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Original poster

To regret moving DP in to my house

1000 replies

JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:03

After a challenging weekend I am really starting to think I’ve made a big mistake here 😫

Background - I have been with DP for c.1.5 years, brilliant relationship, get along with each others family and similar goals for the future etc.

He moved in with me at my suggestion a couple of months ago when the tenancy on his flat was up.

I’ve been subtly asking him to contribute to more of the household chores without much uptake and this weekend I was a bit more direct in asking him to do certain things.

His response to me asking him to clean the bathroom was to blankly stare at me and say ‘I am male’. We saw friends on Sunday afternoon (another couple) and he said to my friends DH something along the lines of ‘yeah, she asked me to clean the bathroom yesterday. Not our job is it!’ and burst out laughing.

He has made what I thought were light hearted comments in the past about me being in the kitchen and that being my natural habit which I laughed off but in light of what he has said, I wonder if he was joking!

He has some annoying habit, 2 or 3 times he has made a mess of the toilet and not used the brush, leaving me to clean it up. His response is to laugh and say that I will need to get used to living with a man.

Is this really normal?! I feel I’ve potentially ruined our relationship by moving him in too early..

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
arcticpandas · 15/04/2025 19:16

Wow this one is so easy because no children to consider: LTB! I couldn't be in the same room as a misogynistic prick like that. Thank god he showed his true colours before you got pregnant 🙏

Newgirls · 15/04/2025 19:16

Yep prob his mum.

AmandaHoldensLips · 15/04/2025 19:16

Fucking hell. Grim.

"This isn't working out the way I hoped it would. I think we should go back to living separately."

MovingAlongNicely · 15/04/2025 19:17

@JadeySmiles are you actually still attracted to him now knowing what he thinks of you?

Gundogday · 15/04/2025 19:18

JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:15

I didn’t go to his flat too often, if I did it was usually on a Friday after work and I know his Mum went round most Friday afternoons as he works a half day every Friday due to a condensed week. It was always freshly clean in terms of hoovering and the bathroom etc and he tells me he did it after work as that was his routine. I’m starting to think it was probably his Mum!

Yes, mum I’m sure!

toomuchfaff · 15/04/2025 19:18

AmandaHoldensLips · 15/04/2025 19:16

Fucking hell. Grim.

"This isn't working out the way I hoped it would. I think we should go back to living separately."

nope, I'd not consider continuing the relationship, I'm out.

Theunamedcat · 15/04/2025 19:18

"I am male" yes dear and that means your a low priority for housing as you can live on the streets 😉

arcticpandas · 15/04/2025 19:18

JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:15

I didn’t go to his flat too often, if I did it was usually on a Friday after work and I know his Mum went round most Friday afternoons as he works a half day every Friday due to a condensed week. It was always freshly clean in terms of hoovering and the bathroom etc and he tells me he did it after work as that was his routine. I’m starting to think it was probably his Mum!

Ofcourse it was his mum!!! Can't believe some women encourage this behaviour. Tell him to go live with his mum because that's the only woman who will treat him like a baby and literally clean out his shit! Disgusting pig.

Original poster
JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:18

Aside from the cleanliness he is honestly brilliant which makes it the more frustrating. But you are all right , it isn’t normal and seeing it said here in black and white makes it obvious.

OP posts:
MounjaroOnMyMind · 15/04/2025 19:18

OK so he's got a mother. He needs to go now - he can stay with her. Get a friend to back you up when you tell him. He's so entitled he might not go easily.

As for him being a man - you're the one with a home, not him!

thepariscrimefiles · 15/04/2025 19:19

You didn't ruin your relationship by asking him to move in. Him showing what a misogynistic sexist pig he is and his refusal to do any household chores as though you are his maid are what has ruined your relationship.

Get rid. He's dreadful.

Theunamedcat · 15/04/2025 19:19

toomuchfaff · 15/04/2025 19:18

nope, I'd not consider continuing the relationship, I'm out.

Show quote history

Get him out under the guise of letting him back in one day then BAM locks changed cctv up number blocked

MounjaroOnMyMind · 15/04/2025 19:19

JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:18

Aside from the cleanliness he is honestly brilliant which makes it the more frustrating. But you are all right , it isn’t normal and seeing it said here in black and white makes it obvious.

But someone who deliberately leaves the toilet in a mess is doing it because they have total disrespect for you.

I'd bet my house he's an Andrew Tate fan.

MovingAlongNicely · 15/04/2025 19:19

JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:18

Aside from the cleanliness he is honestly brilliant which makes it the more frustrating. But you are all right , it isn’t normal and seeing it said here in black and white makes it obvious.

Brilliant?
You have very low standards.

As another poster mentioned, you have an Andrew Tate devotee on your hands. Ick.

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 15/04/2025 19:20

JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:18

Aside from the cleanliness he is honestly brilliant which makes it the more frustrating. But you are all right , it isn’t normal and seeing it said here in black and white makes it obvious.

No he isn't brilliant and cleanliness is not the problem. The problem is he's a misogynist. Cleaning will not be the only way in which his misogyny manifests.

Motomum23 · 15/04/2025 19:20

Oh god op kick him to the kerb - why on earth would you saddle yourself with a cocklodger. Presumably he didn't live in a pigsty in the 1.5 years you were together.

anon2022anon · 15/04/2025 19:21

Thank fuck you've only wasted 18 months on him.
Throw him out before you start thinking it's acceptable and end up having kids with him.

jay55 · 15/04/2025 19:21

He has shown you who he is. I hope you show him the door.

DottieMoon · 15/04/2025 19:21

How utterly disgusting!

Although I have little sympathy for you as you didn’t immediately put him in his place and kick him out. What is wrong with you?!

2025willbemytime · 15/04/2025 19:21

toomuchfaff · 15/04/2025 19:12

‘I am male’.

"It's become apparent in a VERY SHORT SPACE OF TIME since you moved in that we are not compatible, the relationship is over effective immediately and I want you to move out. You're a dimlo and I cannot spend my life with someone who is a misogynistic twat. You have a week. Find somewhere to live, even if its a hotel, it's not my problem, the locks will be changed next Tuesday. "

Wrote it for you.

Edited

Corrected for you. You have one day.

thepariscrimefiles · 15/04/2025 19:21

JadeySmiles · 15/04/2025 19:18

Aside from the cleanliness he is honestly brilliant which makes it the more frustrating. But you are all right , it isn’t normal and seeing it said here in black and white makes it obvious.

It's not really the cleanliness, although his habits sound disgusting,, but his attitude to male and female roles. He sounds like someone from the 1950s.

Wishimaywishimight · 15/04/2025 19:22

He sees you as someone worthy only of literally cleaning up his shit. Why are you even hesitating??

NeedyTiger · 15/04/2025 19:22

Urghh send him back to him mother to finish raising him the childish twat ! Serious ick with a side of red flags with this one 🚩

Iheartmysmart · 15/04/2025 19:23

Brilliant! Seriously. He’s a misogynist fuckwit who treats you like shit. You really need to improve your standards in men. Kick him out.

TooFancyNancy · 15/04/2025 19:23

You’ve ignored too many red flags op, so now is your time to woman up and make a decision. Can you live with his horrible misogynistic attitude, and forever act like his personal slave/cleaner? If that doesn’t bother you than great- let him stay!
If you think his attitude to women is disgustingly outdated and you’re not prepared to put up with his shit anymore then you're going to have to kick him out asap and don’t look back!

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