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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trans people

999 replies

Mog65 · 17/04/2025 16:46

Firstly, I'm a trans ally

Everyone is up in arms about trans women. What seems to be forgotten these people are human beings. Where is humanity. You have probably been sharing toilets and coming into contact with trans women every day and have no idea. You only hear about the few bad ones. In a public toilet, you go into a cubical and pee. Its not like you're sat there in full public view with your knickers at your ankles.

What has been forgotten also, as many females are changing to. So trans men. So you're in hospital in a ward. The woman in the next bed, identifys as George, clit is now a penis fully working and you're in the next bed! Same person can wander around female only spaces as the law has changed. George can now only be searched by a female. By the way George a transgender man is a pervert! All hypothetical but nobody has brought this up.

Just a thought.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
41
HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:50

SigourneyHoward · 17/04/2025 20:49

What the actual fuck @HazelShark - you were 'meh' about the the turfisaslur website and now you're laughing about DV and rape.

I mean none of that is true but okay

AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 20:50

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:49

I never said women pose as much of a risk as men. I just dont think we can label an entire group.

No one is doing that. Men as a class are a problem. Transwomen as a class are an even bigger problem. That doesn’t mean all or even most of them are a problem.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:50

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:48

Im lauging at your attempts to so desperately get my attention....

I’m really puzzled as to why you can’t answer why I’m not 21, or can’t be black, or why you won’t acknowledge you are objectively wrong about men not being that big a risk to women and that women are a risk to other women.

You aren’t short of time re posting so it’s interesting and very telling that you won’t respond to this. Is it because it would expose the fact you’re talking utter shite?

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:51

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:50

I’m really puzzled as to why you can’t answer why I’m not 21, or can’t be black, or why you won’t acknowledge you are objectively wrong about men not being that big a risk to women and that women are a risk to other women.

You aren’t short of time re posting so it’s interesting and very telling that you won’t respond to this. Is it because it would expose the fact you’re talking utter shite?

I said before you can do whatever you want?

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:51

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:49

I never said women pose as much of a risk as men. I just dont think we can label an entire group.

I never said you claimed they were equivalent. But you did say women pose a risk to other women. They really don’t.

And of course you can label a whole class as dangerous and a risk. Because men ARE a risk to women.

AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 20:52

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:50

I’m really puzzled as to why you can’t answer why I’m not 21, or can’t be black, or why you won’t acknowledge you are objectively wrong about men not being that big a risk to women and that women are a risk to other women.

You aren’t short of time re posting so it’s interesting and very telling that you won’t respond to this. Is it because it would expose the fact you’re talking utter shite?

Because the whole house of cards comes tumbling down when you apply the same logic to literally anything else. They never answer because they know this.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:52

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:48

Im lauging at your attempts to so desperately get my attention....

If you want to do that, post a reply and do it openly. Using hidden emojis to mock isn't on, whichever side of the debate you're on.

SummerDaysOnTheWay · 17/04/2025 20:53

bridgetreilly · 17/04/2025 16:54

Oh sweetie. No one cares if men want to dress up as women or girls want to dress as boys. But men can’t access female healthcare and women can’t play men’s rugby.

This. HTH.

PurpleChrayn · 17/04/2025 20:53

But nothing has changed. The law has stayed the same.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:53

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:51

I said before you can do whatever you want?

So you support me in black facing, getting into black only spaces and claiming that despite the fact I was born as a white woman, I am as oppressed and the exact same, if not better, than women who are born black?

ODFOx · 17/04/2025 20:54

@DuesToTheDirtA clarification to the Equalities Act, which neither legislates nor polices ‘women’s spaces’ isn’t going to give you what you expect. It is going to give the opportunity for appeal and to request additional provision, and (yet to be tested in law) it may offer an opportunity for some (protected) sections of society) to request additional provision of some services. This is absolutely not a simple decision, nor a removal of some groups from previously shared spaces.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:54

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:45

I didn't say there was. I was referring to the two posts I reported yesterday.

As others have pointed out, if that's all the evidence you've got of transphobia then it is underwhelming to say the least.

@HazelShark thinks this thread is the most hateful thing she's seen in some time. Since nothing has been deleted perhaps she can give some specific examples of the hate.

MyHeartyCoralSnail · 17/04/2025 20:54

Yesterday I cried with relief at the judgement, I’ve watched in horror as time and time again women have been silenced, been thrown off social media platforms (inc this one), lost hard earned careers, been threatened with rape and death, seen people harassed by men out of tape support centres, all for wanting a single sex space for their privacy, dignity and safety. I felt unsafe using the gym changing rooms because next to the sign saying no boys over 8 there was a sign effectively saying but men are welcome if they wear a frock. We’ve watched in horror as children (many autistic)have been targeted on line and, yes, in schools to take drugs and go on the slippery slope to surgery. I watched as parents lose their kids to a cult.

I do feel sorry for many Transpeople, they’ve been sold a lie, the affirmation of their body dysmorphia has led them to a false reality, heck if everyone was telling Barry he could become Brenda and would magically become a woman with access to all the same spaces and if anyone challenged him they would feel the full wrath of stonewall justice, why wouldn’t he believe it?

I appreciate, for many trans people, yesterdays ruling after years of everything telling them, the courts, their employers, the media, schools, clubs yes Barry, you’re Brenda anyone saying otherwise is scum, to find out that narrative was a tower of cards built on sand must be a shock and frightening. But now the way is open to provide real support, both practical eg 3rd spaces and psychological (no Barry you can’t be a woman, let’s examine what that means for you) These people do need society’s support, but true support is based on reality not baseless affirmation.

