To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

[SplodgePocket]

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

I haven't ever used shower gel as a soap substitute. It's never occurred to me.

This is just as weird as not having soap or shower gel or fairy liquid or whatever handy at the sink (as a matter of course - I don't mean the odd time you run out)

The fact that it’s basically the same stuff is irrelevant- your guest said there was no soap (true) you said there was some in the shower (not true). If you shouted up there’s soap then of course she would be looking for soap, rather than just diving into your shower gel instead.

Your very odd OP.

Are you struggling for money in that you don’t have soap by the sink?

yeah it’s more or less the same thing, but I certainly wouldn’t think to use someone's shower gel as soap when I’ve used their loo…

Maybe she felt cheeky using your shower gel when she was looking for a bar of soap?

I'd probably have used the shower gel if I couldn't find soap, rather than "embarrass" the host by pointing out that there was no soap, but it wouldn't occur to me that that was what you intended, and I would feel a bit guilty /uncomfortable about "stealing" the shower gel to wash my hands.

But I wasn’t asking her to guess that it was behind the shower screen. I literally said that that was where it was. If I’d just said, “Oh, I’m sure there’s some there somewhere” I’d take your point.

This is what Google AI says (which explains it better than me!): there are differences between handwash and shower gel, primarily in their formulation and purpose.

Handwash:
Purpose: Primarily designed to remove germs and dirt from hands.

Formulation: May contain antibacterial agents and ingredients that can be harsher for the skin.

Use: Typically used more frequently throughout the day, so it's formulated to be a good germ-killing agent, even if it means it can be a bit drying.

Shower Gel:
Purpose: Cleanses the entire body, removing dirt, oil, and dead skin cells.

Formulation: Often contains moisturizing ingredients and may be gentler on the skin than handwash.

Use: Used less frequently than handwash, so the formulation can prioritize hydration and gentle cleansing.

I’d have reacted like your friend.

you're the odd one here op sorry

Using hand-wash by the sink is impersonal.

Going through other products around the bath seems a bit intrusive I suppose.

I don't know. I don't have guests 🤣

It's not that shower gel isn't a soap for me - I'd just find it a bit weird to not have a hand wash by the sink rather than dripping water across the bathroom floor to reach behind the screen to get to the shower gel. My sink is a way from the bath and shower. I'd also feel a bit odd going through someone's bath products to wash my hands, but if you are fine with it then why not?

Sorry OP, I'm with your friend here on thinking about soap and shower gel being different things. But I wouldn't have been talked to you the way she did. I would just have laughed and said that I never thought of using it as soap. She doesn't seem very nice tbh, does she got form for putting you down?

You're the odd one, soap isn't the same as shower gel.

Most people have soap or hand-wash by the basin. Whilst there isn't much difference between soap and shower gel in terms of ingredients, most people wouldn't expect to go into someone's shower to access hand-wash. It's much more normal to have them separate, it's you who's unusual here.

All though your friend sounded like a Bitch speaking to you like you was slow

i have to agree and I grew up on a council estate so we call everything different and outsiders look at us like we are dumb when it’s just the way we’ve been brought up

but if my friend told me there was soap in there I would of been looking for a bar of soap
how ever if I seen the shower gel I would of washed my hands with it

It's not that I wouldn't wash my hands with shower gel, I'm sure you're right that it's much the same thing, but I wouldn't help myself to someone else's shower gel in the same way that I'd use soap left by the sink for handwashing purposes

Don’t you have soap or errr shower gel near the basin? Why is it behind a curtain. Don’t you wash your hands after pissing/shitting?

Technically it is it’s just in different forms

soap is a solid bar and shower gel is just a liquid version

No, I wouldn't presume to use someone's shower gel, I'd definitely be looking for soap or a dispenser. Your shower gel wasn't in an obvious place either.

But it wasn’t a case of “Why isn’t it by the sink?” - I literally told her there was some behind the shower screen. My sink is right next to the bath anyway, so nowhere to trail water.

She said it had ran out didn’t you read the post before you commented to make her feel stupid?

This ^ would be my reaction as well.
But I would definitely go away thinking “how odd” about you.

You should have said to her : “There is a bottle of shower gel behind the curtain”. Just to make it clear what you meant. The formula might be the same but I choose differently shower gel and soap so they won’t be interchangeable in my head.
By the way I wonder if her reaction was in response of you insisting that there was a soap it’s just she couldn’t find it.

If you had no shower gel would you have told them to get the soap from the kitchen when you only had washing up liquid or washing powder/capsules?

My friend doesn’t have hand soap in her kitchen and just uses washing up liquid, we had a similar discussion when she just told me to use the “liquid soap”. I was looking for a liquid soap dispenser and it didn’t occur to me that she meant the fairy liquid! Yes they would both clean hands but I was looking for a specific thing.

I get expensive molten brown or rituals shower gel as presents, I’d be a bit annoyed if guests took it from the shower and used it as hand soap when it’s over £20 a bottle.

I see them all as different things with different uses despite them having similar ingredients, I’d assume everyone else does.

Are you struggling for money in that you don’t have soap by the sink?

Struggling for money?! 😆😆

Jesus, Mumsnet is barmy sometimes. I’d simply not realised the dispenser needed refilling.

This .

I’m imagining a thread like “My bff came round and asked to use the loo. She couldn’t find the soap so she helped herself to my luxurious shower gel that’s made out of powdered unicorn horns and was gifted to me by my dead grandmother. Is she a CF?”