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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Engagement ring

473 replies

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 16:32

I got engaged to an man 18 months ago and was lucky enough to be in reciept of a nice engagement ring. Since then I have had a several friends make continual comments about the size of the ring.

My own mother could not believe someone would consider buying it for me, ‘it must be a family ring’. She said she felt her own engagement ring was spectacular but felt deflated upon seeing mines. Another friend just bursts out laughing every time she sees it. I had another one tell me it makes me look like a drag queen. One suggested I did not wear it to work - as it could make people uncomfortable (I ran this one past a couple of friends who said my ring was no more blingy than theirs and thought it was ridiculous).

These comments are from the same people who mocked me in various ways as a thirties single cat lady career woman. I swear they all thought I was ‘on the shelf’ and my only chance for success in romance would be to panic and marry the first man who asked me. In the end I did not panic at all and eventually met a lovely, man who matches me career wise, finacially and ambition wise. I met him through friends and it was all very natural.

The ring matches what we both could easily afford and is in no way ostentacious. I am honestly starting to think their reaction is more to do with the fact I got engaged at all, rather than the ring itself. Its fucking disappointing really that I feel people cannot be happy for me. I just feel instinctively people are trying to ‘burst my bubble’.

YANBU - These people are just jealous / have their own issues
YABU - You should not wear the engagement ring in public just the plain wedding band

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
MaggieBsBoat · 14/04/2025 20:01

I love your ring! And it’s a standard style of engagement ring. They are wildly jealous that’s all. Congratulations! Wear it every day for the rest of your life with pride.

justasking111 · 14/04/2025 20:02

A beautiful classic ring. Not ostentatious at all. I was imagining something blingy which this is not.

WillimNot · 14/04/2025 20:06

My DH buys me a new one each year, my first one was very cheap and tiny, the latest one was antique and is huge but I love it. I wear the original one for work and the newest one for best (I've had it insured!)

If you like it, sod them.

That's all that counts. Jewellery is very personal to the wearer. What one person loves others will find ostentatious.

An example - in my pub we have a lovely Irish lady from the GRT community. She has a beautiful white gold cross she wears and when she first got it, I said to her how beautiful it was.
She was surprised and asked me did I not find it too big, too flashy. I showed her the engagement ring replacement as I had just got it and she laughed and said, "no, clearly you wouldn't, Christ if he had asked me with that I'd have said yes straight off!"

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:08

Loub1987 · 14/04/2025 20:01

Gorgeous ring, classic beautiful!

I have to say I’m disappointed as I was hoping for a a gigantic plastic or candy item…..

Screaming 😂 I know!
and I have had memes of Elizabeth Taylor from these people slung my way! Insane!

OP posts:
mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:10

Can I just Thank all the Love ❤️ in this post! I wish you were all my friends. I posted not expecting much, overwhelmed with how kind you have all been. X

OP posts:
Strictlymad · 14/04/2025 20:10

What a nasty bunch! Do send us a pic!

CandyCane457 · 14/04/2025 20:10

They sound mean, and jealous.

You wear your gorgeous ring with pride!!!

TriagePriority · 14/04/2025 20:10

No real life photo then…

LegendIsMyFavouriteGladiator · 14/04/2025 20:11

ExpatMum41 · 14/04/2025 18:29

Ey ey, mine's an emerald 😁 Just not a massive one, a rather dinky solitaire but absolutely my style - and just so happens to be husband's favourite colour, too 🤣

(Legend is also my fave, btw, can't believe we have to wait another 10 months to see him in action again 😁)

Someone I know has an emerald and gold engagement ring and it’s stunning.

From the OP I was imagining something like this

Engagement ring
WinterIsNearlyHere · 14/04/2025 20:19

That’s a 150k ring 🤔
Shame you don’t have a photo of it on your hand…

nonevernotever · 14/04/2025 20:25

That's a lovely ring op. Enjoy it and your lovely fiancé and remember this just reflects badly on your so-called friends, not you.

Iamacatslave · 14/04/2025 20:27

Can we see it on your finger?

MikeRafone · 14/04/2025 20:28

Its a beautiful classic ring, how wonderful.

I really hope you can enjoy your engagement and put these malicious comments behind you.

Wishing you both all the happiness

Nomsdeplume · 14/04/2025 20:29

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 17:57

Here you go - be kind 😂

Wow! That is spectacular. Congratulations.

Do you mind sharing how many carats it is?

I am so sorry that you are facing this jealousy from those close to you. I am glad that you didn’t settle and have found happiness.

My ring is pretty large for our area (this was 16 years ago) and the amount of comments, both negative and positive that I got when first engaged was unbelievable. Thankfully my nearest were very happy for us.

WinterIsNearlyHere · 14/04/2025 20:31

Do people actually believe this is real? 😏
There’s no way OP has a 150K ring. Unless she shows up a real life photo, I don’t believe it 🙈

RunningJo · 14/04/2025 20:32

That ring is absolutely gorgeous! congrats on your engagement.
Sounds like your friends have a serious case of envy!.

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:32

5c

Engagement ring
OP posts:
mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:34

TriagePriority · 14/04/2025 20:10

No real life photo then…

Pending ….

OP posts:
Spankmeonthebottomwithawomansweekly · 14/04/2025 20:34

WinterIsNearlyHere · 14/04/2025 20:31

Do people actually believe this is real? 😏
There’s no way OP has a 150K ring. Unless she shows up a real life photo, I don’t believe it 🙈

Why can't she have a £150k ring?

She might not, but plenty do.

Mine is a mere £40k, and I wear it every day. - not so stealth boast, so whatever

Londontown12 · 14/04/2025 20:35

Jealous !
u have a career and a good man ! Wear the ring and enjoy it ! X

Pogpog21 · 14/04/2025 20:35

It’s an amazing ring!! I love it. People are jealous. Enjoy!

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:35

Spankmeonthebottomwithawomansweekly · 14/04/2025 20:34

Why can't she have a £150k ring?

She might not, but plenty do.

Mine is a mere £40k, and I wear it every day. - not so stealth boast, so whatever

Excatly 👏

OP posts:
Londontown12 · 14/04/2025 20:36

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:32

5c

Wow that is beautiful as above people probs jealous I love it 😻 x

WinterIsNearlyHere · 14/04/2025 20:36

OK fair enough! I stand corrected!

almondfinger · 14/04/2025 20:38

Wow, what a ring, it's stunning. Wear with pride. Its jealousy pure and simple. These people are not now or ever were your friends.

Wait till you throw the eternity ring beside it, they will lose their s*&t completely!!!

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