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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

593 replies

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 18:56

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

OP posts:
OneAlertNavyAnt · 15/04/2025 19:15

It’s fine to wash your hands with shower gel, it’s basically the same thing. But there should be a dispenser on the sink so guests don’t have to use the one in your shower, that’s weird.

gertrudebiggles · 15/04/2025 19:15

I'd never use someone else's shower gel. It just seems so weird.
Potentially also quite a bit more expensive?

Soap in the main bathroom is communal though.

I think I'd have done exactly what your friend did

BeaAndBen · 15/04/2025 19:15

I wouldn't jump to shower gel unless I hadn't be able to find soap anywhere.

If someone asked where the soap was, I'd say "I ran out, just use the shower gel!"

Suszieq · 15/04/2025 19:15

@SplodgePocket

im siding with your friend here.

when we wash our hands we’re using soap irrespective whether they’re the same ingredients. If you tell me soap is there, I won’t be looking for shower gel.

So yes, don’t think ur friend was in the wrong. Next time tell them to use the shower gel

TheShiningCarpet · 15/04/2025 19:15

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:02

You see this is exactly my thinking! It’s all pretty much the same thing! What do people think is in soap that isn’t in shower gel, or vice versa?

yeah but at least leave it on the sink so its accessible and people don't have to root through your stuff to find something to wash their hands!

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:15

I get expensive molten brown or rituals shower gel as presents, I’d be a bit annoyed if guests took it from the shower and used it as hand soap when it’s over £20 a bottle.

No such luck 😄 Quid a bottle Radox!

OP posts:
Whitetruck · 15/04/2025 19:15

I think your "Here, see?" felt like you were mocking her for not understanding your not particularly clear directions, so she responded in kind.

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:16

TheShiningCarpet · 15/04/2025 19:15

yeah but at least leave it on the sink so its accessible and people don't have to root through your stuff to find something to wash their hands!

For heaven’s sake, I have explained this. I wasn’t challenging her to a game of hunt the thimble! I just hadn’t realised the dispenser was empty!

OP posts:
ilovepixie · 15/04/2025 19:16

I’m sorry but you’re the weird one. Soap and shower gel are two different things

ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 15/04/2025 19:16

Semana · 15/04/2025 19:03

I don’t think they do. They just think it’s weird that you lean in behind the shower screen to use shower gel to wash your hands. If sounds needlessly faffy.

No it doesn’t 😂😂

honestly some of these comments are sending me

I mean imagine thinking reaching behind a shower curtain to get something to wash your hands is a graft

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:17

OneAlertNavyAnt · 15/04/2025 19:15

It’s fine to wash your hands with shower gel, it’s basically the same thing. But there should be a dispenser on the sink so guests don’t have to use the one in your shower, that’s weird.

There IS a dispenser on the sink!!!!!

OP posts:
OoooopsUpsideYourHead · 15/04/2025 19:17

The mocking depends on their relationship really.

Some friends are quite argumentative and literal, so that's the way they talk to each other.

Pippinsdiary · 15/04/2025 19:17

LoopyLouLaLa · 15/04/2025 19:07

Your very odd OP.

Are you struggling for money in that you don’t have soap by the sink?

yeah it’s more or less the same thing, but I certainly wouldn’t think to use someone's shower gel as soap when I’ve used their loo…

Bit rude to call the OP odd isn’t it? I can understand the confusion but surely we’ve all used shower gel or washing up liquid as a soap alternative?

The OP has also stated as her friend was shouting for soap she presumed her dispenser had ran out…YOU are the odd one to suggest she’s struggling for money

BertieBottsEveryFlavourBeans · 15/04/2025 19:17

I can honestly say it has never occured to me to wash my hands with shower gel.

Anonymousforthisthread · 15/04/2025 19:19

I'm team friend too.

Birchavalon · 15/04/2025 19:19

Shower gel is pretty molecularly identical to handwash and shampoo - a detergent. Soap work slightly differently but they both clean.
anyone who thinks they need different cleaning agents for different areas is under the spell of marketers.

Puffalicious · 15/04/2025 19:20

I think it's rather remiss that you hadnt noticed the soap had run out when you have a guest. I generally nip to the loo to check it's clean/ towel is fresh/ soap is there when folk have popped in. It's generally to check there's no skid-marks from my occasionally disgusting children, but other things checked too 😄

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:20

GreenWheat · 15/04/2025 19:10

Most people have soap or hand-wash by the basin. Whilst there isn't much difference between soap and shower gel in terms of ingredients, most people wouldn't expect to go into someone's shower to access hand-wash. It's much more normal to have them separate, it's you who's unusual here.

How many times - she wasn’t expected to do that. I did not expect her to guess by divine inspiration.

Once again:

There is a dispenser on the sink. It must have run out, so I said there was some behind the shower screen. Once I’d said it, she knew where to look.

OP posts:
ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 15/04/2025 19:20

@Mulledjuiceright?!

like tell me you’ve never washed up with shampoo or shower gel when you’ve ran out of fairy liquid or washing up😂

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 15/04/2025 19:20

Even if the stuff inside is exactly the same, shower gel is usually in a bottle that you have to open at the end and then squeeze and maybe shake; whereas hand wash has a push-down plunger thing, which makes it much more convenient for keeping on the sink for hand-washing purposes.

I would think that somebody just using a shampoo bottle for both purposes - presumably constantly moving it between the shower and the sink - was either not very organised or so poor that they couldn't afford £1 for an actual bottle of hand wash to keep conveniently on the edge of the sink.

Edit: with a spare or two in the cupboard for when it eventually up runs out.

I still don't know why you wouldn't just say "use the shower gel - I'm out of hand wash", so she'd know she was looking for a bottle labelled 'shower gel'.

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 15/04/2025 19:21

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:12

But it wasn’t a case of “Why isn’t it by the sink?” - I literally told her there was some behind the shower screen. My sink is right next to the bath anyway, so nowhere to trail water.

She was obviously just looking for hand wash rather than shower gel 🤷‍♀️. I'd have been looking for the same but wouldn't have laughed at you or anything. I'd have used the shower gel assuming I just couldn't see the hand wash and have never mentioned it again. I'd have probably forgotten it in a few minutes it's so inconsequential.

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:21

Birchavalon · 15/04/2025 19:19

Shower gel is pretty molecularly identical to handwash and shampoo - a detergent. Soap work slightly differently but they both clean.
anyone who thinks they need different cleaning agents for different areas is under the spell of marketers.

Precisely what I’m thinking! Like those people who bought that “special” washing up liquid a few years ago that was designed for use with cold water 😆

OP posts:
ImNotARegularMomIACoolMom · 15/04/2025 19:22

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:20

How many times - she wasn’t expected to do that. I did not expect her to guess by divine inspiration.

Once again:

There is a dispenser on the sink. It must have run out, so I said there was some behind the shower screen. Once I’d said it, she knew where to look.

Honestly don’t even waste your time most of these are bored housewives with nothing better to do then give you shit and make you feel like shit and dumb over shower gel/soap

TheShiningCarpet · 15/04/2025 19:22

SplodgePocket · 15/04/2025 19:16

For heaven’s sake, I have explained this. I wasn’t challenging her to a game of hunt the thimble! I just hadn’t realised the dispenser was empty!

fair enough, that's reasonable but you then lose points for it being empty ;-)

Xmasbaby11 · 15/04/2025 19:22

I’d be fine with using the shower gel but it’s odd you didn’t mention that to her. I would say you didn’t communicate clearly, so lesson learned for next time.