But the most important thing is, we must come to understand how we have got here, how have so many people been persuaded that black is white, that one of the most fundamental identification classifications in existence is something other than what it is, binary and immutable. If we can be persuaded a man can become a woman and anyone arguing against this doctrine is effectively excommunicated we can be persuaded of anything.

We need to analyse how people like stonewall were dictating what people could say, even when what they were being forced to say was so far removed from common sense, often by just being told to “be kind”, we need to understand the silencing, the MO of these types of people. How have entire industries, academic, professional and pharmaceutical been built on this lie. How have people been taken in by a cult and so easily rejected reality?

We need to be mindful where similar things are happening within our society, where obvious issues are being denied, where people are being silenced for raising valid concerns. The trans issue is just the start.

We need to encourage independent thought, we need to relearn how to listen and interact with a variety of view points. We need to reject things which seek to make us into unquestioning sheep. AI, social media (with over zealous mods who will happily silence a person for speaking the truth), MSM, employment laws, our justice system. But most of all we need to look at who our educators are, we need to make sure our young people are equipped to deal with a world which strives to make them more like computers, a world where true intellectual exploration is discouraged and thoughts come pre packaged and pre approved.

AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 20:54

PurpleChrayn · 17/04/2025 20:53

But nothing has changed. The law has stayed the same.

Exactly. The thing is transpeople have been applying their own definitions of the law, and now they’re going to have to stop they’re not happy!

Soontobe60 · 17/04/2025 20:55

Mog65 · 17/04/2025 16:53

The clitoris is used in the making of the penis.

Most phalloplasty procedures have to use inverted bowel. A clitoris isn’t big enough 😂😂😂

AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 20:55

ODFOx · 17/04/2025 20:54

@DuesToTheDirtA clarification to the Equalities Act, which neither legislates nor polices ‘women’s spaces’ isn’t going to give you what you expect. It is going to give the opportunity for appeal and to request additional provision, and (yet to be tested in law) it may offer an opportunity for some (protected) sections of society) to request additional provision of some services. This is absolutely not a simple decision, nor a removal of some groups from previously shared spaces.

Wrong.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:57

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:54

As others have pointed out, if that's all the evidence you've got of transphobia then it is underwhelming to say the least.

@HazelShark thinks this thread is the most hateful thing she's seen in some time. Since nothing has been deleted perhaps she can give some specific examples of the hate.

I wasn't using it as evidence of transphobia, merely that if people are asked to quote posts they can't do so if the posts no longer exist.

TheLadyMaud · 17/04/2025 20:57

@ilovesooty Apologies, you are correct, you weren't yourself claiming the site is transphobic, but posting in support of another poster who claimed it is an echo chamber of transphobia. So, that's all right then.
I laughed because it is illogical to cite as evidence of transphobia posts that have been deleted for being transphobic. A site that has a rigorously enforced anti-discriminatory policy is surely the complete opposite of a transphobic echo chamber?

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:59

ODFOx · 17/04/2025 20:54

@DuesToTheDirtA clarification to the Equalities Act, which neither legislates nor polices ‘women’s spaces’ isn’t going to give you what you expect. It is going to give the opportunity for appeal and to request additional provision, and (yet to be tested in law) it may offer an opportunity for some (protected) sections of society) to request additional provision of some services. This is absolutely not a simple decision, nor a removal of some groups from previously shared spaces.

This is simply untrue. It protects women’s spaces to be biological women at the EHRC will police this to make sure men (aka transwomen) aren’t accessing these spaces

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 21:01

TheLadyMaud · 17/04/2025 20:57

@ilovesooty Apologies, you are correct, you weren't yourself claiming the site is transphobic, but posting in support of another poster who claimed it is an echo chamber of transphobia. So, that's all right then.
I laughed because it is illogical to cite as evidence of transphobia posts that have been deleted for being transphobic. A site that has a rigorously enforced anti-discriminatory policy is surely the complete opposite of a transphobic echo chamber?

How do you interpret my pointing out that it's impossible to quote the worst transphobic posts as they no longer exist as "posting in support of that poster"?

And your laughing emoji was applied to the post where I politely said I hadn't claimed what you said I did.

BowTiesPinkTail · 17/04/2025 21:03

I, a cis woman, am very devastated for the trans population. We are moving backwards, not forwards in terms of equality. I will continue to teach my children that trans women are women, and trans men are men and that trans rights are human rights because I am not an inhumane monster.

And again, TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS for those at the back.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 21:03

I don’t think any posts have been deleted here but I did notice a few yesterday on other threads. And unless @ilovesooty is Rain Man it would indeed be difficult to quote them 😂

namechangeGOT · 17/04/2025 21:04

and yet you’re still on the wrong side of history and now the wrong side of the law! ✌🏼

5128gap · 17/04/2025 21:04

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:00

At no point did i say they are equally as bad, i just said both are bad.

Just because my neighbour murders someone, doesnt mean its okay for me to beat him up

Do you believe the very bad comments posted urging rape and torture were written by women? And would you be comfortable with encountering them in women's toilets and refuges? Because these people are amongst the most enthusiastic about accessing those spaces.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 21:05

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 21:03

I don’t think any posts have been deleted here but I did notice a few yesterday on other threads. And unless @ilovesooty is Rain Man it would indeed be difficult to quote them 😂

Edited

Thank you for understanding what I said.