Mum won't accept I don't want someone seeing my child so now I've said my mum can't either.

[RachCmomma]

For context I don't have a great relationship with my mum anyway.

I have fallen out with my brother and SIL and in retaliation they made a malicious social services report accusing me of physical abuse of my 1 year old. The police checked him over, spoke to childminder and his father ect and it was un founded.

It transpired that SIL had sent social services doctored photos of my child and a photo of him having a bruise on his eye- luckily I had a video of his injury happening as it was his first walk outside and he got too excited and fell....
Anyway understandably I have said I don't want the around my child since this happened.

My mum keeps manipulating me into letting my child see them- for example inviting them out on days when she has my son I've made it clear thst I do not want this to happen under Amy circumstances.
I've told her she needs to respect my decision and stop trying to guilt trip me into doing what she wants.

She has my son on a Tuesday and today she rang me to tell me she's planned a family day out tomorrow at a park...but SIL amd her child will be there...I've said no.. she's started shouting at me and we've had a row I've now said that as she clearly can't respect my boundaries and she isn't willing to tell them what they did was disgusting she won't be having my child on her own, as I don't trust her not to do it anyway.

Obviously now I feel awful and she's making me out to be the vilan
.. what do people think?

I'd feel the same as you.

She sounds awful, the distance will do you good.

I wouldn't trust any of these people. Maybe your mum does have some very misguided good intentions about mending the fall out but this isn't the way to go about it.

That is a hell no from me. Stand your ground. What does your mother say about them making the false and malicious claim?

She sees your child with you, or not at all. Nothing to even debate.

What does your mum think about what they did?
She doesn’t sound like she’s taken it very seriously.

She wouldn’t be near my child if she couldn’t keep them safe.

I wouldn't want my child around someone who would do that either. However bad an argument, making up a story about child abuse and wasting social services and police time is horrendous and unforgivable.
It sounds like your mum will try to sneak in visits with SIL and can't be trusted to do as you ask. I'd not allow her to have DS either.

You’re absolutely right of course! Who cares if you’re the villain? SIL seeing your dc again gives her chance to do it again. Of course you should protect your family from someone so malicious. Is your brother the golden child and you the scapegoat because that would make perfect sense.

My mum was like this

We've been estranged for five years now

I'm thankful every day for the choice i made- when you don't have supportive family, you're gonna find yourself in the situation where you have to keep your child away from people

Do right by your child and fuck everyone else ❤️

Is your brother the golden child?

Nope your brother and SIl are evil - to manipulate a photo to report to social services is disgraceful

If your mum can’t respect that then keep away from her too !!!!

Ridiculous of her to expect you to feel differently imagine if they decided that there was sufficient grounds to remove the child pending investigation if you had no video no proof it was an innocent bruise

Maybe time to stop using your mum as free childcare when you're not there.

I think you're right. Your SiL doesn't sound very well, as no healthy minded person acts as she did, and you have no way of knowing how this might next manifest. She could be a risk to your child, and I'd not chance it. I'd also be concerned about your mum having contact herself as if she thinks it's OK for you SiL to be around your child after what she did, her own judgement is flawed. They sound very chaotic and strange OP and if you can avoid your child being involved with them I think you should.

Thanks xx

Stick to your guns. If your mother is this ignorant of your wishes on this subject i wouldn't trust her with your child at all

Nothing. When I said that to her she said. "I know what you all are and om only interested in the kids" I said wow ok we're done here.

YANBU and I'm quite frankly horrified anyone has voted that you are!

These people made false claims about you abusing your child and your mum thinks it's fine to let them spend time with him. I don't advocate this often and normally think people are being too quick to suggest it but I would honestly go no contact with all of them to be honest.

Exactly this. My mum is a complete narcissist and all she can think is I want both kids and sil won't let me have both without her there. So forget what they did and my feelings about it

Sending doctored photos of your child to SS is unhinged. She must have been knowingly, deliberately dishonest.

If she'll lie to people who are supposed to protect children in order to hurt their parents then I wouldn't want to see them again. YANBU.

Yea I think I will. It's a shame cause my boy loves my mum but I don't and she isn't a nice person.

Are you making alternative childcare arrangements?

How do you know that op does this?

I have my dgc often, it’s not free childcare I enjoy being with them!

The police rang his dad and said if you have any concerns come and get him, she'll have to go thru court to get him back.... luckily he said absolutely no concerns bit he could have been gone that day.

Your SIL doctored photos of your DC and sent them to social services in order to deliberately get you into trouble? And your DM is willing to see beyond this?

I don't think you're the one to be feeling awful. They all need to take a long hard look at themselves.

The things you read on here sometimes...