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AIBU?

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Original poster

Best friend husband unfriended me on Facebook

269 replies

Bernie54 · 12/04/2025 00:28

To be offended that my best friends husband has unfriended me on Facebook. I only noticed by chance. Best friend says don’t take it personal ? But we have been best friends since 14, we are now both 54….they now live quite remotely about 5 hours away, so I don’t see her. I just find it odd behaviour. Should I care or even be bothered ?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 12/04/2025 08:14

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 12/04/2025 00:42

My husband often clears out Facebook and leaves WhatsApp chats. He seems to have no concern for what people might think, he only focuses on what he wants / or doesn't want to see in his newsfeed.

This. I actively had a grown adult send me a dramatic message about unfriending them. It's just fb ffs

Unrelated38 · 12/04/2025 08:30

I unfriend anyone who shares anything racist, homophobic, benefit bashing, anything critical of other people really, I use Facebook to keep up with friends and family and things that I enjoy seeing. Not to see people slagging other people off.

Sherararara · 12/04/2025 08:33

Bernie54 · 12/04/2025 00:28

To be offended that my best friends husband has unfriended me on Facebook. I only noticed by chance. Best friend says don’t take it personal ? But we have been best friends since 14, we are now both 54….they now live quite remotely about 5 hours away, so I don’t see her. I just find it odd behaviour. Should I care or even be bothered ?

At 54 I imagine you can make up your own mind whether you should care or
be bothered. Which clearly you are, as you decided it was worthy of putting on MN.

Of course the whole thing could be completely made up.
But don’t worry, I totally believe you.

Riaanna · 12/04/2025 08:36

Do you post irritating stuff?

SwanOfThoseThings · 12/04/2025 08:38

Come on OP - you're letting those of us in the 50s Club down by having any fucks left to give about this crap! 😄

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 12/04/2025 08:38

People can unfriend as they see fit. I clear out anyone who lists their pronouns, posts constantly about the Middle East, politics or conspiracy theories

PishPish · 12/04/2025 08:38

HoldYourHat · 12/04/2025 08:11

As much as people say, it’s just social media get over it, act your age, it’s not real life - whatever. Social media has replaced these things to some extent for many people, so someone you know who freezes you out is just the same as if they snubbed you in the street.

Because there is not much more detail in your post, it is hard to know why. Maybe ask your friend and take it from there.

It is in no way the same, or anything like. The OP hasn’t been ‘frozen out’ — the husband of a geographically-distant friend whom she never sees stopped following her on SM. Perhaps he had a big cull of people. Maybe he’s getting divorced and is culling his ex’s friends. Maybe the OP never posts. Maybe she posts all the time and he’s sick of cat gifs or conspiracy theories.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 12/04/2025 08:40

Maybe he was caught perving on your bikini bike from Corfu 2006 and got told to delete you

AngelicKaty · 12/04/2025 08:43

@Bernie54 You shouldn't care or be bothered. It's Mugbook, not real life.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 12/04/2025 08:45

Do you post endless pics of cute cats? What you're eating?
Could it be something like that?

pearbottomjeans · 12/04/2025 08:45

Whocanbelieveit · 12/04/2025 00:45

Why would you care if your best friends husband is your friend on Facebook? Also at 54 why would you care if anyone was your friend on Facebook? I thought only young people are bothered about how many friends they have on Facebook.

Young people don’t use Facebook 😁

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 12/04/2025 08:48

Oh god - the fact you mentioned it to your friend shows me that maybe you are a little bit intense?

Do you post on FB a lot? Maybe he was having a tidy up and was only seeing your posts or something? Maybe he feels you’re more his wife’s friend which is reasonable.

I barely check FB these days because I’d rather speak to people. And I say that as someone in my 30s 🤣 Social media is addictive and causes so many issues - like this.

TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 12/04/2025 08:50

Tereseta · 12/04/2025 02:32

I've recently had this same scenario. My DH best friends wife has unfriended me with no reason. She is also my dd godmother. It's more that it takes conscious steps to unfriend on FB. Why not snooze or hide instead? It has wrecked my head tbh and I can't bring myself to confront in real life.

