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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trans people

999 replies

Mog65 · 17/04/2025 16:46

Firstly, I'm a trans ally

Everyone is up in arms about trans women. What seems to be forgotten these people are human beings. Where is humanity. You have probably been sharing toilets and coming into contact with trans women every day and have no idea. You only hear about the few bad ones. In a public toilet, you go into a cubical and pee. Its not like you're sat there in full public view with your knickers at your ankles.

What has been forgotten also, as many females are changing to. So trans men. So you're in hospital in a ward. The woman in the next bed, identifys as George, clit is now a penis fully working and you're in the next bed! Same person can wander around female only spaces as the law has changed. George can now only be searched by a female. By the way George a transgender man is a pervert! All hypothetical but nobody has brought this up.

Just a thought.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
41
AccidentallyWesAnderson · 18/04/2025 10:40

Has anyone trotting out the ‘it’s cis men not trans women that’s the real problem’ answered how we are able to tell the difference between a man who wants to do us harm from a trans women who doesn’t? Are they suddenly devoid of causing harm because they say they are a woman?

Anyone have any stats on all the attacks on trans women in the male bogs that they’re so scared of using?

Lastly it’s not just about attacks. I just don’t want males in spaces they should be. That includes all the lovely males in my life whom I confident wouldn’t harm anyone (if they woke up tomorrow and had different feelings about themselves).

Merrymouse · 18/04/2025 10:40

Lostcat · 18/04/2025 10:33

Actually both the clitoris and the penis develop from the same tissue. In some people the presence of testosterone causes this tissue to elongate. So really the difference is a question of size - regulated by hormones- which are also variable. This leads to genitalia in individuals with different hormonal balances that can be ambiguous. At what point does a clitoris become a micro penis for example?

Don’t agree with this.

You can’t wee out of a clitoris and it isn’t part of the reproductive process. You might as well argue that plants are all the same if they are produced from similar seeds.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 10:41

LobeliaBaggins · 18/04/2025 10:28

@KarmaKameelion I agree there is way too much emphasis on toilets.

Sure. But the discussion is important as it is a space that most female people need to use and it is the space that is the most contentious because there are more female people who are willing to dismiss the needs of other female people in the discussion around toilets. Sadly. At least, now there is more consensus around the exclusion of males in other female single sex spaces.

I wish it was not still a point that we had to discuss at all though.

Waitwhat23 · 18/04/2025 10:42

TRA's have made the emphasis (deliberately) on toilets because they can shriek 'they just need to peee!!!' rather than addressing other situations which they might find it a bit harder to defend - male sex offenders being placed into the female prison estate with vulnerable women, female rape survivors being turned away from rape crisis services and told to 'reframe your trauma', women being raped on what is meant to be a single sex ward and the NHS gaslighting the Police and the victim by claiming it can't have happened because there were 'no men there'.

Better for them to grandstand with protests pouring bottles of piss over themselves (and yes, that actually happened) than face up to the fact that it's not all about 'they just need to peeee!!!!'

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 18/04/2025 10:43

You’re statically very unlikely to be burgled in your lifetime. People still lock doors etc. You safeguard for the tiny minority who may harm you, not for the majority who won’t. That includes men, regardless of who they say they are.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 10:43

Lostcat · 18/04/2025 10:33

Actually both the clitoris and the penis develop from the same tissue. In some people the presence of testosterone causes this tissue to elongate. So really the difference is a question of size - regulated by hormones- which are also variable. This leads to genitalia in individuals with different hormonal balances that can be ambiguous. At what point does a clitoris become a micro penis for example?

Or is this a post modernist exercise? If someone says a clitoris is a penis, it must be considered a penis?

Lostcat · 18/04/2025 10:43

Merrymouse · 18/04/2025 10:40

Don’t agree with this.

You can’t wee out of a clitoris and it isn’t part of the reproductive process. You might as well argue that plants are all the same if they are produced from similar seeds.

both these things are also true of some penises though.

