Best friend husband unfriended me on Facebook

[Bernie54]

To be offended that my best friends husband has unfriended me on Facebook. I only noticed by chance. Best friend says don’t take it personal ? But we have been best friends since 14, we are now both 54….they now live quite remotely about 5 hours away, so I don’t see her. I just find it odd behaviour. Should I care or even be bothered ?

I disagree.

Because they're not in my life.

Being FB "friends" doesn't mean we're friends now, even if we used to be close in the past. My actual friends text/call/email and arrange to meet up with me. If someone isn't doing that or responding when I attempt to get in touch with them (or if I don't feel any need/desire to get in touch with them), then we're not friends. They're just relics from phases of life in the past and there's no relationship there.

I can honestly say I've never needed or wanted to contact one of these people at any time during the run up to or after deletion. That's literally why they've been deleted. They're already out of my life, so my SM may as well reflect that. Just because there's plenty of space on the friends list doesn't mean I'm compelled to fill it up.

I just prefer to have only a small amount of people on there, those I'm actually in touch with or might realistically want to be at some point. Not because I'm a wanker or want people to look at me or fret over why they've been unfriended (I genuinely don't believe any mentally healthy individual should be fretting over it in any way), just because it's my personal preference to have only those I'm in contact with IRL on there. There's nothing deep about it.

You like to use FB in a different way and keep options open for contacting old friends and random aquaintences etc at some point in the future. Ok 🤷. You do you.

I mean just because someone deleted someone off Facebook it doesn’t make them a wanker.

Did you often interact with him on FB, @Bernie54? If you didn’t, maybe he is just keeping the FB friends he does regularly interact with.

The relationship that matters is yours with your friend, and as long as that is as strong as ever, I honestly wouldn’t worry that her dh has unfriended you.

I disagree.

I suppose there are a number of possibilities.
He’s paring back his Facebook friends to only a bare minimum of people he is very close to and sees regularly. You said yourself you never see each other.
He is cutting back his use of social media altogether and only wants to use Facebook for people he doesn’t talk to in other ways.
He doesn’t agree with your politics or thinks you post too much and it clutters up his feed.
You’ve inadvertently annoyed him.
He’s done it my mistake.
He was hacked and had to start again and hasn’t yet refriended everyone (this happened to me).
He’s up to something he doesn’t want the close friends of his wife to see……

Just ask him?
Or send him another friend request with a message ‘hey just noticed we aren’t friends anymore, hope everything is ok’.

If you’re really confused why he’s deleted you just think about anything that you’ve posted or liked. No matter how innocuous it seems anything can rub someone up the wrong way and deleting you off Facebook isn’t the same as someone cutting you off.

The fact you said your friend was “cagey” about the subject means it probably was deliberate. He probably just doesn’t like or agree with something you’ve posted/liked on there.

They don’t see anyone in the real world including me since they moved. I don’t post politics or anything much in fact they post more than me, they are always on Facebook.

This. I get messages from my husband’s actual family asking why he’s unfriended them or left a group chat. 🤦‍♀️ It’s definitely not personal. He just keeps his feed to things and people he’s interested in.

In general what are the contents about?

The last time you met him in person did you get along?

Can you be confrontational / opinionated in person?

Yeah jesus – if a friend had deleted me from their facebook I’d assume we weren’t mates anymore.

If you don’t particularly enjoy someone’s posts you can just remove them from your feed. Going to the extent of deleting them makes a bit of a statement.

Probably just having a tidy up. You don’t see each other much, and you’re a friend of his wife, rather than his friend. I don’t think it’s any big deal. If he blanked you in real life, then you should worry!

Maybe he's not your friend? He just deleted a load of folks that weren't his close family? Lots of people don't really use FB anymore. I wouldn't take it personally either. It's not like she's dumped you?

I didn't want Facebook anymore so went to delete it but because it was linked to my business account I couldn't so I just unfriended everyone instead.
I did it without a second thought but the amount of random friends of friends and people I barely speak to that messaged me asking why i deleted them was insane.
It wasn't a declaration of hatred to anyone, just couldn't be bothered with Facebook, I had to explain to a bunch of grown ups that I was still their friend but just didn't want Facebook anymore.
Don't overthink it, he might just want his Facebook feed to be a certain way or something, only follow hobby pages etc.

I don’t think young people use Facebook, it’s now just for those of us who are over the hill 😂

Jesus Christ. Does it really matter?

did you both engage on each others posts regularly? Have lots of chats and comments and DMs together?

or did he just accept a friend request (or other way round) years ago as was dating your mate but you rarely interacted.

is he always civil and friendly when you meet up in person? Like real life…

social media friendships that aren’t ever acted on aren’t worth giving a second thought to.

Maybe a slip of the keyboard?

It's not you, it's him.

Why would anyone go.out of their way to contact you after you've deleted them? It's so passive aggressive.

Do you interact with him through FB?

if not maybe he has just deleted anyone he doesn’t interact with?

Maybe his internet usage has been a bit - er - suspect of late, she's caught him doing things he really shouldn't have been doing and has told him he needs to cut it out and to stop using social media.

Erm… because most people don’t give a shit about FB and will text me. It’s not passive aggressive - it’s just bloody facebook? It’s not the lifeblood of human existence or the sole engine of familial interaction, is it? It’s an SM site.

If I’d blocked their number and emails that would be an issue, no, friends still reach out, meet me, text… the others - people I’ve not seen since our kids left the same infant school ten years ago, I could really care less about. And I’m pretty sure they feel the same otherwise they’d have been in touch in the intervening decade, no?

My friend’s husband unfriended all ‘her’ friends and then he told her he’d been having an affair for 18 months and walked out. Maybe your friend’s DH is in the process of ‘tying up loose ends’ before he exits stage left.

@Bernie54 People who unfriend or block without an explanation lack emotional maturity and communication skills.

He didn’t block. He unfriended. The level of hysteria on this thread about a husband unfriending a wife’s friend on SM is bizarre. Maybe the friend posted in support of Trump or Palestine or Israel or something… and he just couldn’t be arsed to have that in his feed. He’s not obliged to justify himself,