Parents come to stay, but then bugger off out

[Lovemelovemydogz]

Would this bother you.

See my parents maybe 3 x per year, due to distance. My Dc had a party today, so Dh took her so I could stay home with my parents, who then proceeded to go out for a two hour walk, so i’m sat in the house alone, when I could’ve gone to the party and caught up with friends.
It’s the same if we decide to have a day at home if Dd is tired, they go out and don’t really spend time with us.

Aibu to be a bit put out by it?

I would feel totally suffocated if I was expected to not do anything independent for two weeks.

Are you much more of an extrovert OP? You get your energy from being with people?

Try to strike a balance so everyone is comfortable.

Perhaps they didn’t want to sit about in pjs watching tv?

Are you saying your parents just got up and went out? They didn't say where they were going or communicate with you at all?

In general I don't see an issue with long-staying guests doing their own thing (in fact, I'd encourage it) but I genuinely don't know anyone who would just up and leave without so much as a goodbye.

Wow what does it matter if it's 2 weeks, communicate better though. You could have gone to the party then
Yabu.

If they’re here for 2 weeks and you were sitting around watching tv I think it’s fine they went for a walk.

Either arrange things to do with them, or let them suit themselves but don’t complain when they do.

Maybe they thought you were tired and needed some rest?

Especially not on a bank holiday afternoon! Maybe they thought it'd be nice to get some adult time without DH and your DD, and weren't too impressed that you'd rather sit in front of the TV in your jammies?

Sounds like they’re just using you as free accommodation and meals whilst they have a holiday.

Can you shorten the visits to 3 nights?

Or maybe they're a bit pissed off that their DD would rather watch TV in her jammies than spend quality time with them?

They're there for two weeks you're in your pyjamas watching TV, everyone else is out, in their shoes I'd have made myself scarce too

Aren’t you reaching? There’s no indication they even asked OP to go for a walk with them.

Why? What would your thinking be?

Hang on - you're the one who just posted that they're "using OP for free food and accommodation" (which there is also no indication of) and you're accusing me of reaching?

Honestly? That you're being a bit rude and don't really want to spend time with them.

OP clearly says they do this repeatedly, go out and hardly spend time with her and the dc. So it’s not reaching to say they use OP for accommodation.

She doesn't say it happens repeatedly at all - she just says it also happens if DD is tired and they stay at home.

Anyway, maybe they don't spend time with her because she's sat in her jammies watching TV? I mean, that kind of screams "I can't be arsed" to me.

I absolutely love it when guests entertain themselves for a bit, and if I go to stay with someone I usually need a bit of alone time too so I would definitely go out for a walk or something for a couple of hours, especially if there weren't any specific plans I was supposed to be involved in.

What time was it when you were in your pj’s watching tv, and they went for a walk?

But why? We were all relaxed watching tv, Dh took the car so we couldn’t make huge plans to go anywhere anyway

She clearly says ‘It’s the same if we decide to have a day at home if Dd is tired, they go out and don’t really spend time with us.’

So it’s a repeated occurrence.

My ILs are a bit like this too. They live abroad so come over for longer periods but less regularly. They will often say things like ‘we’ll go out now and leave you in peace’ when actually we’d rather they stayed, as we like their company and miss them when they’re not around! I think it’s a combination of needed some space from the hustle and bustle of our house (3 kids), and genuinely thinking they’re getting under our feet (they’re not).

Honestly, it just comes across like you're not really bothered about them being there - if I only saw my parents three times a year, I'd have asked DH to drop us somewhere for a meal, or in town while he went to the party so we could spend some time together. I wouldn't just assume they were happy to sit at home in front of the TV all afternoon while I hadn't even gotten dressed.

Is this a reverse?

That's not "using someone for free accommodation" it's not wanting to sit around in someone else's house when I'm only in the area for a short amount of time.

I would do the same if I was on my holidays and my hosts just wanted to stay home all day.

Of course send dd to the party,you’d not cancel because GP stayying
Yes it’s a bit off they went out but just let them do their thing. You do your thing
You’re not compelled to spend 24/7 with them
organise a few dinners,some trips, time with dd. Then let them do what they want