Im not saying there aren’t differences, but as usual the reality is more nuanced than people try to claim. There isn’t the sharp/ mutually exclusive binary people think there is and these things are variable- a function of hormonal balances and also medical interventions such as surgeries.

AnSolas · 18/04/2025 10:43

AInightingale · 18/04/2025 08:56

Webberley on X yesterday:

'Message to the little ladies out there nervously clutching their handbags, fumbling for their pearl necklaces, waiting for the Supreme Court to decide whether their precious space might be invaded: By those terrifying creatures with.… a PENIS. Here's an idea: Get a life.'
And:
'This Dad [a man who objected to adult men in changing rooms] is sending a clear message to his nine year old daughter that men are to be feared. No they are not, stop giving young girls this message.'

Those who would harm and endanger children and are cavalier about women's protections are ALWAYS on the same side.

Well why should anyone take notice of an individual who decided to off-shore their drug dispensing club membership business out of the State?
With it and them not paying tax which funds community services like GP's and hospitals and medical grade drugs?
While escaping/circumventing the other legal regulation put in place by the State to protect medical patients while leaving the UK employees/contractors with their legal obligations?

Who was it that had a melt down when the State reminded everyone to reviewed the foreign prescriptions policy?

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 10:44

Lostcat · 18/04/2025 10:43

both these things are also true of some penises though.

Im not saying there aren’t differences, but as usual the reality is more nuanced than people try to claim. There isn’t the sharp/ mutually exclusive binary people think there is and these things are variable- a function of hormonal balances and also medical interventions such as surgeries.

Edited

So, we are again using people's medical conditions to support false claims.

Totallymessed · 18/04/2025 10:45

Teddlesisagoodboy · 18/04/2025 10:08

You guys make everything up, that picture of trans people in prison someone shared up thread is completely made up. Do you not fact check anything? There aren't even that many trans people in prison.

Is this satire? It can be so hard to tell.

Lostcat · 18/04/2025 10:46

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 10:44

So, we are again using people's medical conditions to support false claims.

No. We are once again challenging simplistic and false statements about bodies that are being erroneously trotted out to promote a harmful political agenda, by telling the actual truth and educating people about the complexity and diversity of human bodies as they exist in the real world.

MyWiseGoose · 18/04/2025 10:47

Shegotanology · 17/04/2025 17:07

I'm not quite sure why women are so scared of trans women.
They've been around for longer than people realise without much fanfair.
I don't know of anyone assaulted by a trans person. I'm not saying that doesn't happen but it's not something you see in comparison to how many women are killed by men.

It's not just about physical violence thought a sexual abuser in women prison abused another woman. How about for example a case in America in an Asian spa where a mom and a very young girl had to witness two trans women with their dicks out in the spa? You think that's okay??

BrilliantBrilliant · 18/04/2025 10:48

Teddlesisagoodboy · 18/04/2025 09:55

I never or anyone I know has ever been assaulted by a trans woman in a toilet ITS A MADE UP ISSUE. I have been assaulted by men in broad daylight, in the street, in a club surrounded by people, at home, in relationships. Men are more of an issue than trans women, there are more of them too.

Made up issue?

https://www.aol.com/news/transgender-woman-convicted-sexually-assaulting-144630744.html

This 'woman' or correctly term biological man used the cloke of trans to attack a girl

Transgender woman convicted of sexually assaulting 10-year-old girl in bathroom

A Wyoming transgender woman was convicted Thursday of sexually assaulting a 10-year-old girl inside a bathroom.

https://www.aol.com/news/transgender-woman-convicted-sexually-assaulting-144630744.html

Waitwhat23 · 18/04/2025 10:50

MyWiseGoose · 18/04/2025 10:47

It's not just about physical violence thought a sexual abuser in women prison abused another woman. How about for example a case in America in an Asian spa where a mom and a very young girl had to witness two trans women with their dicks out in the spa? You think that's okay??

