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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trans people

999 replies

Mog65 · 17/04/2025 16:46

Firstly, I'm a trans ally

Everyone is up in arms about trans women. What seems to be forgotten these people are human beings. Where is humanity. You have probably been sharing toilets and coming into contact with trans women every day and have no idea. You only hear about the few bad ones. In a public toilet, you go into a cubical and pee. Its not like you're sat there in full public view with your knickers at your ankles.

What has been forgotten also, as many females are changing to. So trans men. So you're in hospital in a ward. The woman in the next bed, identifys as George, clit is now a penis fully working and you're in the next bed! Same person can wander around female only spaces as the law has changed. George can now only be searched by a female. By the way George a transgender man is a pervert! All hypothetical but nobody has brought this up.

Just a thought.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
41
HaddyAbrams · 17/04/2025 20:38

ThatCyanCat · 17/04/2025 20:36

Interestingly enough, my actual TW friend has never had anyone question them in the male or female toilets!

Which means your friend is safe in the gents. Overwhelming likelihood is that women are aware your friend is not female but they're either sufficiently socialised to Be Kind or, more probably, they're scared too scared to say anything.

Exactly.

LovelySG · 17/04/2025 20:39

No amount of medication and/ or cosmetic surgery can turn a man into a woman or vice verse.
I don’t want men in women’s spaces with me. You may be ok with it but I’m not.

JazzyJelly · 17/04/2025 20:40

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:35

Again @HazelShark for someone who has pearl clutched about “waaah meanies on this thread the most hateful thread I’ve seen” - you keep laugh reacting at my posts about women experiencing rape. Is that not hateful? What’s your definition of “hateful”?

What a foul thing to do. Is there any way to report?

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:40

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:38

TRAs really show their true colours on this thread. The so called champion of human rights - unless you mention women being raped and they think it’s funny, and tell you men aren’t a problem, that women are as bad (I wonder when @HazelShark said women are a risk to women, he meant transwomen too?)

The irony of you calling me 'he'...goes against your whole argument lol

I have a vagina - cant be anything but a woman remember babe

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:41

JazzyJelly · 17/04/2025 20:40

What a foul thing to do. Is there any way to report?

I never laughed about rape. A vile and false accusation.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:41

JazzyJelly · 17/04/2025 20:40

What a foul thing to do. Is there any way to report?

It’s annoying as others can’t see but I’ll keep saying it when he laugh reacts to posts about rape.

MightAsWellBeGretel · 17/04/2025 20:42

All these attempts to quantify the risk of women actually being assaulted is somewhat irrelevant. Women have a right to private spaces and to feel safe in those spaces.

AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 20:43

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:41

It’s annoying as others can’t see but I’ll keep saying it when he laugh reacts to posts about rape.

Could you Screenshot it and post the image or would MN not allow that? It’s always the same with TRAs. Now they literally are the most hateful of people.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:43

Women have been raped by Transwomen countless times, and transwomen pose no less risk to women simply because transwomen are men. I don’t understand how saying “I feel like a woman” magically makes a man less of a risk. And given what the like of Karen White and others have done I’m not inclined to give TW the benefit of the doubt

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:43

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:11

I never made the claim that was made earlier on this thread that trans hatred was rife on the forum. I simply pointed out that it's impossible to quote the worst transphobic posts as they no longer exist because they've been reported and deleted.

ETA there is no need to say "claim" and "alleged". I'm quite happy for you to ask MNHQ to confirm that I reported two posts that were deleted.

Edited

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't believe there is a single deleted post on this thread.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:44

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:40

The irony of you calling me 'he'...goes against your whole argument lol

I have a vagina - cant be anything but a woman remember babe

I took a guess on the basis you’re a misogynist and laugh about women being raped. And I have no reason to believe you, especially when you have thought women call each other babe.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:45

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:43

Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't believe there is a single deleted post on this thread.

I didn't say there was. I was referring to the two posts I reported yesterday.

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:45

AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 20:43

Could you Screenshot it and post the image or would MN not allow that? It’s always the same with TRAs. Now they literally are the most hateful of people.

To clarify, my laugh reacts are about this user getting increasingly cross about me not responding to her posts anymore because we were just going round in circles and continuing to make posts in an attempt to bait me to respond. Im not laughing at the nature of the comments themselves.

blueleavesgreensky · 17/04/2025 20:45

Mog65 · 17/04/2025 16:53

The clitoris is used in the making of the penis.

There are different ways of making something resembling a penis. One method involves the clitoris but the result is a micropenis. Not particularly useful

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 17/04/2025 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dandie55 · 17/04/2025 20:46

especially when you have thought women call each other babe.

To be fair, plenty of women do call each other babe. Maybe of a different demographic to yours if you haven't heard it. It gets used sarcastically a lot as well.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:46

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:41

I never laughed about rape. A vile and false accusation.

Liar

Trans people
Trans people
Trans people
Trans people
AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 20:46

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:45

To clarify, my laugh reacts are about this user getting increasingly cross about me not responding to her posts anymore because we were just going round in circles and continuing to make posts in an attempt to bait me to respond. Im not laughing at the nature of the comments themselves.

