Crashed a wedding brunch with son. Evicted by Sister-in-law

[Weddingbrunchcrasher]

Partner’s sister got married on Saturday. Partner asked if my 8 year old could come but was told no.

She only wanted her other brother’s daughter as a bridesmaid. Her other brother’s three stepchildren were not invited, the youngest of whom is thirteen.

I then asked her directly if I could bring him in the evening, she said that she wasn’t having an evening do but the invitation clearly went into the evening, what she said was she meant a separate evening do. No extra guests were coming in the evening.

Ex wasn’t available to look after son but he had a sleepover with a friend but they were heading off at 9:00 in the morning so I had to leave hotel to collect my son. Partner didn’t have a separate car and it didn’t occur to me that it would be a problem to head back to hotel with my son for the brunch they had arranged.

Again just did not occur to me that it would be a problem.

So we arrive and queue to get into breakfast area where I assumed brunch was but it was in a separate room and only my name was down they refused to allow my son in. I refused to leave him to go into brunch to ask if he could come in.

Partner had left phone so finally the brunch spilled out to the lawn and we joined them. We were both starving so I went to get plates. His sister came over to my son and essentially asked him to leave, sort of gently by asking him to go out on lawn with my partner. Partner left with us and we had breakfast in the pubic bit.

I actually started to cry over breakfast, then my son did. I am ashamed of myself for this.

I get I was unreasonable over wedding but the Brunch surely I wasn’t. Did I make too many assumptions?

Bride and groom have met my son. We have lived together for a year.

Partner is a bit shocked but obviously it was their actual wedding.

‘May I bring my son?’

“No”

“Don’t worry I’ll bring him anyway and make a scene if you don’t let him in”.

Everyone thinks their own children are special cases. Newsflash: they aren’t.

You asked if your child could come, got told no, brought him anyway and after now asking if you were unreasonable?

It was very clear, especially as other nieces and nephews weren't invited. People may not agree with child free weddings, but it is bride and grooms choice and clearly what they wanted here. YABU.

You were told countless times it’s a child free wedding. I’d be livid if I was your SIL and you made a scene at my wedding like that.

If she made it clear she wasn’t inviting children (except for bridesmaid) then it was a bit odd to bring your son along. I would assume if it’s a clear ‘no children’ then it applies to the whole thing. The brunch was clearly a part of the wedding celebrations. Why not just collect your son and miss this bit, seeing as you’d already had the main celebrations?

So you 'crashed' a wedding brunch thinking 'it wouldn't be a problem' after being told your DS wasn't invited?

Sorry, I think you're at fault here. I think it was clear that your child wasn't included. If you had to collect him early you should have just done that and then picked your partner up from the hotel later in the day. Did the bride or wedding party in general see you crying?

How would you feel if you walked in and BIL's three step children were at the brunch?

YABU. You were told no twice and then gate crashed anyway. Sorry but how can you not see that she was well within her rights to ask you to leave.

Why didn't you take your son home when you'd picked him up from the sleepover? Very unreasonable of you, you'd been told he wasn't welcome.

How rude of you to show up with your son when being clearly told he was not invited. Why didn't you just grab something to eat for your son separately from the guests? By going there with your son you made everyone uncomfortable and most of all your son. A no is a no.

Other children were invited, Godchildren and cousins were invited.

Was I unreasonable to think the brunch was ok? I didn’t see this as part of the wedding but post-wedding where it didn’t matter.

Bloody hell you were the one in the wrong here. Why did you think it would be ok to come back with your son when you had been told he was not invited? The brunch was clearly for the people that had been invited to the wedding as the bride had told you she wasn't inviting additional people to the evening part. You then have the cheek to be upset because he was asked to leave.

You don't bring uninvited guests to a wedding. Ever.

You especially don't then carry on and make a fuss, crying for sympathy when you get pulled up for your bad behaviour.

I cannot believe your rudeness and audacity!
you were repeatedly told no and you ignored the bride
why?!?!?
i also cannot believe your partner was on board with it
your SIL has every right to be fuming with you
your behaviour was utterly, maddeningly selfish

Gosh I hope this is some sort of reverse.

You were a complete CF and you owe them an apology.

Yep, still unreasonable regardless of how you dress it up.

You owe SIL a massive apology.

The brunch was clearly part of the wedding celebration. You're going to need to massively apologise but you want to turn this relationship around.

What’s a ‘wedding brunch’? Is this the day of the wedding or the day after?

Is ‘the brunch’ just the breakfast after because guests stayed over, or does it mean a formal wedding event? If it’s just breakfast at the hotel put on for guests bride is being pretty ott.

Yes you were unreasonable. Your child was not invited to any aspect of the wedding. You disregarded that and made assumptions. You are in the wrong. I’d have been pissed off too if I was your sil.

I think you’ve managed to upset your child, the bride and you all because you wouldn’t take “no” for the three times the bride needed to say it. Bravo!

Not only did you bring a specifically uninvited guest but also got him food as he was 'starving'?? Sweet jesus, the entitlement is strong with you!

Your poor son, being embarrassed like that in public.