If this is the Wi Spa case, the person with his dick out in the female space of the Spa was a convicted sex offender no less. But women were told that the little girls just shouldn't look, because it's rude.

KarmaKameelion · 18/04/2025 10:50

LobeliaBaggins · 18/04/2025 10:28

@KarmaKameelion I agree there is way too much emphasis on toilets.

Exactly. In my previous company I was made to introduce my self in meetings as cis and what my pronouns were and that made me uncomfortable but i was worried I would get sacked if I said that. I just want that to stop.

at the same company I shared a toilet with trans women and that didn’t make me uncomfortable as we were all just in there to wee. There were also unisex toilets with floor to ceiling cubicles and that didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. However, if it had made someone uncomfortable for say religious reasons then I would have hoped that would have been respected.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 10:50

Lostcat · 18/04/2025 10:46

No. We are once again challenging simplistic and false statements about bodies that are being erroneously trotted out to promote a harmful political agenda, by telling the actual truth and educating people about the complexity and diversity of human bodies as they exist in the real world.

Edited

So, because some male urethra are not in the expected location, and because some penises lack the connection to the testes, you believe that you can label a clitoris a penis?

Diversity is absolutely fine to discuss.

Calling a clitoris a penis is misinformation.

Helleofabore · 18/04/2025 10:51

KarmaKameelion · 18/04/2025 10:50

Exactly. In my previous company I was made to introduce my self in meetings as cis and what my pronouns were and that made me uncomfortable but i was worried I would get sacked if I said that. I just want that to stop.

at the same company I shared a toilet with trans women and that didn’t make me uncomfortable as we were all just in there to wee. There were also unisex toilets with floor to ceiling cubicles and that didn’t make me feel uncomfortable. However, if it had made someone uncomfortable for say religious reasons then I would have hoped that would have been respected.

'However, if it had made someone uncomfortable for say religious reasons then I would have hoped that would have been respected.'

Hence discussions around toilets are important to many.

Ethelflaedofmercia · 18/04/2025 10:51

Seek help.

AnSolas · 18/04/2025 10:51

Teddlesisagoodboy · 18/04/2025 10:08

You guys make everything up, that picture of trans people in prison someone shared up thread is completely made up. Do you not fact check anything? There aren't even that many trans people in prison.

Produce your numbers and do the maths if you want to make a claim of needing to fact check

Hint the uk prison system do a breakdown of numbers which you can use so no need to worry about MN posters making up numbers.

Merrymouse · 18/04/2025 10:52

Lostcat · 18/04/2025 10:43

both these things are also true of some penises though.

Im not saying there aren’t differences, but as usual the reality is more nuanced than people try to claim. There isn’t the sharp/ mutually exclusive binary people think there is and these things are variable- a function of hormonal balances and also medical interventions such as surgeries.

Edited

Yet they are different because a clitoris is not an undeveloped penis.

Similarly my car is not a space rocket because some space rockets can’t go to space.

A man with a micro penis has a specific DSD that probably impacts his health in other ways.

BrilliantBrilliant · 18/04/2025 10:56

41% of trans women in prison are in for sexual offences..... so somes trans women are quite dangerous to women

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-42221629

An anonymous female prison officer locks a door at Wormwood Scrubs

How many transgender inmates are there?

Reality Check looks at claims around transgender prisoners and their convictions.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-42221629

Totallymessed · 18/04/2025 10:57

Teddlesisagoodboy · 18/04/2025 10:08

You guys make everything up, that picture of trans people in prison someone shared up thread is completely made up. Do you not fact check anything? There aren't even that many trans people in prison.

A few examples of trans sex offenders for you Ted
Statistically, transwomen are actually more likely to be imprisoned for sex offences than other men.

Meet the monsters: the dangerous trans women prisoners held in Scottish jails

There are 11 trans women being held in Scottish prisons – including five in the female estate – including murderers, rapists and paedophiles

https://www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/scottish-news/meet-monsters-dangerous-trans-women-29115407