I hate having two kids

[itwouldbefineif]

Hate it. Hate it. All of my friends were one and done and I sort of wish I’d done the same. Except then I wouldn’t have one of them. It would be fine if I was a SAHM and I only had one at a time but I can’t do that.

How old are they?

Stop comparing yourself and make changes then. It won’t always be awful.

How old op? I found the transition from 1 child to 2 incredibly tough...fat tougher than going from 0-1.

What, like putting one back? Anyway, I’m not comparing myself so much as recognising that life is bloody tough in a way it isn’t when i only have one child.

They are four and a half and two.

Does their dad pull his weight properly?

I find this is nearly always the problem with a mother is struggling.

Toddlers are hard work op....those are quite tiring ages. It gets much easier and then there will come a point where you'll find having two is actually easier in some ways as they'll be able to keep each other occupied and play together.

He has been doing so @OoooopsUpsideYourHead although I had to read him the riot act not so long ago. But he isn’t here much during the week due to work. Weekends we tend to have a child each but I suppose that means there’s no break, whereas once DH having a child meant a break for me and vice versa.

My future just feels full of squabbles and arguments and tale telling tbh.

I love having 2!
Those ages were not the best but I found once they were 6 and 3 that they played together loads and were company for each other. They argued a lot too.

Try and meet some people who have more than one, it's pretty common and you might feel less alone.

Agree with PP who said that going from 1 to 2 was harder than none to 1. Those are very tricky ages. The 4 year old will start school soon (September?) and this will alter the dynamic quite a bit. Do they go to nursery/childcare? I think divide and conquer isn't quite the right approach. You and your DH need some time without both of them to switch off a bit.

Easier said than done though … we just don’t have anyone to have them.

Give it a few years this will be a god send mine play together all the time now it would be so hard with just 1 they always have a friend to play with

I knew as soon as you posted they’d be four and two. You’ve nearly broken the back of it now, it’s going to get so much easier.

I hope you’re right but I’m not hopeful. Constant constant arguing.

As everyone has said it gets way easier.
it was hard when mine were that age, especially with very limited outside help. Give it a year or so and you’ll probably be finding things much easier than your one and done friends

He'll have to take two then, just like you do.

You need a break.

Not what you want to hear, but it's why I stuck at one.
Just hope it gets easier as they get older.

It can be tough. A big step for me was having coat hooks at DD1's level so that she could put on her own coat and shoes to go out. Those of us who have come out the other side will tell you that it does get better and you really will feel nostalgic for some of these days.

My DGran had 5 DDs. When my mother mentioned that 2 DC was tough, DGran was totally devoid of sympathy and she told my mother, 'Well, two is about as bad as it ever gets.' Meaning that by the time #3 arrived, #1 was big enough to help.

You’re in the trenches when they are this age. Honestly, it does get better.

you really will feel nostalgic for some of these days I really won’t!

Two year olds and four year olds don't have much common ground so squabbling is par for the course. When they are four and six it will be a lot less.

I found 2 much easier than 1. We already had all the stuff and knew what to do plus they could play together.

my dsd was an only child until we had dc and she was lonely and needy, being a big sister had defiantly been positive for her.
mum sure they are advantages to just having one but you’ve got two so need to look at the advantages of that.

It gets easier when they’re older. I miss mine being little but tbh it was hard work. Mine are 10 and teenage now and it’s far easier now we can hold a conversation, they’re really funny. I don’t miss the younger years.

Didn’t you post this exact same thread a day or two ago?

I have six. 4 and 2.5 is hard. My last 3 were super close (3,1 and newborn). I used to find getting them up and out in the mornings the easiest. I would knacker them out in the morning feed them out either in a cafe or packed lunch In The park when weather was good. Home for a nap for the ones that still napped and tv for those that didn’t.
It definitely gets better hang in there.

It will get better, you still have a toddler. It’s amazing when they get to like 5+ and seeing their relationship with each other.