitor noise is more recent.

I do however thing DIY at 6:30 am is really out of order. It would be quite reasonable to speak to them about that, but on the other hand it’s something you may need to declare if you ever wish to sell your house so I would think carefully before raising a complaint.

Marshtit · 19/04/2025 08:52

i would speak to them, let them know how you are suffering.

Eagle2025 · 19/04/2025 08:52

Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 08:50

Until you are living in my shoes please do not tell me that I am lying.

Show quote history

Have you spoken to your neighbours? The DIY for example at very early or late hours. Could you talk to them about that and see what they say? Maybe they dont realise how its affecting you.

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 19/04/2025 08:53

Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 08:46

Thank you all for your replies.
It is a 1930s house , detached , I wear one ear plug if it's bad , my husband thinks that as our children have all moved out and We are now older that I am more aware of the noise as our house is now quiet.My husband says that they really do shout .
We have double glazing and live on a main road and I am not disturbed by traffic / lorries or buses.The youngest child is around 12 years old but there are 4 adults and they do have lots of family visitors . Where as I only have our adult children visit and no Grandchildren ( yet )
I am also at home alot more so my husband thinks that I am hearing it all because I like to read and sit in my garden and not have TV or music because it annoys me.I like bird song , nature sounds etc .
I only hear them in their bathroom if I am in my bedroom or front garden.
I think I only hear the children on the stairs because they run up and down them.I don't think I can hear the adults.
They also do DIY , jobs in the garage at around 6.30 am or 10 pm at night.
I am going to ask my GP for sleeping tablets .

We, too, keep a quiet household (at least right now!) where we like to read etc, without the television on, and I do think this makes a massive difference to our ability to hear neighbours. I empathise. Perhaps some background music could help.

Inmydreams88 · 19/04/2025 08:55

I live in a detached new build and have never heard our neighbours inside their house. The only time is when they are outside either walking past our house with their kids or if we are both in our gardens.

Original poster
Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 08:55

milleniumstar · 19/04/2025 08:23

You can hear every word.We hear them in the bathroom , word for word.

Isn't this referring to inside?

I hear them in the bathroom shouting , hair wash time , taking too long etc if I am in my bedroom or front garden.Which if it is 5am it wakes me up.
Their side gate is attached to our wall which shakes.

OP posts:
Brutalist · 19/04/2025 08:57

Would be amazed if you get sleeping tablets prescribed for noisy neighbours. That’s not what they’re for. How will a week or two of sleeping tablets help longer term? Noise exclusion is what you need.

Have a calm conversation with the neighbours (they’re likely totally unaware of how loud they are) and wear 2 earplugs overnight.

redphonecase · 19/04/2025 08:58

Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 08:46

Thank you all for your replies.
It is a 1930s house , detached , I wear one ear plug if it's bad , my husband thinks that as our children have all moved out and We are now older that I am more aware of the noise as our house is now quiet.My husband says that they really do shout .
We have double glazing and live on a main road and I am not disturbed by traffic / lorries or buses.The youngest child is around 12 years old but there are 4 adults and they do have lots of family visitors . Where as I only have our adult children visit and no Grandchildren ( yet )
I am also at home alot more so my husband thinks that I am hearing it all because I like to read and sit in my garden and not have TV or music because it annoys me.I like bird song , nature sounds etc .
I only hear them in their bathroom if I am in my bedroom or front garden.
I think I only hear the children on the stairs because they run up and down them.I don't think I can hear the adults.
They also do DIY , jobs in the garage at around 6.30 am or 10 pm at night.
I am going to ask my GP for sleeping tablets .

Kindly, and as a GP, please don't waste an appt for this. It's not a medical issue and you won't get them.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 19/04/2025 08:58

I'm easily disturbed by the sound of my dog scratching in her bed on the landing and I don't sleep well. So I run an audio book with something nice and soothing beside the bed or a fan. The sound cuts out background noise for me and keeps me asleep (as long as it's not a thrilling book). Might be worth considering, OP.

Eagle2025 · 19/04/2025 08:59

Motheroffive999 · 19/04/2025 08:55

I hear them in the bathroom shouting , hair wash time , taking too long etc if I am in my bedroom or front garden.Which if it is 5am it wakes me up.
Their side gate is attached to our wall which shakes.

Show quote history

Is there the option to sleep at the back of your house instead of the front? Not ideal having to move rooms but if the majority of the noise is coming from the front then it would help you get more sleep.

Reallybadidea · 19/04/2025 09:00

Being loud outside early in the morning/late at night is really inconsiderate but some people just don't think to moderate their behaviour to reduce the impact on other people.