Edited

Even if that’s true it’s pretty childish and petty.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:47

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:45

To clarify, my laugh reacts are about this user getting increasingly cross about me not responding to her posts anymore because we were just going round in circles and continuing to make posts in an attempt to bait me to respond. Im not laughing at the nature of the comments themselves.

Edited

Sure

I was challenging your (objectively wrong) view that women post a risk to other women and men don’t pose that big a risk. You’re clearly wrong but won’t address it. Interesting

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:48

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:23

For the third time....no 😂😂

OK, so are you saying that women saying no to trans women is bad?

Because that is all that is happening on this thread, that you seem so hateful. Women are saying, "No. We do not consent. We never did. Enough is enough."

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:48

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:45

To clarify, my laugh reacts are about this user getting increasingly cross about me not responding to her posts anymore because we were just going round in circles and continuing to make posts in an attempt to bait me to respond. Im not laughing at the nature of the comments themselves.

Edited

It's an unpleasant use of the laugh emoji though. I've taken issue with the poster on the thread who's done that to me. Using it to mock isn't on.

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:48

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:46

Liar

Im lauging at your attempts to so desperately get my attention....

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:49

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:47

Sure

I was challenging your (objectively wrong) view that women post a risk to other women and men don’t pose that big a risk. You’re clearly wrong but won’t address it. Interesting

I never said women pose as much of a risk as men. I just dont think we can label an entire group.

SigourneyHoward · 17/04/2025 20:49

What the actual fuck @HazelShark - you were 'meh' about the the turfisaslur website and now you're laughing about DV and rape.

WilfredsPies · 17/04/2025 20:49

Firstly, I'm a trans ally Ok. You understand that’s not an identity, don’t you? Just so I know whether I’m talking to a homophobe or not, what made you decide against being an ally for gay men and lesbians? Because you’ll obviously understand that’s when gays and lesbians are being called ‘genital fetishists’ and a thing called the ‘cotton ceiling’ exists, and young children are being told that they are the opposite sex rather than the more obvious conclusion that they are simply same sex attracted, that the two are largely incompatible?

Everyone is up in arms about trans women Nobody is up in arms about trans women. What women are up in arms about is being told to sit down, shut up and hand over our rights. TRAs pushed and pushed and pushed and now they’ve pissed us off and we’re pushing back.

You have probably been sharing toilets and coming into contact with trans women every day and have no idea. You only hear about the few bad ones. Fantastic! You’ve worked out how we tell the difference between the trans women who want to use our spaces and the men who are predators! Tell us all about it so we know which ones to tell to fuck off and call the police about, and which ones we just need to shut up and budge over for.

In a public toilet, you go into a cubical and pee. It’s not like you're sat there in full public view with your knickers at your ankles. Is that where your bar is? So long as nobody can actually see you wee, you should be fine? We’ll ignore the increase in voyeurism since it became expected that men’s toilets were men’s and women’s toilets were women’s and anyone else who fancied wandering in, shall we? We’ll ignore the women who’d like some privacy when they’ve had a menstrual flood. We’ll ignore the women who’d have experienced trauma to the extent that being in an enclosed space with a man is enough to inspire terror. And we’ll ignore the women who’d be unable to use the facilities because of their religion. All of those women can just shut up and give up their space. Trans women just want to wee in peace and in safety? Well surprise surprise, so do women! So either do what women had to do and campaign for your own space; a third space, or use the toilets for your sex (where, in the UK, there has not been one attack recorded against a trans person).

And what is going on in your head that you ‘allies’ always reduce it to who wees where? I think you do this to minimise the issue. ‘It’s only about nipping into the loo for a quick wee, it’s nothing serious, you’re being silly, nobody cares, stop making a fuss’. It’s not just about using the loo. It’s sport. It’s refuges and rape crisis centres and not having to be told by a man to ‘reframe our trauma’. It’s the right to be searched by a female if we’re arrested. It’s the right to be medically examined by a female. It’s about opportunities for women being stolen by mediocre men. It’s about nurses not having to share changing rooms with men and women not being driven to a nervous breakdown because their NHS Trust insists that there were no males on the ward when they were raped, only women. It’s about women not having to share cells with men who rape them. It’s crimes being attributed to women. It’s women being forced to refer to their rapist as ‘she’. It’s every single aspect of our lives.

What has been forgotten also, as many females are changing to. So trans men. So you're in hospital in a ward. The woman in the next bed, identifys as George, clit is now a penis fully working and you're in the next bed! Same person can wander around female only spaces as the law has changed. George can now only be searched by a female. By the way George a transgender man is a pervert! All hypothetical but nobody has brought this up I hated science at school. I managed to get through my entire school career without ever lighting a Bunsen burner. I became a vegetarian to get out of dissecting a frog. I scraped through my science gcse by the skin of my teeth. But even I understand that what George has is not a full working penis. And are you seriously saying that we should shut up because trans men can be perverts too? Because that’s what it sounds like.

Just a thought And that’s the problem. You stopped after the first thought. If you’d carried on a bit longer, you might have come up with something sensible.