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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

593 replies

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 18:56

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

OP posts:
Summertimeblahness · 15/04/2025 18:58

I wouldn’t think to wash my hands with shower gel to be honest.

Childanddogmama · 15/04/2025 18:59

It's not your friend who behaved strangely here!

CatamaranViper · 15/04/2025 18:59

I mean, while they probably are more or less the same, if I had asked someone were the soap was, I'd be looking for either soap or hand wash, not showergel. Wouldn't occur to me to just pick up a bottle of shower gel and use it in someone else's house unless they told me to.

Pushmepullyou · 15/04/2025 18:59

I would wash my hands with shower gel if there was no soap. But it’s not soap

Anonym00se · 15/04/2025 19:00

CatamaranViper · 15/04/2025 18:59

I mean, while they probably are more or less the same, if I had asked someone were the soap was, I'd be looking for either soap or hand wash, not showergel. Wouldn't occur to me to just pick up a bottle of shower gel and use it in someone else's house unless they told me to.

This.

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 15/04/2025 19:00

If I'm honest, I'd have been looking for hand wash by the sink as well. It wouldn't occur to me to use someone else's shower gel.

Pancakeflipper · 15/04/2025 19:00

So the dispenser dispenses shower gel?

I haven't ever used shower gel as a soap substitute. It's never occurred to me.

GettingMySpringOn · 15/04/2025 19:00

I purchased a shower gel , foam bath and hand wash all same brand. All ingredients identical. I I'm sure it was imperial leather or one of those.

TennesseeStella · 15/04/2025 19:01

Who washes their hands with shower gel?!

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:02

GettingMySpringOn · 15/04/2025 19:00

I purchased a shower gel , foam bath and hand wash all same brand. All ingredients identical. I I'm sure it was imperial leather or one of those.

You see this is exactly my thinking! It’s all pretty much the same thing! What do people think is in soap that isn’t in shower gel, or vice versa?

OP posts:
OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 15/04/2025 19:02

Errm no, I'd be looking for a bar of soap.

It wouldn't occur to me you meant shower gel 😳

WonderingWanda · 15/04/2025 19:02

She was either being a bit pedantic or a bit thick to point that out to you. If I couldn't find soap then shower gel or shampoo would also work for me and I would've just given up looking for the mythical soap in your bathroom.

ApparentlySomeDo · 15/04/2025 19:03

I wouldn't have thought to use shower gel to wash my hands. But I also wouldn't have mocked you.

Summertimeblahness · 15/04/2025 19:03

Maybe you could have said, ‘just use the shower gel’.

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:03

Pancakeflipper · 15/04/2025 19:00

So the dispenser dispenses shower gel?

I haven't ever used shower gel as a soap substitute. It's never occurred to me.

Well, liquid soap. But it’s pretty much the same thing.

Can I ask those of you saying you’d never wash your hands with shower gel why it’s different to using it on the rest of your body?

OP posts:
Semana · 15/04/2025 19:03

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:02

You see this is exactly my thinking! It’s all pretty much the same thing! What do people think is in soap that isn’t in shower gel, or vice versa?

I don’t think they do. They just think it’s weird that you lean in behind the shower screen to use shower gel to wash your hands. If sounds needlessly faffy.

dairydebris · 15/04/2025 19:03

This is the kind of thing I'd do if I'd run out of hand-wash. I say if, but I mean when 😉... I know it's me that's odd tho, and I wouldn't expects guests to have to pluck it out of the shower themselves... sorry op, you're the bizarre one

QuillBill · 15/04/2025 19:03

If someone told me there was soap on the side of the bath, I’d be looking for soap.

If you had said there is some shower gel on the side of the bath, I’d have used it but I wouldn’t have thought that’s what you were telling me to look for.

RubberDuckyURtheone · 15/04/2025 19:04

In your position the correct response to her first saying she couldn't find the soap was "I don't have any soap- just use the shower gel on the side of the bath". Yabu.

TomatoSandwiches · 15/04/2025 19:04

It's normal to have a separate soap for the sink, I wouldn't have wanted to use shower gel that was set up in your bath or shower.

Fangisnotacoward · 15/04/2025 19:04

If I couldn't find any soap I'd use the shower gel. Realistically what's the difference between that and liquid soap? 🤷‍♀️

OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 15/04/2025 19:05

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:03

Well, liquid soap. But it’s pretty much the same thing.

Can I ask those of you saying you’d never wash your hands with shower gel why it’s different to using it on the rest of your body?

I don't think anyone's saying they never would.

Just that if you call shower gel soap instead of shower gel, the mix up was pretty much on you.

Not that it matters but you did ask 🤷‍♂️

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 15/04/2025 19:05

Was it in a generic dispenser? Or a bottle that was clearly shower gel? I wouldn't have used shower gel to wash my hands - not because it's not just all the same soap, but because I'd assume that there was a soap dispenser that I just wasn't seeing.

I think this goes back to having a house full of kids who, if given shower gel to wash their hands, would have poured half a bottle of the stuff down the sink every time. At least with bar soap or a hand soap dispenser on the sink they couldn't do this.

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:05

Summertimeblahness · 15/04/2025 19:03

Maybe you could have said, ‘just use the shower gel’.

I never thought I’d have to! There’s one bottle. It’s not like there were six or seven different bath potions that could have been liquid soap. It was this or nothing!

OP posts:
TheBuffetInspector · 15/04/2025 19:05

If I was out of hand wash or soap at the bathroom sink, I probably would use shower gel.
I wouldn't do it in somebody else's house though. I'd assume there was something to wash hands with. Not dive in to their body wash.

It is technically the same but not when you're calling it soap and someone is wanting to wash their hands.

You sound quite close. I think I would have shouted that we're out of hand wash, just use the shower gel!