To find this bizarre? Friend and soap

[SplodgePocket]

A friend came around earlier as I had a half day. Before she left, she said she was just popping to the loo. I then heard her call a minute later, “Splodge? There’s no soap”.

I have a dispenser, so I assumed it had run out and called back that there was some on the side of the bath. There was a pause and she called back, “No, not here”. I knew it was there so replied, “Just against the wall, behind the shower screen”. Again, a pause before a bewildered “No…”

I was completely confused now, as I knew very well it was there. I went through to the hall and she was standing in the doorway looking baffled. I went in, looked behind the screen and sure enough, there it was. I handed it to her and said, “Here, see?”

She burst out laughing and said, “Ohhhhh!! It’s shower gel!!” I was a bit confused and replied, “Well yes; soap, shower gel… whatever”. She was smiling at me a bit like I was a child who’d made a comical mistake. She said, “You said soap. This is shower gel. Show-er gel.” With the last bit really slowly, like she wasn’t sure English was my first language.

I was really taken aback. Who is this bizarrely literal? Surely it’s all pretty much the same thing? I thought maybe she was looking for a bar of soap and this was what had confused her somehow, but surely when you couldn’t see it you’d think “it must be the stuff in the bottle”? And even if you didn’t, wouldn’t you just have used the shower gel anyway?

I’ve never noticed her take things so literally before. Is it me or is this just really odd?!

no, from OP's subsequent updates there were two different bottles.

she has a soap dispenser on the sink which usually has liquid handwash/soap in. Because that had run out she wanted the friend to instead use a bottle of shower gel, in a shower gel bottle, that was on the side of the bath. But instead of saying 'Use the shower gel' she told her friend there was more soap on the side of the bath.

I'm a seventies child; many a time we wuz too poor to afford shampoo so had to use Cusson's Morning Glory instead. Cue tiny violin...

Jesus 14 posts at last count from you because you'd run out of hand-wash in the dispenser next to the sink and were not capable of telling friend to use the shower gel and friend was so desperate soap she's shouting about it from the bathroom but won't use a bit of shower gel (which is liquid soap whatever anyone might say). You sound like a right pair.

"It's just through the door in the garage - it says Autoklenz on the label, but it's obviously exactly the same thing!"

Actually, I have re-read the OP's posts and the she DOES have a soap dispenser on the sink. It was empty, so she suggested her guest use shower-gel as a one-off substitute.

I apologise sincerely. I am a maniac for hand hygiene.

Answer me this: would you be happy to wash your hands with the same bar of soap that someone you were visiting might have rubbed all over their balls? If you would, then carry on. If you wouldn’t, then why not?

I’d have looked for something to wash my hand with so if that’s shower gel I’d use that.

This was the point you should have twigged that most people asking for soap aren't looking for something labelled shower gel, and you should have said something like "There's shower gel, I use that as handsoap." Because most people don't actually use a product labelled as showergel as a hand washing soap, even if they agree with you that it's the same ingredients.

Your friend asked for soap and you said there was some; not that she should use the shower gel. If you told me there was soap, I'd be looking for a bar of soap.

Soap usually sits on or next to the hand basin where hands are washed, I wouldn’t expect to go looking for it in a shower cubicle.

I've never understood what shower gel is for? It just seems like rubbish watered down soap?? I think YANBU, in fact shampoo is also basically the same, but I know I'm in a minority on this. They're all the same!!! Detergent companies think we're all stupid!

Yup, I'd use that bar soap. Soap isn't a breeding ground for bacteria and bacteria on the soap are effectively washed away while using the soap, lathering and rinsing. It's how soap works.

Don't most people put another one out ready when it's running low?

Same as you do with toilet paper - or do you just shrug your shoulders if it runs out without having put a new one there ready and nonchalantly wipe your arse with the hand towel instead or simply not bother wiping at all?

I think you are both unreasonable. I wouldn’t stress over this in some roses house if I were your friend. Equally if you told me soap was in the shower I wouldn’t occur to me you meant shower gel. If you meant that, you should have said that. I don’t think they are always the same ingredients. I buy sanitising soap and very gentle shower gel. Mine certainly aren’t the same.

Go and look around literally any clinical area. You will never find a bar of soap in any of them.

If you’re happy to use it, great. Not for me, thanks 🤮

If someone’s washing their balls in the sink then the soap’s the least of my problems.

At that point, I'd have wondered why the fuck the friend couldn't have just used any vaguely soapyish liquid in the bathroom to wash her bloody* hands with, and have done with it without all this farting about! 🤷‍♀️

*Not literally. Obviously.

Soap is portable (the whole reason OP posted!)

They might’ve taken it to the shower if they ran out of shower gel. I’m not playing bumhole roulette with the soap, so I don’t use it.

They don't generally use soap in hospitals, restaurants, etc. They use detergent.

I get that shower gel does the same job as liquid soap but Yabu. If I asked a friend for soap to wash my hands and they said there’s some by the bath, I’d never in a million years assume that they meant for me to use their shower gel!

This isn't the set up at all.

OP does not only use shower gel and expect herself or guests to go hunting for it every time. It was instead of the normal soap dispenser, by the sink, which was unexpecdly empty.

Cancel the cheque, cancel the bizarre misreading that she doesn’t have soap as standard

What do the people who are worrying about bum bacteria from bar soap do about using liquid soap? Everybody touches the pump dispenser, but unlike bar soap the pump is not routinely rinsed clean by shedding a layer of soap.

@hereismydog They also have aseptic techniques and foot or elbow operated taps. Not things that are usually found in household bathrooms or public conveniences. Because people using household bathrooms generally aim for clean, not asepsis.

I’m pretty sure I would have known you were on about the shower gel lol but then again I have no problem washing my hands with a bit of shampoo if there’s nothing else.
Loving all the posts that are saying that it would never occur to them to use shower gel to wash their hands lol

I always love these threads where "AIBU?" is such a rhetorical question.

OP: AIBU?
Posters: Yes
OP: No, I'm not.
Posrers: Yes
OP: No, I'm not.
Posters: Yes
OP: No, I'm not.
Posters: Yes
OP: No, I'm not.
One poster: No
OP: FINALLY! See, I knew I was right.

I suspect she found you condescending and patronising (in a “look- it was here all along, silly!” way)
when it was actually you calling it soap when it was shower gel

and it irked her that you were trying to make out she wasn’t looking properly when it was you not communicating properly

so I reckon she just responded in kind.