Best friend husband unfriended me on Facebook

[Bernie54]

To be offended that my best friends husband has unfriended me on Facebook. I only noticed by chance. Best friend says don’t take it personal ? But we have been best friends since 14, we are now both 54….they now live quite remotely about 5 hours away, so I don’t see her. I just find it odd behaviour. Should I care or even be bothered ?

That sounds odd.
Was it sudden, did you have an argument ? Sorry lots of questions.
I would want to know why too.
Hope you get an answer

She said don't take it personally, so does she know the reason why and did she tell you?

If it's just that you two never communicate on there, it's not personal. He's probably just having a tidy up.

It’s Facebook not real life

My husband often clears out Facebook and leaves WhatsApp chats. He seems to have no concern for what people might think, he only focuses on what he wants / or doesn't want to see in his newsfeed.

Maybe he finds your postings not to his taste or annoying or something.

Why would you care if your best friends husband is your friend on Facebook? Also at 54 why would you care if anyone was your friend on Facebook? I thought only young people are bothered about how many friends they have on Facebook.

What are you posting on Facebook? Maybe he finds your posts irritating?

There is another thought train. Is he 'liking ' stuff he doesn't want you to see and report back ? Although if he's 'friends' with his actual wife on there, bang goes that theory.

This is why social media is not good for our mental health. I too have gone to look someone up and found 'add friend ' or not been able to find someone and started wondering if they've blocked me and then wondering why on earth they would indeed block me when I barely know them and certainly don't remember offending them ? (I'm not a "poster") So can't be annoying?

So I get how you feel. But social media isn't representative of real life. Some people do just have culls and get a bit 'harsh' with it.

I wish we could live a 90s style life again where none of this mental health damaging shit existed!

Take a break from social media - see how you feel by doing that.

So what? You are a 54 year old woman, not a silly teenager!

I wouldn't worry about it. I'm guessing that what you post isn't what he wants to see on his fb feed.
I unfriend and unfollow people I am friends with in real life, when they post things I don't necessarily want on my feed. I'm sure I've had people unfollow or unfriend me because what I post.

I don’t even have a Facebook (not since 2015) but I can see why this would bother some people. I wouldn’t mind if my friends husband wasn’t my Facebook friend to begin with But If the partner of someone you’re close to went to the trouble to unfriend you after several years it may indicate he might be annoyed with you or dislike you - or why bother? It’s not about the number of friends you have it’s about the fact someone has deliberately unfriended you.

That said, OP - he could just be pruning his friendship list and it’s not a big deal to him. He probably thinks he won’t see you for a very long time so maybe wants to keep it to more current friends or he doesn’t like the stuff you post.

YABU

He's probably just having a cull and keeping people he's actively friends with.

Why would he keep his wife's friend when the both of you don't even see each other anymore?

I'm sure if either you or her husband want to know what is going on in each other's lives, you could just ask your friend/his wife.

I think it’s weird to have your friend’s husband as a FB friend if you’re not also close, and weirder still to mind that he’s unfriended you. Who even notices this stuff?

I regularly snooze blokes on FB for being fascists. I assume they snooze me for being a leftie wanker. Do you talk politics?

Sometimes its not about the person, i just dislike their posts, even non political ones, so i delete them

I've recently had this same scenario. My DH best friends wife has unfriended me with no reason. She is also my dd godmother. It's more that it takes conscious steps to unfriend on FB. Why not snooze or hide instead? It has wrecked my head tbh and I can't bring myself to confront in real life.

Who cares? He's probably just having an admin clear out, as people do. I used to go through it and think would I have a coffee with this person, no. Hardly anyone even uses it anymore, it's really not a big deal.

Seriously?! Its just social media ffs. 🙄

If that happened to me - which it may well have done - I'd come to the conclusion that person is not a real friend.

You're a total drama llama OP. Person who only had you on FB in the first place to be polite, who now never sees you, has unfriended you. It's a non-issue and there's nothing odd about it. FB isn't used as a popularity contest for everyone. Not everyone wants 2740 friends on their list. Some people only keep actual friends who are part of their life, on there. My own list never goes above about 100, I weed people out each time I leave a hobby group or workplace etc. As well as a regular cull of people I used to be friends with but aren't in contact with them any more. Which doesn't mean we've fallen out, just they're no longer part of my life, so why do they need to be on my Facebook?

@Tereseta if you confront your unfriender you'll look like an insane weirdo. There's nothing to confront. Literally nothing. Except your own messed up insecurity levels. With a therapist.

FB is a tool, people will use it however best suits them. Why unfriend someone? Because I don't like what they post.
Because they're no longer part of my life.
Because I don't exist to fuss over others protecting their fragile egos by keeping them on my page forever even if I don't need them there.
Because when I want to see what a friend is upto or send them a message, I don't want to wade through a list of 1500 people I never contact in order to find the one I do want.

I really don't see the point of having 'Facebook Friends' that sit on your account and never interact, it's creepy. I hate it when colleagues ask if I'm on Facebook or send friend requests -now I just ignore them, if they mention it, I say 'Oh I never use it'.

I think he probably had a cull. Nothing personal. Don't over think it.

Expect he wishes he had never set up a Facebook account. Just one more thing to worry about and have to manage. Or wonder what utter rubbish AI is going to deem you are interested in / analyse your data.

Maybe he doesn't like your posts or is only friends with you through his wife and it feels weird to be friends direct itswim.

No you shouldn't be bothered at all. It's not odd. Facebook feeds are just endless trashy videos from strangers with barely any posts from friends. Seems to be there only one or two constant posters who make it through the feed. Do you post all the time?

And there's me who finds it weird that friends and relatives of DH want to add me to their Facebook

You're 54...far too old to be worrying about such things.
If you've done nothing to to upset him then shrug and forget about it. Its SM - its all vacuous BS anyway. We'd all be better off if was just deleted from the earth.