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Original poster

Crashed a wedding brunch with son. Evicted by Sister-in-law

1000 replies

Weddingbrunchcrasher · 14/04/2025 14:05

Partner’s sister got married on Saturday. Partner asked if my 8 year old could come but was told no.

She only wanted her other brother’s daughter as a bridesmaid. Her other brother’s three stepchildren were not invited, the youngest of whom is thirteen.

I then asked her directly if I could bring him in the evening, she said that she wasn’t having an evening do but the invitation clearly went into the evening, what she said was she meant a separate evening do. No extra guests were coming in the evening.

Ex wasn’t available to look after son but he had a sleepover with a friend but they were heading off at 9:00 in the morning so I had to leave hotel to collect my son. Partner didn’t have a separate car and it didn’t occur to me that it would be a problem to head back to hotel with my son for the brunch they had arranged.

Again just did not occur to me that it would be a problem.

So we arrive and queue to get into breakfast area where I assumed brunch was but it was in a separate room and only my name was down they refused to allow my son in. I refused to leave him to go into brunch to ask if he could come in.

Partner had left phone so finally the brunch spilled out to the lawn and we joined them. We were both starving so I went to get plates. His sister came over to my son and essentially asked him to leave, sort of gently by asking him to go out on lawn with my partner. Partner left with us and we had breakfast in the pubic bit.

I actually started to cry over breakfast, then my son did. I am ashamed of myself for this.

I get I was unreasonable over wedding but the Brunch surely I wasn’t. Did I make too many assumptions?

Bride and groom have met my son. We have lived together for a year.

Partner is a bit shocked but obviously it was their actual wedding.

OP posts:
Original poster
Weddingbrunchcrasher · 14/04/2025 14:31

OK I accept now that is in black and white that I was out of order to bring an uninvited guest to a private catered event but it literally never occurred to me that it would be a problem. It was a buffet type breakfast thing with loads of food.

It was the morning after the wedding and children were invited just not her brothers’ partners’ kids.

There is no way on earth I would treat my sibling’s partner’s children like this.

We only had one car. I needed to collect my partner.

OP posts:
Catsandcannedbeans · 14/04/2025 14:32

It is a bit unfair that other children were invited but not your son, this would upset me. At the end of the day tho, her wedding her rules. However I would probably just have not gone and had a bitch about it to DP… I wouldn’t crash the wedding brunch. Do you think your son wasn’t invited for a spesific reason? Has he misbehaved at family events before? Surly there’s some kind of reason for excluding one child. Personally I wouldn’t exclude anyone (all the kids in my family are a bit unruly, so we’d have had to go child free lol) but I can see from some peoples perspective that their wedding is a massive deal where nothing can go wrong.

OneWittySquid · 14/04/2025 14:32

You have only been together a year and they don't know your child. They didn't invite other siblings step children only children related to them. You were massively unreasonable. You did it on purpose.

CopperWhite · 14/04/2025 14:32

The brunch was part of the wedding celebrations and it was rude of you to do that. I think you owe them a huge apology, first for bringing your child who wasn’t invited, then for not leaving when it was obvious they weren’t accommodating him, and lastly for crying and creating bad feeling at their wedding.

HunsandRoses · 14/04/2025 14:32

Weddingbrunchcrasher · 14/04/2025 14:31

OK I accept now that is in black and white that I was out of order to bring an uninvited guest to a private catered event but it literally never occurred to me that it would be a problem. It was a buffet type breakfast thing with loads of food.

It was the morning after the wedding and children were invited just not her brothers’ partners’ kids.

There is no way on earth I would treat my sibling’s partner’s children like this.

We only had one car. I needed to collect my partner.

Stop trying to make excuses and just apologise to your SIL and your son for causing upset.

Blackdow · 14/04/2025 14:33

Exasperated24 · 14/04/2025 14:23

Was the brunch the day after?

So they had the wedding, you all stayed over at the hotel, you left to pick up your son and then brought son back to the hotel. The day after the wedding?

if so I don’t think that was totally unreasonable of you! They can’t dictate who has breakfast/brunch in a hotel.

Show quote history

But she didn’t go to the public area. There was a private dining area for the brunch which the bride and groom provided for their guests the morning after the wedding. The OP tried to take her son in and was denied entry, she then waiting until the guests started leaving and the brunch was more of a spread out party in the outside area and then she walked in with her son, grabbed plates and tried to take from the wedding brunch buffet. When he wasn’t invited and she was already denied entry. SiL then had to step in and tell them to go to the public area, again.

That’s when OP took her son and had breakfast in the public restaurant. Why didn’t she do that to begin with? She just didn’t like being told no and thought she could trample over the rules and take food which the bride and groom paid for.

Bigfatsunandclouds · 14/04/2025 14:33

It was the breakfast for guests the day after the wedding, bride was OTT and mean.

OneWittySquid · 14/04/2025 14:33

They have know you a year and barely know your child. You might not even be together in a few years time.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 14/04/2025 14:33

Totally unacceptable !

