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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Trans people

999 replies

Mog65 · 17/04/2025 16:46

Firstly, I'm a trans ally

Everyone is up in arms about trans women. What seems to be forgotten these people are human beings. Where is humanity. You have probably been sharing toilets and coming into contact with trans women every day and have no idea. You only hear about the few bad ones. In a public toilet, you go into a cubical and pee. Its not like you're sat there in full public view with your knickers at your ankles.

What has been forgotten also, as many females are changing to. So trans men. So you're in hospital in a ward. The woman in the next bed, identifys as George, clit is now a penis fully working and you're in the next bed! Same person can wander around female only spaces as the law has changed. George can now only be searched by a female. By the way George a transgender man is a pervert! All hypothetical but nobody has brought this up.

Just a thought.

OP posts:
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41
JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:12

Dandie55 · 17/04/2025 20:11

I do wonder what happens if trans men now have to use female-only spaces in public. Will they get harassed to prove they are female in the toilets etc? Will women that look more masculine in structure than others be accused of breaking the law and being trans women? I don't know what happens in those situations if they have to prove they're legally allowed to be in the toilets right then and there because some people are suspicious of them.

No they won’t get harassed. The way that butch women have never been harassed or asked to prove anything. I’ll tell you a secret: we can tell they’re really women.

AllPlayedOut · 17/04/2025 20:12

DeffoNeedANameChange · 17/04/2025 20:08

I'd go further - I think it would be horrific if any man felt any amount of societal pressure for chemical or surgical castration in order to be better "accepted".

How much #bekind-er to accept everyone exactly as they are, no genital mutilation or cross sex hormones necessary/preferred.

I agree. I don’t want people being encouraged to multilate their bodies.

Scorchio84 · 17/04/2025 20:12

Scorchio84 · 17/04/2025 19:42

This in it's entirety, thank you

Oh no grammar fail...

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:12

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:11

Will I - thanks for letting me know! Whos forcing their beliefs now ay

You.

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:13

Totallymessed · 17/04/2025 20:11

You think men detailing how they would like to rape, torture and kill women is bad in the same way as women saying they don't want men in their single sex spaces is bad. I find that repugnant, yes. You seem to think it's a normal, even progressive way to think. I really hope you are never in any position where you have any responsibility for the wellbeing of vulnerable women or children, your values are utterly warped.

I think you need to reread my posts. Obviously thats worse than this thread - but that doesnt mean this thread isnt bad.

Something being 'not as bad' doesnt make it ok

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:14

ThatCyanCat · 17/04/2025 19:25

Of course trans people are human. That's how we know they're all male or female and can't change sex.

"Trans women are men."
"That's dehumanising!"
"Since when are men not human??"

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

ThatCyanCat · 17/04/2025 20:14

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:11

Will I - thanks for letting me know! Whos forcing their beliefs now ay

If you are indeed in favour of people having their own personal choices, then yes, you'd have to welcome yesterday's ruling because that's exactly what it protects. Women and men each being able to create single sex or mixed sex spaces, so that everyone has a choice of two options rather than be forced into one option only, mixed sex spaces, or excluded altogether.

Do you object to yesterday's ruling?

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:14

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:13

I think you need to reread my posts. Obviously thats worse than this thread - but that doesnt mean this thread isnt bad.

Something being 'not as bad' doesnt make it ok

What’s bad about this thread?

I notice you laugh reached to my post asking if I could identify as black, change my appearance to be darker and access black only spaces. What’s so funny? Why won’t you answer?

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:15

Teddlesisagoodboy · 17/04/2025 19:25

How many here have been molested by a trans person and how many have been molested by a man?

I never been even insulted by a trans woman but I've been attacked and molested by multiple men. Trans people aren't the threat you are all desperate to believe.

Tell that to Katie Dolatowski's victims.

Merrymouse · 17/04/2025 20:16

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:06

You can say youre 21 if you like i dont mind? Ultimately it doesnt affect me at all

But the the government and the law will not treat JandamiHash as* *being 21, and will insist that a state pension can only be taken at a particular age, and that a driving license must be renewed at 70 and then every 3 years.

All of this may be distressing or inconvenient for JandamiHash, but it's just policy made based on an objective classification - and it does affect you because pension payments have to balance need against public expenditure and rules on driving licenses protect you from dangerous drivers.

DeffoNeedANameChange · 17/04/2025 20:16

AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 19:44

Can anyone tell me why men who don't feel safe in spaces with other men are taken so very, very seriously, while women who feel the same way aren't? More than that, they are called hateful and worse? All of this despite the fact that women are the ones actually at the most risk from males?

Please, someone make it make sense!

For the same reason that the strength of my attachment to my identity as a woman is entirely irrelevant in this whole discussion, whilst the strength of a man's desire for that same identity is put forward as a life or death situation.

