18 year old son asked for lunch by family member

[EWAB]

i didn’t know how I should title the thread.

My son is 18 so an adult. A man. He lives at home and will go to university in September.

If a kind of family member, a woman, I imagine in her late 60s/70s told him she was going to be in London over Easter and would he meet her for lunch, would you be tempted to tag along?

Why? Have you been invited?

What are you worried about?

No. Why would you?

Do you have reason to think she means him some kind of harm? It seems a harmless enough thing to do, if your DS is willing.

Why? Because you’d enjoy lunch or to “protect” your son or??

Have you been invited?

How was he invited, directly contacted by the relative?

In which case no I wouldn't tag along.

If it's your dm I'd ask if I'm expected to be there as well.

It’s impossible to say. There’s clearly a reason you’re not comfortable with it. What’s the backstory?

I wouldn't go unless I was specifically asked...seems like a nice thing to do though unless there's a backstory

No.

Tag along? fuck no what an odd thing to even think about doing.

I feel like we are missing half a story here!

I think we need more context. Is this a safeguarding concern (is he at some sort of risk from the family member?)…or are you jealous… or has the young person been a bit sheltered so you don’t want him travelling alone?

Tag along for a free lunch? Or to make sure this kind woman who is related to your adult son doesn’t try to seduce him?

DS is the same age. His auntie is early 60s. She invites him for lunch/dinner occasionally and I don’t tag along. If it’s a family get together, that’s different.

In no way, shape or form, no. Unless there’s going to be an enormous dripfeed about how this is your estranged sister who has just been released from prison after the mass murder of unaccompanied teenage boys.

These threads are so annoying - intriguing question which clearly needs more info - one post only from the OP.

What are you concerned about?

Do you live outside London and think that he would struggle getting there or being in London ?

Is this person “tricky” and likely to have a motive for the meeting that your son is unlikely to spot or be able to say no to an unreasonable request?

Are you jealous that he’d be travelling to London as you’d like to go too?

Are you jealous because you’d like to spend time with this person?

I assume you’re not worried about a romantic motivation .

In my family, possibly if that was the only time you’d see the relative (eg my cousin is currently visiting from abroad. I’m tagging along to a lunch she planned with my mum as we both want to see each other and there’s no other convenient time. It’s a totally fine thing to do. A few months ago my mum tagged along to a visit to my aunt for a similar reason, plus we have more fun when there’s more of us).

But I wouldn’t feel a need to do this. And if I wanted to I’d ask son if he wanted me to join first.

My 18 year old son wouldn’t want to go to lunch with an elderly female relative. Maybe if it was his granny, in which case no I wouldn’t tag along.

Are you the gran/aunt who has invited the lad and his mum wants to muscle in?

If you are the mum let them develop their own adult to adult relationship.

What do you mean by 'a kind of family member '?
Does your DS know her?
Is it at her home or a restaurant?

To treat them both to lunch, or to be bought lunch?

What’s their relationship? Are they close?

Tag along what for?

What are you afraid of or what do you think you're tagging along will achieve or prevent?

Does he want to go?

You have a hunch about the motivation- what is it?