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Original poster

To regret moving DP in to my house

1000 replies

JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:03

After a challenging weekend I am really starting to think I’ve made a big mistake here 😫

Background - I have been with DP for c.1.5 years, brilliant relationship, get along with each others family and similar goals for the future etc.

He moved in with me at my suggestion a couple of months ago when the tenancy on his flat was up.

I’ve been subtly asking him to contribute to more of the household chores without much uptake and this weekend I was a bit more direct in asking him to do certain things.

His response to me asking him to clean the bathroom was to blankly stare at me and say ‘I am male’. We saw friends on Sunday afternoon (another couple) and he said to my friends DH something along the lines of ‘yeah, she asked me to clean the bathroom yesterday. Not our job is it!’ and burst out laughing.

He has made what I thought were light hearted comments in the past about me being in the kitchen and that being my natural habit which I laughed off but in light of what he has said, I wonder if he was joking!

He has some annoying habit, 2 or 3 times he has made a mess of the toilet and not used the brush, leaving me to clean it up. His response is to laugh and say that I will need to get used to living with a man.

Is this really normal?! I feel I’ve potentially ruined our relationship by moving him in too early..

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
GettingMySpringOn · 15/04/2025 19:03

Kick him out. Lazy twat

faerietales · 15/04/2025 19:04

I would be kicking him back out pronto.

Grecianrainbow · 15/04/2025 19:04

Jeez move him back out again. He wants a maid and someone on hand for sex and meals!

Newgirls · 15/04/2025 19:04

bleugh. It’s not your job to train him. I’d end it.

Staceysmum2025 · 15/04/2025 19:05

Kick to the curb. Now

StJulian2023 · 15/04/2025 19:05

Not okay, time for him to flat hunt. Tbh this would put me off continuing with the relationship

tryingtobesogood · 15/04/2025 19:05

🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/04/2025 19:06

He told you who he was and you didn’t listen.

Who cleaned his bathroom before he moved in? Did he manage then or did his penis get in the way?

He’s disgusting. Get him out and dumped.

IchiNiSanShiGo · 15/04/2025 19:06

This is not a situation that will ever improve. Bin him off and be thankful he’s shown his true colours so early.

Flamingo68 · 15/04/2025 19:06

Not normal. Send him to find himself a new rental!

shoofly · 15/04/2025 19:06

Get rid! That would drive me nuts. You'd think he'd be on his best behaviour if he's only just moved in. This is not going to improve

AgnesX · 15/04/2025 19:06

I'd be giving him notice. Sexist prick ( and is unlikely to change).

Stickortwigs · 15/04/2025 19:06

I don’t think that it’s a case of it being too soon. It’s a case of him being a bellend.

If anything, it’s good you found out now. I’d give a firm and final ultimatum and absolutely stick to it.

Sheena99 · 15/04/2025 19:06

Sorry, that would turn me right off. There is no changing this mindset, he’s currently on the best foot forward he’s ever likely to be really, and it’s not good. I think you need to have a good chat and then consider your options. I wouldn’t be giving too many chances before you call it though.

Pipsquiggle · 15/04/2025 19:07

You aren't his maid or his mum.

He sounds like he's from the 1950s. Feel free to send him back there

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/04/2025 19:07

He doesn’t deserve notice or time to flat hunt. He can stay in a travel lodge until he gets another place.

Toooldtopretend · 15/04/2025 19:07

I don’t think you’ve ruined the relationship by moving him in too early, you’ve just found out exactly what kind of person he is. Kick him out and move on as he’s not going to change if that’s his attitude.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 15/04/2025 19:07

No way do I ever laugh along with misogynistic comments. Serve him notice, he's out at the end of the month.

Itiswhysofew · 15/04/2025 19:07

That's really disgusting.

With his attitude, I'd be asking him to leave and grow up.

FidosMum84 · 15/04/2025 19:07

There’s no hope here. Kick him out and he can do his own chores. Or not as the case may be. Probably end the relationship too. Do you want to spend your life with a misogynist? He has no respect for you.

Gundogday · 15/04/2025 19:08

1 1/2 years is a reasonable time to move in with someone. That’s not the issue.

The issue is his attitude, which would have been the same whether 1 1/2 years or five. He expects you to be a 1950s housewife, doing all the housework etc. He’s a cocklodger. Maybe you should have had The Discussion about who does what beforehand, etc but even if he agreed to it, he wouldn’t stick to it.

Out of curiosity, what was his flat like, or did he always come to yours?

Eze · 15/04/2025 19:08

Ew I have the ick on your behalf. Kick him out, he can stay with his friend and they can be lazy arses together.

Shoxfordian · 15/04/2025 19:08

I don't think you've ruined your relationship, but you should move him back out again and end it

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 15/04/2025 19:09

His response to me asking him to clean the bathroom was to blankly stare at me and say ‘I am male’.

He should be a homeless, single male. Make it happen.

tralalaa1225 · 15/04/2025 19:09

It will only get worse….

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