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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

312 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 17/04/2025 12:29

DH's brother got a new girlfriend around Christmas time. At the end of January, he brought her round to an evening gathering at our house.

At first it seemed to be going OK. The girl was really quiet and barely said a word at first which I put down to shyness.

During the evening, our DS (11) came downstairs from his room and said he was a bit scared because he'd heard a freaky noise outside. I said "oh, was it a screeching sound?" He said it was I said "it will be the foxes mating cry, don't worry about it, they always mate at the end of January" DS went back to bed, reassured.

The GF let out a high pitch screech of laughter and said "You KNOW exactly when foxes have sex! That's SO WIERD" with this continued high pitched laugh. Baring in mind she'd barely said a word all night and the first thing she says is that I'm weird, in my own house, I thought it was pretty rude of her.

But I just tried to be polite and said "oh..yeah..Well I'm interested in wildlife and I like foxes so I remember they mate in January and have their cubs in March" and then she sort of wrinkled her nose and gave a side eye so I felt awkward and carried blethering on and said "I quite like hearing them because it reminds me spring is coming". And she laughed again and said "you like hearing foxes have sex, so weird" then the subject changed.

Now BIL has suggested we all go out together for an evening at a pub.

AIBU to not really fancy it? First impressions of the GF really weren't great. She was rude and made me uncomfortable while a guest in my house and pretty much the only thing she said all night was to make fun of me. She also came across extremely immature.

DH thinks I'm too sensitive and should give her another chance.

OP posts:
Bert2025 · 26/04/2025 09:52

@comeandhaveteawithme how did the meet up go this time (if you want to talk about it some more, of course)?

comeandhaveteawithme · 27/04/2025 18:08

Bert2025 · 26/04/2025 09:52

@comeandhaveteawithme how did the meet up go this time (if you want to talk about it some more, of course)?

BIL broke up with her just before Easter!

Apparently she had a bit of a drinking problem and would fall around drunk while they were out and it was getting embarrassing.
The final straw came when he had to call someone to help her up the stairs to her flat because she wasn't capable and he couldn't lift her dead weight alone.

OP posts:
ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 27/04/2025 18:16

That is simultaneously an ‘oh dear’ and a ‘thank goodness’ update!

comeandhaveteawithme · 27/04/2025 18:17

ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself · 27/04/2025 18:16

That is simultaneously an ‘oh dear’ and a ‘thank goodness’ update!

Yep!!

OP posts:
comeandhaveteawithme · 27/04/2025 18:17

Oh yeah and apparently she would become very flirtatious with any male present while very drunk and this was also very embarrassing

OP posts:
Hastentoadd · 27/04/2025 18:23

comeandhaveteawithme · 27/04/2025 18:08

BIL broke up with her just before Easter!

Apparently she had a bit of a drinking problem and would fall around drunk while they were out and it was getting embarrassing.
The final straw came when he had to call someone to help her up the stairs to her flat because she wasn't capable and he couldn't lift her dead weight alone.

So behind the drinking there were probably a lot of other issues that led her to say that strange comment to you

Sometimes alcoholics can be very bitter people

LePetitMaman · 27/04/2025 18:30

So, in short, suspected knobhead confirms theory.

Americano75 · 27/04/2025 18:46

Bet you feel vindicated now!

lolalei3 · 12/05/2025 13:47

I also love foxes and wildlife in general so I think this is very cool! Also you’re stating a fact to ease your DS mind that he’s not hearing ghosts or people screaming! But obviously she doesn’t find it that interesting I don’t know about you but I don’t usually get along with people who don’t like animals haha

GoldBeautifulHeart · 12/05/2025 19:55

MixedFeelingsNoFeelings · 17/04/2025 17:18

Ok, here goes... there's probably a mumsnet phrase for it, like the Bechdel Test or Godwin's Law... but:

Do you think she could be autistic/neurodivergent?

Because there is a link between autism and saying inappropriate things. As is laughing at something that no-one else is.

I'm not jumping to any conclusions, just putting it out there because it might put a different complexion on things, and help people be a bit more patient and understanding.

No because I'm neurodivergent and we aren't bloody stupid or necessarily rude.

MixedFeelingsNoFeelings · 14/05/2025 15:19

GoldBeautifulHeart · 12/05/2025 19:55

No because I'm neurodivergent and we aren't bloody stupid or necessarily rude.

Great, glad you cleared that up.

ShockedandStunnedRepeatedly · 14/05/2025 20:16

GoldBeautifulHeart · 12/05/2025 19:55

No because I'm neurodivergent and we aren't bloody stupid or necessarily rude.

Yeah, honestly, what the GF said smacked of nasty rather than social awkwardness or ND

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