BIL's new GF laughed at me and called me weird - AIBU

[comeandhaveteawithme]

DH's brother got a new girlfriend around Christmas time. At the end of January, he brought her round to an evening gathering at our house.

At first it seemed to be going OK. The girl was really quiet and barely said a word at first which I put down to shyness.

During the evening, our DS (11) came downstairs from his room and said he was a bit scared because he'd heard a freaky noise outside. I said "oh, was it a screeching sound?" He said it was I said "it will be the foxes mating cry, don't worry about it, they always mate at the end of January" DS went back to bed, reassured.

The GF let out a high pitch screech of laughter and said "You KNOW exactly when foxes have sex! That's SO WIERD" with this continued high pitched laugh. Baring in mind she'd barely said a word all night and the first thing she says is that I'm weird, in my own house, I thought it was pretty rude of her.

But I just tried to be polite and said "oh..yeah..Well I'm interested in wildlife and I like foxes so I remember they mate in January and have their cubs in March" and then she sort of wrinkled her nose and gave a side eye so I felt awkward and carried blethering on and said "I quite like hearing them because it reminds me spring is coming". And she laughed again and said "you like hearing foxes have sex, so weird" then the subject changed.

Now BIL has suggested we all go out together for an evening at a pub.

AIBU to not really fancy it? First impressions of the GF really weren't great. She was rude and made me uncomfortable while a guest in my house and pretty much the only thing she said all night was to make fun of me. She also came across extremely immature.

DH thinks I'm too sensitive and should give her another chance.

Chances are she’s probably mortified at what she said and has been so embarrassed by her behaviour.

Give her another chance, of she’s the same this time round you know it’s her and cut your losses

It's not an animal.porno FFS They are mating to reproduce.
I think the girlfriend is on the back foot as she's in your home. She sounds like she was awkward or uncomfortable and you talking about shagging foxes sent her over the edge.

She was rude and silly. But , I’d see how it goes. If she does it again, don’t put up with it.

I'd go because i love pubs. But if she was being weird again or boring I'd just scroll on my phone until DH wants to go home.

I think the key point is your last sentence.

Why do you think that? Foxes mating calls are quite distinct, and can sound un nerving the first time you hear them, so knowing what they are, and also knowing that they only occur at a certain time of the year is just one of those facts of life that many people know. Like knowing the moon has phases, that tides ebb and flow, that you see lightning before hearing thunder because light travels faster than sound ……….

I must be into sheep sex then as I love it when the ram has his paint waistcoat on and is let into the field with the sheep, it means that it's not too long til Spring and all the lovely lambs.

I'd go but then I wouldn't have been in the least bothered about her comment. Either she was nervous or if that is just what she is like then it says more about her than it does about you.

"You know everyone's name on love island and how old they are?, how weird"

Anything that people dont enjoy or understand themselves tend to label weird, its frustrating, but yeah, id give her another chance, but its a shit immature first impression i agree.

There is socially awkward and then there is being a rude scathing bitch to their host and virtual stranger.
Why should you let it go?
Either don't go or do go and if she says a single untoward syllable, you verbally eviscerate her.

It depends how good you are confrontation and evisceration!
I decided long ago that life is too short too let the put down merchants get away with it. They do it because people are polite and don't shut them down.

I go for the throat every time now. I was pleasant /door matty for too many years. Not any more.

She sounds a bit socially awkward and probably went over the top through nerves but I would also have found her annoying
Give her another chance

Yes it sounds like someone being attacked. Good parenting to explain it. Agree that it is more odd not to be aware and interested in nature and the world around you.

Possibly set is socially awkward or possibly she was trying to put you down in your own home. I’d give her one more chance, but only one

Maybe she was nervous and babbling? My sil has a nervous laugh which she uses in odd situations. I just ignore, it’s not her fault she’s nervous. I’d give the gf one more chance. If she’s again rude, call her out on it. It’s not a great start to a potential relationship with her but give her a chance.

She sounds like an idiot but I would let this one go OP. Many people say stupid things when they’re nervous. FWIW I think it’s cool that you know about Foxes! Love them!

I have said worse at times of social awkwardness. I'd give her another chance. If she says something unpleasant again, I would probably say something.

Yeah I'm the same.

We are quite rural and we get the bloody foxes, but the best one is a frog screaming (maybe they're toads) but Jesus it sounds horrendous. The other one is those blasted little muntjac deer that do this sort of honky bark. All night.

However, I would say "that's a fox, they're rife this time of year" or something like that. At the moment there's constant noise of pigeons. The stark truth is became they are shagging in the hedges. I wouldn't need to include that part of the story. "That's pigeons in the hedges, they'll do that for the next month or so" etc.

But, even if I did say something that did take someone by surprise a bit, "that noise is pigeons, that's their mating call, they mate this time of year" I would not expect the rudeness of "you're so weird you know when pigeons have sex" and then laugh in my face. That can fuck right off.

I don't think the OP is weird to know what a foxes mating call sounds like, pretty much everyone knows that sound surely?

On the subject of the new GF, I don't know- she might be a rude arsehole, or she might just be socially anxious and has been kicking herself ever since. I'd maybe give her another chance and if it's more of the same then avoid for evermore.

I think I might find it odd that you called it the fox's mating cry, rather than just saying it'll be the foxes. I wouldn't respond like she did, but there have been countless occasions when I have kicked myself for saying something awkward when I was trying to be funny in a social situation I found difficult.

Lol I think you have to let it go OP, surely? You can't never see your husband's brother's partner again because of something clumsy she said the first time you met.

I'm a townie, but even I knew the " foxes cry like someone being murdered whilst mating" thing from a tv documentary.

She sounds either a weirdo herself for wanging on, or nervous.
Because she didn't let it drop, I'd err towards weirdo.

If, big if you go, you have the choice of giving her as many fox-related facts as you can research and memorise, or mostly ignoring her.

🦊

She sounds like a rude bitch. Nothing wrong with shyness but any adult knows that telling someone they’re “weird” is an insult unless you know them well. She sounds like a 14 year old. Personally, I’d say “I also know the sound of a rude guest at someone’s house” but that’s because I have a sharp tongue.

I think you should let it go, but I'm quite happy thinking people are weird.

I think the foxes in MY neighborhood are BU if they should have been done in January as they have been making an awful racket.

I think she's just a different type of person from you, I wouldn't find what she said offensive I probably woukd have laughed with her. Tbh she said ' that's so wierd' just means it's unusual for her to meet people who know the mating cycles of foxes.

You sound pretty insecure if her slight nervy weirdness in your home could make you feel awkward. She sounds either nervous or a bit odd. You don’t have to love her or become besties, but there’s no reason for it to make you feel awkward or for you to avoid her. Presumably your DH and his DB want to spend time together with partners so I’d just go along.