Not anyone else's responsibility / fault if you were both ' starving ' YOU could have taken your child anywhere to eat..

user1492757084 · 14/04/2025 14:34

I think it was clear, Op, that you should have taken your little boy to the public breakfast room.
The fact that there was a name list for the brunch event in a private room said it all.

Many brides would never object when seeing the odd child, who had been baby sat through out the wedding the evening before, eating cornflakes with their parents - there would not usually be a strict list. Many guests would not make it down to brunch. Guests would normally be paying for their own room, their own breakfast and their baby sitter.

You were in the wrong (apology needed) but to embarrass you was mean spirited.

Upsidedownsides · 14/04/2025 14:34

Catsandcannedbeans · 14/04/2025 14:32

It is a bit unfair that other children were invited but not your son, this would upset me. At the end of the day tho, her wedding her rules. However I would probably just have not gone and had a bitch about it to DP… I wouldn’t crash the wedding brunch. Do you think your son wasn’t invited for a spesific reason? Has he misbehaved at family events before? Surly there’s some kind of reason for excluding one child. Personally I wouldn’t exclude anyone (all the kids in my family are a bit unruly, so we’d have had to go child free lol) but I can see from some peoples perspective that their wedding is a massive deal where nothing can go wrong.

All children of partners were excluded. I imagine the bride’s brother would’ve been most upset to see the kid of a current girlfriend at an event when his step-children weren’t invited either.

AreMyEyesGreen · 14/04/2025 14:34

Im sorry OP but you were being utterly ridiculous!
You should not have brought your son anywhere near the wedding. And you should not have kept asking if he could attend.

What is wrong with people!!

RancidRuby · 14/04/2025 14:34

SpainToday · 14/04/2025 14:29

If you had to leave early to collect your son and therefore miss then that's just part and parcel of parenting, sometimes childcare doesn't align. Your partner could have explained your absence to the bride and groom and then got a lift or a taxi home. There was absolutely no need for you to passive aggressively turn up with your son and cause a scene by crying. You also upset your son by putting him in that situation.

The OP's childcare issues are not the bride's problem!!!

I didn't say they were.

Livelaughlurgy · 14/04/2025 14:34

You keep going on about it being the morning after the wedding and not the wedding, but if it's no big deal then why were you there? When the staff said no, why did you persist? If it's only the brunch then why not go straight to the public breakfast?

ThatWildMintSloth · 14/04/2025 14:34

YABU. You were very clearly told no, more than once and you still took it upon yourself to try and do as you please and then are throwing your toys out of your pram still.
The bride was spot on to enforce her boundaries to you, who was trying to trample all over them.
Incredibly disrespectful OP

HenDoNot · 14/04/2025 14:35

Do you think your son wasn’t invited for a spesific reason?

Because the bride and groom barely know him, would be my guess.

AmytheDancingBrick · 14/04/2025 14:35

Blimey OP you're getting a hard time. A child free wedding is fine if that floats your boat, but breakfast the next day and asking him to leave is a bit OTT.

HunsandRoses · 14/04/2025 14:35

@Weddingbrunchcrasher

I wouldn't worry though OP, I doubt you'll get invited to much in the future so it won't be a problem.

I bet the family jungle drums are beating over this one!

Jom222 · 14/04/2025 14:35

what on earth were you thinking to pull this stunt? Yes it sounds like SIL is a bitch but it was HER wedding not yours. How dare you even try this??

Do you often find yourself embroiled in very dramatic situations? I'm assuming you do bc this is frankly batshit.

And the worst part is you dragged your child in the middle of it. I bet he'll remember this day with horror forever. Its honestly unbelievable and I really hope this is a fake post.

2024onwardsandup · 14/04/2025 14:36

I’m mean if for no other reason your son wouldn’t have been paid for!!!!!! You say there was loads of food - the hotel would have catered for the number of guests paid for!!!!

and from an etiquette basis god lord!

randomchap · 14/04/2025 14:36

OK I accept now that is in black and white that I was out of order to bring an uninvited guest to a private catered event but it literally never occurred to me that it would be a problem

You seriously didn't think that bringing someone uninvited to an invite only event would be an issue? Or were you just hoping that no-one would stop you?

luckylavender · 14/04/2025 14:37

That's pretty shameless of you. It could not have been clearer that he was not invited. You made a scene. I'm sure the bride had better things to do than policing. She will always remember how you spoiled her wedding.

Shinyandnew1 · 14/04/2025 14:37

I get I was unreasonable over wedding but the Brunch surely I wasn’t. Did I make too many assumptions?

Yes, you were unreasonable.
Yes, you made too many assumptions!

Jom222 · 14/04/2025 14:37

Weddingbrunchcrasher · 14/04/2025 14:15

Other children were invited, Godchildren and cousins were invited.

Was I unreasonable to think the brunch was ok? I didn’t see this as part of the wedding but post-wedding where it didn’t matter.

very very very unreasonable. Like insanity level unreasonable

thepariscrimefiles · 14/04/2025 14:37

You probably were unreasonable but I don't think they should have thrown your son out. I'm not sure what problem he was causing. It was the day after the wedding, so he wasn't ruining her wedding day.

I'd steer very clear of your partner's family from now on.

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