Crashed a wedding brunch with son. Evicted by Sister-in-law

[Weddingbrunchcrasher]

Partner’s sister got married on Saturday. Partner asked if my 8 year old could come but was told no.

She only wanted her other brother’s daughter as a bridesmaid. Her other brother’s three stepchildren were not invited, the youngest of whom is thirteen.

I then asked her directly if I could bring him in the evening, she said that she wasn’t having an evening do but the invitation clearly went into the evening, what she said was she meant a separate evening do. No extra guests were coming in the evening.

Ex wasn’t available to look after son but he had a sleepover with a friend but they were heading off at 9:00 in the morning so I had to leave hotel to collect my son. Partner didn’t have a separate car and it didn’t occur to me that it would be a problem to head back to hotel with my son for the brunch they had arranged.

Again just did not occur to me that it would be a problem.

So we arrive and queue to get into breakfast area where I assumed brunch was but it was in a separate room and only my name was down they refused to allow my son in. I refused to leave him to go into brunch to ask if he could come in.

Partner had left phone so finally the brunch spilled out to the lawn and we joined them. We were both starving so I went to get plates. His sister came over to my son and essentially asked him to leave, sort of gently by asking him to go out on lawn with my partner. Partner left with us and we had breakfast in the pubic bit.

I actually started to cry over breakfast, then my son did. I am ashamed of myself for this.

I get I was unreasonable over wedding but the Brunch surely I wasn’t. Did I make too many assumptions?

Bride and groom have met my son. We have lived together for a year.

Partner is a bit shocked but obviously it was their actual wedding.

I wouldn't force my child into somewhere where they weren't invited in the first place so it's not something I have to worry about.

He had come from a sleepover and likely had already had breakfast. OP was right there to buy him some food if he was still hungry.

The only person causing a scene was the gatecrashing CF OP, who had been told multiple times that no, she couldn't bring her kid to the wedding of her boyfriend's sister and tried to do so anyway.

I can't imagine the bride's (and OP boyfriend's) family are thrilled to bits with his relationship with the OP.
Seeing as boundaries are clearly not her thing.

And two wrongs make a right do they?

Like not crashing someone's wedding brunch?

Ok I’ll break it down so you understand…..when I got married we had an evening do. 80 guests attended, I paid for 65 buffet guests on account that I knew most ppl don’t eat that late and some will have gone to bed (they may not have though I may have still had the full 80 all wanting to eat). The amount of food came out was based on 65 guests, once it was gone it was gone (there was loads left as I was correct). I’ll say it again the amount “per head” is to estimate the amount of food, it’s not actually “per head” that would usually only come into play when it’s a sit down meal.

Sometimes Google is dangerous when you don’t understand correctly.

I’m sure that the NSPCC will be nominating you for an award for your efforts in ensuring that perfectly healthy and loved children are not deprived of a free wedding brunch buffet. What nobler cause could there be?

.Do you know anything about the OP other than what she has posted in this one thread? Otherwise why character assassinate someone for one thoughtless act?

Please do keep those particular ones to yourself.

It's amazing how.many entitled cf's are around

Of course unreasonable but you totally redeemed yourself by making the word "evening" line up on every line of a paragraph

But apparently not to display them in public.

Aren't you doing it to the bride for not feeding someone else's uninvited child?

I haven't crashed anyone's wedding brunch. But if someone had crushed mine, I'd have handled it with dignity and grace.

A daft response to my opinion on what many here deem acceptable at weddings.

Being petty over food and making guests pay for drinks is what I deem unacceptable.

I would be cringing at my behaviour if I were the bride. There is no doubt the OP wasn't particularly mindful, but a gracious person would have quietly seethed and absolutely let it go, particularly as the OP and her son live with the brides brother.

It is such a bizarre response to something as insignificant as a child's plate of food.

And you paid how much…? Cost per head.

If you chose to pay for less people - still cost per head - on the assumption that not everyone would be eating that’s the choice you made. Once the food ran out they weren’t bringing more out. The same with breakfast, cost per head. And as its breakfast which potentially involved a cooked breakfast / items to order in addition to the buffet they will be stricter. And rightly so.

I have not said one single thing about the bride's character. I have been discussing the incident. Big difference.

Likewise you’ve torn the bride to metaphorical pieces. What’s the difference?

By rolling over and allowing them to crash it?

And they did. She wasn’t rude to the child. No one was. The OP clearly states this.

You’ve made it quite clear how cruel, disgusting and mean that you think she is.

Exactly.

Er what?! Crass? Cruel?

If it was one child, absolutely.

I don’t know why people think I did this to get one over on the bride because my son wasn’t invited to the main event the day before.

Really? You really can't fathom why people would think that?

No. Your username suggests a tendency to overreaction. I feel pretty balanced and can see both sides. The OP was wrong. But the bride was also petty.

I am not sure huge apologies are needed from anyone. Though both sides need to learn something from this.

I thought the OP cried separately somewhere? If she did this in front of all in the wedding brunch then yes, she should apologise for that.

And don’t worry about not ‘arguing the toss’ with me any more. I daresay I will cope ;-)