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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Engagement ring

473 replies

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 16:32

I got engaged to an man 18 months ago and was lucky enough to be in reciept of a nice engagement ring. Since then I have had a several friends make continual comments about the size of the ring.

My own mother could not believe someone would consider buying it for me, ‘it must be a family ring’. She said she felt her own engagement ring was spectacular but felt deflated upon seeing mines. Another friend just bursts out laughing every time she sees it. I had another one tell me it makes me look like a drag queen. One suggested I did not wear it to work - as it could make people uncomfortable (I ran this one past a couple of friends who said my ring was no more blingy than theirs and thought it was ridiculous).

These comments are from the same people who mocked me in various ways as a thirties single cat lady career woman. I swear they all thought I was ‘on the shelf’ and my only chance for success in romance would be to panic and marry the first man who asked me. In the end I did not panic at all and eventually met a lovely, man who matches me career wise, finacially and ambition wise. I met him through friends and it was all very natural.

The ring matches what we both could easily afford and is in no way ostentacious. I am honestly starting to think their reaction is more to do with the fact I got engaged at all, rather than the ring itself. Its fucking disappointing really that I feel people cannot be happy for me. I just feel instinctively people are trying to ‘burst my bubble’.

YANBU - These people are just jealous / have their own issues
YABU - You should not wear the engagement ring in public just the plain wedding band

OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
AngelicKaty · 14/04/2025 20:39

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:32

5c

I was just about to ask you the carat of the diamond OP because the previous photo (not on your hand) really wasn't that clear, although I suspected it was large. It's absolutely stunning and you must be so thrilled (I would be! 😃 ). It's very clear that your so-called "friends" are all eaten up with jealousy. I'd wear it with joy and pride and not pay any attention to their juvenile comments. Mind you, the one who laughs I'm a bit worried about - she sounds totally unhinged and probably needs professional help! 😜

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:40

almondfinger · 14/04/2025 20:38

Wow, what a ring, it's stunning. Wear with pride. Its jealousy pure and simple. These people are not now or ever were your friends.

Wait till you throw the eternity ring beside it, they will lose their s*&t completely!!!

Its already in progress ….

OP posts:
85reasons · 14/04/2025 20:41

I'm shocked that you think this ring is "in no way ostentatious" - come on now, it's bigger than almost any ring anyone will ever see anyone wearing. The fact that you insist on describing it as "in no way ostentatious" probably reveals what the problem is here.

Ihavenoclu · 14/04/2025 20:43

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:40

Its already in progress ….

Your ring is beautiful. If I was your friend I'd be drooling over it. It is stunning.

Munnygirl · 14/04/2025 20:43

Your ring is exquisite! Wear it with pride and ignore the jealousy

SiobhanSharpe · 14/04/2025 20:45

Wow! Love your ring.

Topjoe19 · 14/04/2025 20:46

I'd be shoving that beauty in their face!

Congratulations OP. You deserve every bit of happiness.

They are definitely jealous. I can't imagine as a grown woman being anything but delighted for you & wouldn't dream of making a nasty comment

SiobhanSharpe · 14/04/2025 20:47

It's absolutely beautiful on your hand too. Suits you very well.

WinterIsNearlyHere · 14/04/2025 20:48

Erm... sorry to keep nit picking but that's not the same ring. The stock photo ring has 6 claws and the one on your finger has 4...

AlanShore · 14/04/2025 20:49

violetqueen6 · 14/04/2025 18:25

It's a lovely , lovely ring and not at all over the top of whatever rude people have been saying.
Honestly , some people !!

You literally cannot tell if it is over the top or not from that picture

CobraChicken · 14/04/2025 20:50

The one on your hand is not the same ring as the Pragnell one you posted.

Horses7 · 14/04/2025 20:50

YANBU
Probably jealousy is at the root of it all.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/04/2025 20:50

They are both stunning but different rings
6 claws on the first photo compared to 4 on the 2nd

And the "here it is" not oh it's similar

Megifer · 14/04/2025 20:50

It looks like the number of claws holding it in have reduced by 2 and are spaced differently, it looks different to their website. I'd query that with them if it cost that much.

Lovely ring, way too big for me but I'd never say that IRL!

BuntyBeaufort · 14/04/2025 20:50

You have my sympathy for knowing so many nasty arseholes. And my congratulations on your engagement and your good taste.

CobraChicken · 14/04/2025 20:50

WinterIsNearlyHere · 14/04/2025 20:48

Erm... sorry to keep nit picking but that's not the same ring. The stock photo ring has 6 claws and the one on your finger has 4...

Cross posted with you 😃

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 14/04/2025 20:51

CobraChicken · 14/04/2025 20:50

Cross posted with you 😃

Same !

WinterIsNearlyHere · 14/04/2025 20:52

Others might catch on in time too lol...

Condensedmilkdrinker · 14/04/2025 20:56

Is it actually a diamond? Or a "Tru Diamond"? Unless you live in a mansion with a millionaire fiancé sorry but I would presume it was fake.

Hwi · 14/04/2025 20:57

A fellow student got engaged, she was 19 and the comments from several girls on the course were 'awful, so old-fashioned, horrendous-looking, like my grandma's' - it was an antique Cartier ring and they were so jealous, it was unseemly!

GRex · 14/04/2025 20:57

That ring will have saved you a fortune in wedding guests, gifts and other expenses; great that it did its job of shining a light on the bad people around you. Have a private ceremony with close family (not mum) and true friends, then enjoy a life free of the toxic ones.

ForeverPombear · 14/04/2025 20:57

Looks much bigger and better on your finger than the picture - I now understand why the ring cost so much!

Maybe have a green clothing theme for your Mum and friends at your wedding.

notgettinganyyounger · 14/04/2025 20:58

Those are 2 different rings

mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 20:59

GRex · 14/04/2025 20:57

That ring will have saved you a fortune in wedding guests, gifts and other expenses; great that it did its job of shining a light on the bad people around you. Have a private ceremony with close family (not mum) and true friends, then enjoy a life free of the toxic ones.

I actually said this to my husband to be today - you got me an amazing filter with this ring 😂

OP posts:
mulberrybeige · 14/04/2025 21:00

Condensedmilkdrinker · 14/04/2025 20:56

Is it actually a diamond? Or a "Tru Diamond"? Unless you live in a mansion with a millionaire fiancé sorry but I would presume it was fake.

Its a diamond

OP posts:
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