Best friend husband unfriended me on Facebook

[Bernie54]

To be offended that my best friends husband has unfriended me on Facebook. I only noticed by chance. Best friend says don’t take it personal ? But we have been best friends since 14, we are now both 54….they now live quite remotely about 5 hours away, so I don’t see her. I just find it odd behaviour. Should I care or even be bothered ?

I periodically 'tidy up' face book. Frankly I now only follow people that I care about - my nieces, cousins who I don't see very often. To my taste there is an awful lot of 'stuff' which clogs it up. There is probably a way to prevent this but I'm not an expert!

I suppose it depends on what you are posting. What you see as interesting might be totally inane to him. Politics also plays out a lot on social media these days. I've got rid of people on FB because I see them as right wing, clueless nutters.

I don’t do social media 🤣

Yes sorry I replied to the wrong poster 😊

Back in the day when I used FB, I used to hide anyone that posted stuff that annoyed me. Or unfriend them.

Don't take it personally? I always take it personally because it is. There is a reason he's unfriended you and bet she knows why.

I beg to differ actually! If they know eachother then it is real life. You only unfriend someone if they are annoying you or you don't want to see their posts which is personal and is an insult to you

Don't be daft. It could simply be that he is being bombarded with all the 'stuff' on Facebook. I've reduced mine to about 30 people. Nobody is upset or offended. My 'friends all have my phone number. If they need me they call.

I agree with the poster who said she is your best friend, not him. Doesn’t mean to say he doesn’t like you, but couples can have friendships away from each other.

Maybe he is just housekeeping profiles he has inherited that potentially don’t need to be there. Sounds like you are getting their updates via best friend, so all good.

I would find it weird if my friend's husband wanted me as a friend on Facebook in the first place.

Why? Don’t you have friendly relationships with any of your friend’s partners? Surely most people know their best friend’s partner at least fairly well, even if they’re not particularly close in their own right?

Yeah I don’t think it’s weird to friend your mates husband.

I mean my social media wasn’t super private, before I deactivated Facebook I had connections on it that I’d met once at a social gathering or on holiday etc so why wouldn’t I have a close friends family member/partner on it?

I wasn’t Facebook friends with all my friends husbands/wives but I was with some. Nothing strange about it at all.

Why are people acting so morally superior by saying they wouldn’t be offended by this slight, and that anyone who would be is being ridiculous?

Not morally superior.
Just not bothered

It’s just weird, and quite frankly, rude, behaviour.

The unfriending, or being unbothered by being unfriended, @Rhaenys?

I have been unfriended by someone I was close to, because we had differing views on a contentious topic, and yes, that did hurt. But if the husband of one of my friends, unfriended me, I don't think I would be worried or upset by this.

As I said earlier in the thread - perhaps he is just getting rid of the people whom he doesn't interact with, and it's not personal at all.

It’s a mixture of both.

I think it’s totally valid to unfriend someone who is posting things you find offensive, but as the OP’s friend says that it was ‘nothing personal’, that points to being the subject of a Facebook cull, which gives the message that you’re no longer good enough to be on their friends list, which in this particular scenario is rude. It’s different if you’re one of those people who in the past had just added anyone, so the people you’re unfriending are literal strangers. This isn’t the case for the OP though.

A few years ago an old family friend unfriended me on FB after she’d had a baby. We live very far apart now, so hadn’t seen each other for years, but we still spoke occasionally. It made me feel like she felt like I was someone she needed to shield her baby from.
Then another time, someone who had been one of my best friends at school, who I’d continued to socialise with into our 20s, when no one else from school did, culled me from all social media after she’d got a new job, but kept all the people from school who were in a similar field to her, even if she hadn’t really been friends with them. (She became a medical secretary and kept all the people who’d become doctors and nurses). That one honestly made me feel terrible. Like how could I not be offended by that?

I think it’s totally valid to unfriend someone who is posting things you find offensive, but as the OP’s friend says that it was ‘nothing personal’, that points to being the subject of a Facebook cull, which gives the message that you’re no longer good enough to be on their friends list, which in this particular scenario is rude.

I agree. It’s all very well saying “It’s not personal”, but someone still has to take the time to decide to do it and then do it. Why bother?

Hope it works. Facebook is always changing their functionality, just when I think I've got the hang of it. Then I have to figure out how to do everything again. Annoying!