For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

[untitled1]

First-time mom here needing some perspective.

My son will be exactly 2 weeks old this Friday. My husband’s father is celebrating his birthday and there will be about 20 people attending the party. I

I’ve expressed that I’m not comfortable bringing our newborn to a gathering with that many people.

I know his grandmother is going to be upset and think I’m being silly or overprotective. My husband is also keen on introducing our son to people - he even wants to bring him to his workplace to show him off which I’ve now put a stop to until he’s 4 weeks at least.

I understand everyone is excited to meet the baby, but I’m worried about exposing him to so many people when his immune system is still developing. At the same time, I don’t want to cause family tension or disappoint everyone.

Am I being unreasonable or overprotective here?

What would you do in this situation and when would you introduce newborns to larger groups of people?

At two weeks I wouldn't be meeting more than two or three people indoors.

I'd have loved showing my baby off to everyone but I suppose you can't choose how you feel. Just have a think if you'd feel different if it was your side of the family and remember he's your husbands baby too.

Lots of people to love your baby is a gift.

Germs are unavoidable but we're out of winter flu season and you can get people to wash hands, tuck baby away in a sling if you don't want them passed around loads. Breastfeeding is great for immunity.

I would go. Even for a wee while. You don't need to pass him around if you're uncomfortable with that, but I'd be excited to show him off to the wider family. Especially on his GD's birthday.

I take it he’s your first born OP?

Calibrate it against other things you’re doing.

Id you’re doing supermarkets, baby groups, going out for a meal - then it’s no different.

If you’re doing home and minimal visitors and just walks in the fresh air then it’s a bit different.

It’s all personal choice but I would take the baby. I have a Christmas baby so had a large family Christmas at 4 days old, but I was super comfy with that. Could you pop in for an hour or so?

I would take him, it would not occur to me not too, but then I would not soend time worrying about things he could catch, because he probably won't.

I think you're being too overprotective. If you don't want to take him for whatever reason that is obviously a choice you and your DH can make but I don't think you should be worried about his immune system.

Two weeks is so tiny. Stay home and rest. Visitors can come to you. Showing off is 6 weeks plus. I preferred more like 8 weeks.

Ok, maybe I should go then, it’s also because usually we don’t get invited for such events and I just feel like my child is being on show. I’m probably overthinking it

I'd be the same as you OP (with my third baby, as well as my first and second).

Whilst I understand the grandparents will be upset, a baby's health trumps the grandparents needs to show off their new grandchild...

It is a nice thing to have so many people around you who love your baby, but that bond can be built over time... It doesn't need to be shared with every Tom, Dick and Harry at a party when the baby is two weeks old.

You couldn’t stop me from being out and about with all 3 of mine. My point is you think it’s exposing I think enriching.

Yes there will be people who think you’re being a bit silly (me) so you need to get a thick skin. Plus your dh also gets to have an opinion.

I do think you’re being overprotective. My children were exposed to large groups of people very early on and they didn’t get ill any more than your average child.
Of course, insist on good hygiene if people don’t use their common sense but your baby should be fine OP. You could always go and then stay as long as you’re comfortable.

Well I took my 1 week old to our new years family gathering. Many years ago. There were about 18 people there. It was lovely to show her off. It’s just not something that I bothered about. Family is important. I think if the babies father really wants to go and I felt recovered enough I’d be going.

Maybe I should wear my sling but I haven’t worn it yet as I had a c section and think it’s perhaps not a good idea?

I’d probably just have him in the car seat tbh

I don’t trust DH to take him without me though he would pass him to everyone.

What do you think will happen if people hold your baby OP? Genuine question. If you tell us what specifically worries you then maybe we can help a bit more.

@Chocolate85immine systems for babies do not develop until 4 weeks plus - it takes only one of them to hold him that has a cold for him to get very sick

This. Good luck OP.

We celebrated Christmas 3 weeks after ds was born with both sides of the family and went to a christening a week after our youngest was born

each to their own but we didn’t pass our babies around, wear a sling so you don’t have to .

I wore a sling quite early on after having a C-section, but I had previous experience of carrying in a sling with another baby. I found people were less likely to invade MY personal space to see baby, compared to when baby was in the pram or a car seat.

Taking the baby in a car seat is a good idea, but is the guidance still around limiting time for a baby to be in a car seat?

If you've just had a C-section, without even thinking about your baby, do you feel well enough to go? Be kind to yourself OP. Enjoy your new baby.

At two weeks old your baby has all of your immunity so I think it’s fine from an infection perspective especially if you are sensible.

more pertinent is how you feel physically and emotionally and whether you feel up to such a big occasion personally. At two weeks I wouldn’t have. I was establishing feeding and had been unwell with mastitis. I think it’s more about your needs than the baby’s.

@untitled1 I am well aware of babies developmental stages so thanks for that. I would hope that people with a cold would use their common sense and not hold a newborn or go near that baby. If you go too then you can control that.

Also I have 3 other children so couldn't keep the fourth away from colds and germs as a newborn. Obviously you want to avoid it when possible but it's easy to be very anxious about these things and likely baby will be fine. Have a lovely time 😀

It’s amazing all these babies born in hospitals with all those people and all those germs,,,,

Anyway, I would take my baby and see no issue. Presumable the baby will be sleeping or you are feeding anyway?

I wouldn’t go, OP. He’s a two week old baby and you’re only two week’s postpartum. There will be many, many other opportunities for a family gathering when he’s a little older.