That's a tangential relationship to be a godmother.
Has she also stopped interacting/doing godmother duties with your daughter? If not, it's probably that's she's realised fb is just too childish for grown-ups
If however she's stopped interacting with your dd, you need to ask her why, otherwise it's unfair on your daughter

Createausername1970 · 12/04/2025 08:55

I don't do social media, but I would assume he was having a clear out. Some of my friends have Facebook, and to be honest I would find it odd if they were "friends" with my husband. What would be the point? They don't see him. I have been friends with one of them for 20 years, I think I have seen her husband about 5 times in total.

I wouldn't worry OP.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 12/04/2025 09:00

Do you actually have a relationship/friendship with HIM?

IdLikeThingToSpiralIntoControl · 12/04/2025 09:00

DH unfriended a load of my friends once the DC’s had left school.
He rarely saw any of my friends at this point, and didn’t need to know what the kids were up to as they were older teens, so just unfriended and had a clear out. It didn’t mean anything.

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 12/04/2025 09:07

ReadingSoManyThreads · 12/04/2025 01:08

YABU

He's probably just having a cull and keeping people he's actively friends with.

Why would he keep his wife's friend when the both of you don't even see each other anymore?

I'm sure if either you or her husband want to know what is going on in each other's lives, you could just ask your friend/his wife.

Agree. I cull regularly. I just need to close it down, really.

northerneast · 12/04/2025 09:08

You have been friends with her since you were 14? I’m not sure why that’s relevant. What it the nature of your friendship with him?

Sometimeswinning · 12/04/2025 09:09

WinterMorn · 12/04/2025 00:50

So what? You are a 54 year old woman, not a silly teenager!

Facebook is not for teenagers. That’s been assigned to the older generation.

autisticbookworm · 12/04/2025 09:10

I only have my actual friends and family on Facebook so literally the people I’d invite to my wedding. I occasionally get rid of a few if we are no longer close. Maybe he was changing how he uses it?

Londonwaiting · 12/04/2025 09:22

I had a friend who did this. She just decided to clear up her Facebook friends by removing those she was not really in touch with anymore.

He perhaps did something similar. You are his wife’s friend after all, not his.

I really wouldn’t give it any more thought.

KewTitles · 12/04/2025 09:26

cakeandteaandcake · 12/04/2025 07:31

You never have a clearout?

I’ve deleted people because I never see or speak to them, eg people I met on a friend’s hen do 15 years ago really didn’t still need to be on there.

Show quote history

What for, though? It’s not like Facebook has a maximum number of friends and I need to create space. It’s not like there’s a charge per friend. So why actively cut people out if I haven’t fallen out with them? Just because we’re not in regular contact, does that mean I should deliberately make sure I cannot contact them (or vice versa)?

For me, half the point of Facebook is that you can keep in more casual touch with people you might not see or hear from much otherwise (school friends, old colleagues etc.). I don’t see the point of keeping it to only close friends I see regularly - I know what they’re doing anyway.

godmum56 · 12/04/2025 09:39

but its not the best friend its the husband......I mean get a grip!

cardibach · 12/04/2025 09:50

RitaAndFrank · 12/04/2025 07:35

I deleted FB years ago because of stuff like this. Despite people saying ‘it’s only social media’ and then probably proceeding to use it as one of their main means of socialising these days, it does take thought and effort to delete people and there does have to be a motive behind it. I’m with you, op, it is unnerving.

the same happened to me once - my best friend’s dh deleted me. I asked her why, she gave a shifty answer back, turned out she was having major jealousy issues due to problems in their marriage and she didn’t like him being friends with me as well as a few others. I think he actually ‘refriended’ me a couple of years later.

Anyway, head fucks like that are some of the reasons I left!

Edited

What thought and effort does it take? Either you decide to do a full of people you don’t interact with and the. You just go down the list or you see a post from someone and decide you aren’t that interested anymore and then you click a couple of times and they are gone. It’s not a multi step complicated or time consuming task.

Tumbler2121 · 12/04/2025 10:00

How did you even know, I have lots of Facebook friends from ages ago that I wouldn't notice if they weren't friends any more .... were you just a bit too interested in what he was doing/saying?