For not taking 2-week old to his granddads birthday?

[untitled1]

First-time mom here needing some perspective.

My son will be exactly 2 weeks old this Friday. My husband’s father is celebrating his birthday and there will be about 20 people attending the party. I

I’ve expressed that I’m not comfortable bringing our newborn to a gathering with that many people.

I know his grandmother is going to be upset and think I’m being silly or overprotective. My husband is also keen on introducing our son to people - he even wants to bring him to his workplace to show him off which I’ve now put a stop to until he’s 4 weeks at least.

I understand everyone is excited to meet the baby, but I’m worried about exposing him to so many people when his immune system is still developing. At the same time, I don’t want to cause family tension or disappoint everyone.

Am I being unreasonable or overprotective here?

What would you do in this situation and when would you introduce newborns to larger groups of people?

There are some really nasty viruses around at the moment, and several of my friends have been really laid low with them.

@untitled1 I don't think you are being over cautious at all. Ignore everyone's anecdotes, they aren't relevant to you. Do what you feel comfortable doing.

I would have taken the baby i don't get the need to live in a bubble thing

Don’t feel any pressure to go. You don’t even have to give a reason. You’ve just had major surgery and are probably up all night with the baby. Just say you don’t feel up to it on the day.
For the first 4-6 weeks I was happiest at home, getting in tune with the baby, feeding, resting when I could. With my first and second. Everyone is different, some people love to be out and about. It’s completely up to you and everyone I know gives the Mum a free pass for the first few months to do exactly what suits her and the baby. I’m sure you will have her GPs over to see her soon, no need to show her off to a big group if you’d rather not. Take care ❤️

The newborn phase is so short and so precious, I would think what you and your husband collectively want to do, and do that.

Whatever your reasons, you aren't being unreasonable. You've just had surgery for a start, and infection aside (I don't actually think people with a cold etc will stay away, particularly with alcohol on board), being passed around multiple people is known to be very stressful for babies.

If you do I'd suggest one of you wearing a sling, staying for an hour tops and having a code word to escape earlier if you need, but personally I would be staying at home.

Good lord I couldn't think of anything worse. I remember having my boobs out all the time at 2 weeks post partum with various amounts of poop and vomit on me as well. Madness to do all of this in a different setting.
To those who say would you feel different if it was your side? in my case, maybe. it's easier to be hormonal and shouty with your own than in laws.
Do not feel obliged to do anything you don't want to do. You've just had a baby and need to rest. It's not like you're being precious and stopping them from seeing the little one.
Flu season maybe over but Noravirus is everywhere at the moment. Stay home OP.

You should be resting at home for the first 6 weeks. Especially after a c-section.

So should your baby. Bit too much, too soon.

I'm a bit concerned about the bit about your DH wanting to take the baby into his work and "I put a stop to that".

I'd take the baby. Baby will sleep through most of it anyway at 2 weeks old. I don't see the issue. Just go for a few hours?

Literally says so in the OP

It’s your bloke’s grandfather, isn’t it @untitled1? The first chance for four generations to be in the same room, that’s special. Why not go, stay a short time, let them take a photo of him with his dad, grandad and great grandad, then leave? It won’t do any harm and will mean a lot to them.

Absolutely not. Mind yourself.
Babies being passed around can unsettle them and hurt their new soft bones.
I wouldn't.

It's your husband's baby too! Maybe he'd like to show HIS new baby off...?

Can you just go for an hour ? Two weeks after a C Section I should think you need as much rest as you can get with a newborn.
Congratulations on your baby.

I've not read the replies so I don't know if I'm in step with others or not, but I would go.

I went to a wake when ds2 was similar age and there was loads of people there.

No idea if it made a difference or not but I kept ds1 away from crowds for a while, (pfb of course!) probably until he was at least 2 months maybe more. Ds1 was permanently snotty and while not ill not 100% for a while.
No issues of colds or snot with ds2.
It could be because ds2 mixed more early on, I dont know.
However , although it was a family funeral it meant relatives got to see him all at the same time and it took pressure of home visits!

OP how much of this is about germs and how much about what you've posted here?

There's obviously a back story to this about yours and DH's relationships with his family. Are you feeling that normally they don't bother with you and taking the baby would be rewarding them for poor behaviour? I would understand that feeling if there's history.

What's DH's feelings about his family?

Go but wear him in a sling

I took my newborn to an event at that age. i put him in a baby carrier to prevent passing him around to people asking to cuddle him. Thankfully he mostly slept so it was easy to keep him to myself. And he’s my second child.

If your baby was just a few days old I could understand your reticence but at 2 weeks? It's fine.

I also had a c-section. As long as you aren't standing for too long or in a car, you'll probably be fine. The baby will be absolutely okay.

Yes, popping in for an hour should be OK.

It’s your baby, it’s your post partum journey. Do what you feel comfortable with.
if you’re confident enough to go, then go.
if you feel that maybe leaving the house whilst probably still wearing an adult nappy to socialise with 20 people is too much, then stay at home.
congratulations on the baby x

I would not go. I was pressured by my babies dad to have visitors I was not comfortable with/go out etc -i wish id have said no.

Once baby is 4+ weeks old ad you have a routine, then mabey yes!

Please don’t leave him in the car seat, it’s a very unnatural position and baby should be in it for more than 30 mins. Use the sling if you can. If it was mid winter I’d probably say don’t go but now there’s less bugs I think I would go for a short time and have baby in sling (I’ve had a section too)

You've had a c section as well? I would not be going. Why do they want to see you breastfeeding a tiny baby, because that's all he will be doing. The lazy fuckers can come and visit you in due time. Also your pelvic floor needs a rest, you aren't supposed to be even walking around much.

If your partner ever has bollock surgery I'd be planning a massive family do two weeks later so he can parade himself around.

Babies have antibodies passed on from their mother's during pregnancy. And also breast milk if BF.

If small babies have such poor immune systems why don't they all get seriously ill with snotty toddler siblings all over them

Unless you've got some scientific evidence for this, do not share false information to an already anxious mother.

Unsettled yes, maybe, if they're constantly being passed around.

Hurting their bones?! Have you seen how they're removed during a c-section? It would take some rough handling to 'hurt' a newborns bones.