We're not allowed to just want the identity, we have to prove that we need it. But there will always exist those for whom no proof will ever be enough.

Dandie55 · 17/04/2025 20:17

we can tell they're really women

I don't believe people always can. I've seen some trans men who pass as regular men in my life, I wouldn't know they were "really women" in the toilets. What proof do they show that they legally should be there if asked? Or are they still allowed to use the male toilets?

Summertimeblahness · 17/04/2025 20:17

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:06

You can say youre 21 if you like i dont mind? Ultimately it doesnt affect me at all

Ultimately it doesnt affect me at all

Bingo!
The issue is that men pretending to be women and wanting to access single sex spaces and referring to us as ‘cis’ women DOES affect women! Biscuit

LadyBracknellsHandbagg · 17/04/2025 20:19

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 19:20

This thread is this most hateful thing ive read in a long time

Is it? You need to get out more. The most hateful thing I’ve read in a long time is about the massive rise in the number of teenage autistic girls identifying as trans and having their healthy breasts removed.

If you can sit up there on your moral high ground, berating women for stating biological facts and sit happily and smugly within an ideology that encourages butchery of that nature, then I have nothing for you.

FOJN · 17/04/2025 20:21

AshesofTime · 17/04/2025 19:44

Can anyone tell me why men who don't feel safe in spaces with other men are taken so very, very seriously, while women who feel the same way aren't? More than that, they are called hateful and worse? All of this despite the fact that women are the ones actually at the most risk from males?

Please, someone make it make sense!

It's this question that makes it very clear that even the TWAW crew know that TW are men.

No one would make such a fuss about women not having their every want indulged.

UndermyShoeJoe · 17/04/2025 20:21

@HazelShark so you’d have no problem with a trans women with her gear getting changed naked in the women’s changing rooms in front of your daughter?

You have no problem that sexual assault survivors have been forced to have biological men carry out invasive tests and screening despite asking for a women?

Lark1ane · 17/04/2025 20:21

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:11

I never made the claim that was made earlier on this thread that trans hatred was rife on the forum. I simply pointed out that it's impossible to quote the worst transphobic posts as they no longer exist because they've been reported and deleted.

ETA there is no need to say "claim" and "alleged". I'm quite happy for you to ask MNHQ to confirm that I reported two posts that were deleted.

Edited

So all you are saying then is that you reported two posts that were deleted?
I'll take your word for it.
Keep up the excellent work.

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:21

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:12

No they won’t get harassed. The way that butch women have never been harassed or asked to prove anything. I’ll tell you a secret: we can tell they’re really women.

I can recall at least one thread on here where someone challenged a person using a toilet who appeared masculine but turned out to be female.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 17/04/2025 20:21

Shetlands · 17/04/2025 16:59

If you're a trans supporter then join some trans groups to help them campaign for their own facilities eg refuges, changing rooms, toilets, sports categories...

Or does your trans support focus on denying women their rights to single sex spaces and sports?

This with fucking knobs on

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:23

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 19:29

Im not saying any of that is acceptable. But neither is this.

Are you seriously suggesting that there is some moral equivalence between trans women threatening to rape and kill women who say no to them, and the women who say no to them?

For shame, Hazel.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:23

Dandie55 · 17/04/2025 20:17

we can tell they're really women

I don't believe people always can. I've seen some trans men who pass as regular men in my life, I wouldn't know they were "really women" in the toilets. What proof do they show that they legally should be there if asked? Or are they still allowed to use the male toilets?

In practice people will probably still use whichever toilet they want and we will have to put up with it. But I don’t mind one hot trans men using the women’s toilets, it’s for them after all

HazelShark · 17/04/2025 20:23

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/04/2025 20:23

Are you seriously suggesting that there is some moral equivalence between trans women threatening to rape and kill women who say no to them, and the women who say no to them?

For shame, Hazel.

For the third time....no 😂😂

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:23

Lark1ane · 17/04/2025 20:21

So all you are saying then is that you reported two posts that were deleted?
I'll take your word for it.
Keep up the excellent work.

Yes. Two posts which I thought were transphobic and which were deleted. I'm merely pointing out that if posters ask for the worst examples, they can't be quoted as they no longer exist.

JandamiHash · 17/04/2025 20:24

ilovesooty · 17/04/2025 20:21

I can recall at least one thread on here where someone challenged a person using a toilet who appeared masculine but turned out to be female.

That’s unfortunate but one perhaps-it-happened-perhaps it didn’t example pales in comparison to the very real stories and real risk men being in women’s spaces presents.

Zanzara · 17/04/2025 20:24

Teddlesisagoodboy · 17/04/2025 19:17

How many men are going to go to the effort of dressing up as a woman to go in a woman's bathroom just so they can molest women. Get a brain and a life!

Far more than any decent person would ever suspect, but that's irrelevant. One is one too many.