Parents come to stay, but then bugger off out

[Lovemelovemydogz]

Would this bother you.

See my parents maybe 3 x per year, due to distance. My Dc had a party today, so Dh took her so I could stay home with my parents, who then proceeded to go out for a two hour walk, so i’m sat in the house alone, when I could’ve gone to the party and caught up with friends.
It’s the same if we decide to have a day at home if Dd is tired, they go out and don’t really spend time with us.

Aibu to be a bit put out by it?

Well that's where we will disagree then. I believe there is a very fine line and believe that routine is important which the op feels doesn't need as more replies came back. you can sit and watch box sets in normal clothes same with snuggle on a sofa on clothes. you can feel comfortable in your home dressed. if someone was staying especially I have to get dressed.

Are you quite young OP? You sound it.

I agree with pp you should speak to your parents to avoid this happening.

If you'd pre arranged to sit around watching tv all day with your parents then I agree they were rude to go out.

But it sounds like you expected them to follow your lead, without actually telling them that's what you were expecting.

Maybe they didn't enjoy the show as much as you did. Again, did you ask them?

So why on earth do you find it odd that they preferred to go for a walk, rather than watching TV in PJ’s then? You do you, they obviously don’t want to do you. A two hrs walk clearly says that.

Sounds like you are sulking because not everyone wanted to slob around in PJ’s watching daytime TV like you. And you are so surprised you write a post about it.

Jeans are comfies 😁

To me, that sounds like you wanted to be left alone to watch your programme - so maybe your parents felt a bit awkward sitting there while you were occupied.

I know when I stay at my parents and their watching their “shows” it does feel a bit odd just sitting there so I tend to go off and do something else.

Bit of a weird thread - total non issues.

There is nothing wrong with having a chill out day in your pjs when your parents are around esp if staying for a fortnight and you have been out loads.
There is nothing wrong with parents going for a walk esp if staying for a fortnight and you have done loads together.

For a couple that must be now used to just living as a couple, spending time with a family may feel loud and claustrophobic. Going for a daily walk may also be part of their routine.

Let them go for their walk, you potter and chill at home and perhaps suggest you all catch go with the series in the afternoon together.

The issue of ADLs (getting dressed) and routine is very important but for those that do not have jobs/roles that create a routine and structure for them. Common examples are retirees who no longer have the routine of work, commuting, family responsibilities. No reason to actually shower, dress etc so can quickly slip into decline.

OP who has a family will very much a have a routine - whether it be the school run, work, household tasks etc. An occasional day or weekend to lounge in pyjamas will not spell disaster for her.

God there’s some stuck-up Hyacinth Buckets on this thread.. 😂

I really hate it when I visit people and they put the tv on. I find it really rude and if local to me I would go home. I’m a busy person (as are most people) and I do not want to spend my time watching tv.
Your parents may be different and love Tv and you did say your mum was watching it with you but just giving you a different perspective. Could they have gone out as they can’t stand the tv?

What happens when you go visit them? Do they entertain you, or do you go off and do things?

OP was so confused why her parents left to go out that she started a thread about it. When most of us can see the obvious reason.

I couldn’t give a shit if OP or anyone else wears PJ’s all day. Or watches TV. But I do understand why her parents went for a 2 hr walk.

You need to communicate.
If they’re with you for two weeks, I can imagine them having a convo before arrival saying to each other ‘we mustn’t get in their hair, make sure they feel like they still have their own space etc’. Two weeks is a long time to stay at someone’s home.
If you want more time with them, you should just say so!

Two weeks is a long time for a visit.
If you've already done lots of stuff together maybe they just thought they'd give you a break?

I’m not on about the walk, that’s totally normal to need breaks on such a long visit.
It was the slobbing in pjs watching daytime tv comment, when that’s such a normal thing to do for most people on days off.

It might be, yeah. Who cares what people do in their own home. By themselves. OP had her parents staying, and is confused why they didn’t ask her to go for a walk or even why they went for a walk. Why ask someone who is in their PJ’s watching TV in the afternoon. Most people would assume OP was doing what she wanted to do, and not getting dressed to go outside.

They’re there for two weeks, you’ve done loads with them already, their granddaughter is out and you’re sobbing around watching TV - I suspect they’re there to spend time with their grandchild, not diss about with you watching TV during the daytime. They have their own life and their own routines and preferences where they live, they’re staying in someone else’s home for two whole weeks with their routines out the window. I’d be delighted if they took whatever breaks they needed. Going out for a walk is much more of a break than sitting around watching TV during the day.

Careful what you wish for there here for 2 weeks
id discuss plans with them in the morning think you’ve just presumed they wouldn’t go out and want to be with u 24/7

It's not her parents day off though is it? They are presumably retired and so can have as many slobby PJ days as they like!

What are you on about?
I’m on about OP and people in general being allowed to slob around in pjs. The poster I was replying to was being snobby about it. I’m not on about the parents at all.

I know but you wouldn't do it while you had visitors staying would you?

Of course, if I feel relaxed around them and same vice versa.. it shows a relaxed and close relationship.

Did you ask your parents if they wanted to watch the TV program? If not then you are a poor host and I’m glad that they felt able to go out and do something enjoyable.

Like I said, I couldn’t give a shit if people wear PJ’s all day for the rest of the year. So what are YOU on about. OP’s question was about her parents. So that is what we’re replying to.

I wonder if you're like me and my inlaws but in reverse? I go a bit mad and fidgety sitting around all day with no exercise. I do sometimes have to take myself off for a brisk walk when it becomes clear there are no plans to go anywhere. They are in their 80s though!