BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

[comeandhaveteawithme]

DH's brother got a new girlfriend around Christmas time. At the end of January, he brought her round to an evening gathering at our house.

At first it seemed to be going OK. The girl was really quiet and barely said a word at first which I put down to shyness.

During the evening, our DS (11) came downstairs from his room and said he was a bit scared because he'd heard a freaky noise outside. I said "oh, was it a screeching sound?" He said it was I said "it will be the foxes mating cry, don't worry about it, they always mate at the end of January" DS went back to bed, reassured.

The GF let out a high pitch screech of laughter and said "You KNOW exactly when foxes have sex! That's SO WIERD" with this continued high pitched laugh. Baring in mind she'd barely said a word all night and the first thing she says is that I'm weird, in my own house, I thought it was pretty rude of her.

But I just tried to be polite and said "oh..yeah..Well I'm interested in wildlife and I like foxes so I remember they mate in January and have their cubs in March" and then she sort of wrinkled her nose and gave a side eye so I felt awkward and carried blethering on and said "I quite like hearing them because it reminds me spring is coming". And she laughed again and said "you like hearing foxes have sex, so weird" then the subject changed.

Now BIL has suggested we all go out together for an evening at a pub.

AIBU to not really fancy it? First impressions of the GF really weren't great. She was rude and made me uncomfortable while a guest in my house and pretty much the only thing she said all night was to make fun of me. She also came across extremely immature.

DH thinks I'm too sensitive and should give her another chance.

I think you should let it go.

Sounds like the girlfriend is socially awkward and what she said is more about her than you. I'd probably give her another chance, but if you don't want to, don't.

Jeez you’re very harsh. It was the first time you met her. She was probably nervous. Relax.

This.

Ask her lots of open-ended questions so she has to tell you about herself, and maybe you’ll find something in common.

I would give her another go. I can be an idiot when nervous 🤣

I think she’s the weird one for having such an OTT reaction to the fact but I wouldn’t say it’s rude. It sounds like she’s socially awkward and her strange reaction is part of that awkwardness.

Give her another chance.

I have said some proper bonkers shit when I have felt socially awkward 😂😂 I think you are overthinking this and taken it too personally.

Draw a line under it and let it go.

Maybe she is t familiar with the goings on of wildlife. I am and sometimes mention the ways of wild animals to very urbanised people and they don't get it.

Perhaps give her another chance and see how she is.

I wouldn’t bother, but I’m menopausal. Seriously though why do you have to make her awkwardness and rudeness okay?

She was rude, but I'd give her a second chance. Maybe she just hasn't met anyone with an interest in nature before, so to her it is weird.

Agree with your DH, you are being too sensitive – sounds like she was trying to fit in and didn’t intentionally make fun of you.
Forget it and move on

Give her another chance, what are you going to do just never be around her again? She was probably just being weird cause she was nervous.

Although tbh I'd find it a little weird that you said it was a foxs mating cry. I dont know why and wouldnt say it to your face but I do think it's just an odd thing to be able to identify and be interested in when animals mate.

I'm with you OP. I don't see what she said as nervous clumsy conversation. If she'd said it once perhaps, but she repeatedly said things and pulled faces to mock you, in your own home. I think she sounds like a bit of a prat... But there is a small chance it was nerves.

On that basis I would go out with them, because you'll know for sure by the end of the meal if it was the former or the latter.

I think that shy, socially awkward people can sometimes come out with some strange things and might come across as rude occasionally. I've been like this before- been quiet and shy and then come out with something odd because I don't know what to say. Maybe she was just trying to have a laugh?
Honestly, I'd give her the benefit of the doubt on this occasion and see how it goes next time.

Given it was the first time you met her I'd give her one more chance and see how it goes. I think given she could be a future SIL, you could give her that. I'd also let your DH know this is another chance but you won't give her endless opportunities to be rude.

Give her a chance but don't let her make you feel uncomfortable - is she shy? Apprehensive meeting her boyfriends family?

My response woukd have been blunt

• well everyone is a bit wierd in their own way, but I least I have manners and don't try to embarrass others by pointing it out.

Noone gets to put me down or try to get one over me in my own home,

I think go, but look up a whole load of sex-related animal facts and drop them randomly into the conversation.

She sounds as though she might have been trying - in an over the top way - to make other people laugh?
I'd give her another chance, as others have said she might have been nervous and socially inept. When you've had another chance to meet you might be better placed to make a judgement.

This 100%

I’d probably go and see how she behaved this time. I don’t think it sounded like she was nervous, rather she sounds like she knew exactly how she’d come across if she’s eye rolling you in your own house. However the alternative is what? Never see your brother if he ends up sticking with her? I guess you don’t have to be best friends and maybe this is just the start of you learning to tolerate her.

Nothing weird about it if you’ve ever heard one, thought “what the hell was that ungodly sound?”, researched and figured out what it is. If you live somewhere where you can hear it, you grow to know when to expect it. Knowing when birds build their nests is the same.

Was alcohol involved?

I think that you are being over sensitive to someone who was probably incredibly nervous and trying to join in the conversation (especially if alcohol was involved).

Try again on mutual ground and try to find out what she’s into obviously not wildlife. You might like her!

This. GF sounds like a right cow and pretty unsophisticated!

She sounds a bit of an immature womble tbh but maybe another chance.